We'll Lose Ourselves in This Masquerade

Danica Shardae had been confined between the Shardae and Malfoy Manors all summer. She would go to the Malfoy Manor every morning with her parents and come home just before the sun rose again. Some nights, she had been forced to stay the night because she as just too exhausted to Apparate home. The Dark Lord had made camp there and her parents were required in rebuilding meetings or missions every day. Right now even, her father had gone with another Death Eater to plead the Dark Lord’s case to the giants. Her mother felt safer at the Malfoy Manor with Narcissa. Danica had to admit that she too felt safer with Draco. She hadn’t forgiven him completely but there was an eerie comfort in having him near. They were alone in this, alone and together. They couldn’t tell anyone else of what was happening under their roofs and they could not speak to their parents of their fears. So as the meetings proceeded downstairs, she and Draco would find quiet solace locked away in his room or out in the grounds. They didn’t really talk much when they were alone. It all seemed to go without saying. But in public, in front of their parents, in front of the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters, they were the perfect Pureblood couple. The others had been saved from coming because it was not their house and it was not that of their betrothed. But Draco and Danica did not have that luck. And so she came every morning and they spent the day in his room or down by the lake or walking the grounds. They came together for lunch where they acted as the ideal couple, as if nothing had changed. Then they had time to themselves before once again putting on their masquerade. Their parents could not know, after all. They could not know that Draco had cheated on Danica. They could not know they were no longer together. They could not know Danica and Neville had officially started secretly dating the night the Dark Lord returned.

She had not seen Neville since the summer holidays had started, but they wrote constantly. Her parents knew of the owls that came and went constantly all throughout each day, but they kept their silence. They frowned upon her friendship, she knew, but they could not draw attention to her friendship with the ‘blood traitor’. She knew, though, she could not tell Neville anything really. After all, Neville was not really one of them, and though she had betrayed her parents by ending it with Draco and starting with Neville, she still had other familial duties. No matter how she felt for him, her family had to come first. Still, she took comfort in knowing that Neville must know the truth and still remained by her side. He would not leave her for it. He would be there for her.

Today, she and Draco were sitting down by the lake. He was leaning against a tree, one leg up, his hand hanging off his knee. She was leaning back on her elbows, looking out at the lake. “Do you think the Hogwarts Giant Squid would survive in your lake?” she asked. They had been doing this for a while, talking about random, pointless things. They would exchange a few words then fall silent again. Still, it was nice. It was comforting.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Our lochness monster might eat it.”

She laughed, rolling her eyes. “There’s only one lochness monster and everyone knows it’s in Scotland.”

“That one’s a myth,” he smirked. “Actually, it’s based off of ours. Had it for centuries, actually, he’s a bit of a family heirloom now. We call him Cissy, after my mother.”

“Oh yes because Mafloys years and years ago knew your mother would be added to the family tree and her name would be Narcissa.”

“Didn’t you know? We Mafloys are actually seers.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. It was so easy like this him, so natural. It pained her to know what they had become but it felt nice to know they wouldn’t lose each other completely. “Okay, All Powerful Seer, tell me my future.”

He put his hand on his head, smirking as he put the other straight out forward, humming softly. “What would you like to know, oh curious one?”

She was silent for a moment and her eyes turned serious. “Am I going to die when the war starts?” They knew it would happen, everyone did. Now that He was back, Dumbledore and Potter would not stop fighting. Already rumors of the Order of Phoenix reemerging had surfaced.

He lowered his hands, looking at her seriously. “No,” he said quietly.

“How do you know that?” she whispered. She didn’t want to admit her fear to herself, but she had to. She knew how bad it would be, she could feel it. She was terrified. She was scared for herself, for Draco, for Neville, and even for Granger. She was scared of the future and what it would bring.

“Because I’ll protect you,” he said firmly. “With my last dying breath, I will protect you. You know that, don’t you? Whatever has happened, whoever you’re with now, I love you, Dani, and I will do anything to keep you safe.”

She looked at him for a long moment before sighing and sitting up. She hugged her knees close to herself. “How did we end up here?” she sighed.

“Because I’m a right arse,” he smiled slightly, shrugging.

She smiled too, reaching over to take his hand. “I’d protect you too, Draco. But this doesn’t change anything.”

He nodded. “I know, but I also need you to know that. I need you to always remember that whatever happens in the future, I will make sure you make it out of this war alive.”

“Me too,” she vowed. “You and I are making it out, Draco. We will.”

He smirked, though his usual malice was not in it. He did not say anything, and she knew there was nothing either of them had to say to that. After all, they had been in love for almost her whole life. She had loved him before she even knew what that meant. For as long as she could remember, love had no meaning but one word, one name, his name. That did not go away so easily. Even today, though she had realized her true feelings for Neville, she loved Draco still. She knew they could not be together, not with what he had done and what she felt for Neville, but she loved him still.

“Do you ever think that maybe the only reason we feel as we do for each other is because of what we were taught to feel?” she asked quietly. “I mean, we were thrown together pretty much from birth.”

He thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. “It may have begun like that, but I am not in love with a vow, or a bond, or an agreement. I’m not in love with a 5 year old girl that my parents put me with every day. I’m in love with a beautiful girl, a girl that can be the loudest in the room or the quietest, a girl who always speaks her mind but knows when to hold her tongue for another day. I’m in love with a girl that I know everything about, a girl who touches her hair much too often, and bites her lip to stop from blushing. And I know you can’t fully forgive me yet, but you love me for more than an agreement as well. You love me for me, and you don’t know how lucky I was to have that or how stupid I was to ruin it.”

She gapped at him, not sure what to say. She knew there were probably tears in her eyes. She wanted to comfort him. She wanted to let him know she did love him for more than an agreement. She opened her mouth to do just that when they were interrupted by an owl. He sighed and leaned back against the tree as she opened the letter from Neville, her boyfriend. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as she held the letter in her hand unopened.

He shook his head. “Don’t be. Go answer it. I’m sure Longbottom is secretly worried you’ll be killed or something.”

“He doesn’t know,” she whispered. ‘I didn’t tell him anything.”

He looked at her, not in sadness but in pity. “As much as I hate to say this, he’s not the densest of the lot. That honor, I believe remains with Weasel. He knows who you are and who your parents are. He’ll know you’re here.”

She sighed, knowing he was right. She opened the letter, but smiled at Draco before turning to it. “And you’re right,” she said, not looking at him. “Ron really is the densest person I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.”

He laughed and then sat in silence to allow her to read her letter and respond. He stood when she had sent the owl off. “Come on, it’s nearly 12, which means it’s lunch time. Ready girlfriend?”

She sighed, standing and taking the arm he offered. “As ready as I always am, boyfriend.”