A Holiness to the Heart's Affections
A Holiness to the Heart's Affections
____Briefly after an untimely rainstorm, three bodies moved across into a forest clearing. The first, a burly man with sharp gemstone eyes, looked over his shoulder as he tripped away, followed closely by the second, a slim-figured young man of dark features, whose step developed a speed to match his famous wit. Faster behind them chased Fanny Brawne, unashamed by the dew stuck to her delicate, pink handmade dress and an old folded umbrella. As the party crossed the perimeter into the clearing, John Keats, the young man, came to attention at the sound of Fanny stepping onto a fragile branch, and his heart swelled sickly in his chest.
____John struggled to focus his eyes on a single subject, his voice wavering on an uneven plane.
____"I was away for ten days, Brown, with you encouraging me to stay on and get well!"
____"John, easy," answered the man Brown, hands palm-forward before his chest.
____"Now," John stuttered, his eyes frantic on a spot on the ground, his hand motioning the syllable, "you write Miss Brawne a valentine card." His face scrunched. "Are you lovers?"
____"John—"
____"Is that the truth?"
____Brown eased his head to one side, trying to reach contact with his friend's indecisive stare. "Easy—" he tried.
____John's voice interrupted in a high tone. "You sent a card, Charles!"
____He swept back and forth, picking at a thread on his coat and running a hand across the damp hair about his forehead. "You have the income to marry, while I have not—did you accept him, Miss Brawne?"
____At the edge of the clearing, Fanny lowered her umbrella into the mud.
____Brown sighed. "I sent that valentine…it was only a jest."
____Suddenly John's eyes found their focus, round and accusing. "For whom? I am not laughing. Miss Brawne is not laughing!"
____"John, I wrote that valentine to amuse Fanny, who makes a religion of flirting."
____Mr. Keats made a sound as if he were sick.
____"John, she's what? A poetry scholar one week, and what? a military scholar the next?"
John, in a rare moment impatient with words, paced across a small patch of the beaten ground, turning from heel to heel, his hands flying up sometimes in stiffened half-fists as if shoving away at some unseen smoke of a ghost.
____"You digust me," he mumbled.
____"It is a game," informed Mr. Brown again, to a spark in John's eyes. "It is a game to her! She collects suitors. John… John!"
____His last syllable nearly cut off by a gruffly warned, "Charles!" Mr. Brown determined a forceful yank of his overcoat lapel and the woody scratch of his back thrust against the trunk of a tree.
____He watched John's eyes as his friend spoke, clinging desperately, "There is a holiness to the heart's affections; you know nothing of that!"
____A heavily-breathed silence ensued as John broke his eye contact, focusing again on the details of Brown's jacket before frowning and shoving his hands open from the grip on the fabric. He shuffled away back to the scratch of earth where he'd paced, stood frozen, then pinched fingers against the bridge of his nose as he puffed out an exhausted breath.
____"Believe me, it's not pride," he said in his defense.
____Mr. Brown said nothing, but watched, blue eyes glinting, as John—as if responding to an afterthought—turned around his shoulder and made a meek progress over to Fanny, where she stood drooping with umbrella in hand. John's hands hid themselves in his pockets. He looked at her.
____"Are you in love with Mr. Brown?" he asked.
____Fanny bent her head toward the ground and set her jaw. The umbrella tapped once as spasm strengthened her hand, but as she lifted her chin to bring her eyes to John's, a steel had calmed her features into a deadly wall. Her hair, strung with the rain against her cheeks, rang a pitiful chord in John's heart.
____"Why don't you speak?" he asked.
____John struggled to focus his eyes on a single subject, his voice wavering on an uneven plane.
____"I was away for ten days, Brown, with you encouraging me to stay on and get well!"
____"John, easy," answered the man Brown, hands palm-forward before his chest.
____"Now," John stuttered, his eyes frantic on a spot on the ground, his hand motioning the syllable, "you write Miss Brawne a valentine card." His face scrunched. "Are you lovers?"
____"John—"
____"Is that the truth?"
____Brown eased his head to one side, trying to reach contact with his friend's indecisive stare. "Easy—" he tried.
____John's voice interrupted in a high tone. "You sent a card, Charles!"
____He swept back and forth, picking at a thread on his coat and running a hand across the damp hair about his forehead. "You have the income to marry, while I have not—did you accept him, Miss Brawne?"
____At the edge of the clearing, Fanny lowered her umbrella into the mud.
____Brown sighed. "I sent that valentine…it was only a jest."
____Suddenly John's eyes found their focus, round and accusing. "For whom? I am not laughing. Miss Brawne is not laughing!"
____"John, I wrote that valentine to amuse Fanny, who makes a religion of flirting."
____Mr. Keats made a sound as if he were sick.
____"John, she's what? A poetry scholar one week, and what? a military scholar the next?"
John, in a rare moment impatient with words, paced across a small patch of the beaten ground, turning from heel to heel, his hands flying up sometimes in stiffened half-fists as if shoving away at some unseen smoke of a ghost.
____"You digust me," he mumbled.
____"It is a game," informed Mr. Brown again, to a spark in John's eyes. "It is a game to her! She collects suitors. John… John!"
____His last syllable nearly cut off by a gruffly warned, "Charles!" Mr. Brown determined a forceful yank of his overcoat lapel and the woody scratch of his back thrust against the trunk of a tree.
____He watched John's eyes as his friend spoke, clinging desperately, "There is a holiness to the heart's affections; you know nothing of that!"
____A heavily-breathed silence ensued as John broke his eye contact, focusing again on the details of Brown's jacket before frowning and shoving his hands open from the grip on the fabric. He shuffled away back to the scratch of earth where he'd paced, stood frozen, then pinched fingers against the bridge of his nose as he puffed out an exhausted breath.
____"Believe me, it's not pride," he said in his defense.
____Mr. Brown said nothing, but watched, blue eyes glinting, as John—as if responding to an afterthought—turned around his shoulder and made a meek progress over to Fanny, where she stood drooping with umbrella in hand. John's hands hid themselves in his pockets. He looked at her.
____"Are you in love with Mr. Brown?" he asked.
____Fanny bent her head toward the ground and set her jaw. The umbrella tapped once as spasm strengthened her hand, but as she lifted her chin to bring her eyes to John's, a steel had calmed her features into a deadly wall. Her hair, strung with the rain against her cheeks, rang a pitiful chord in John's heart.
____"Why don't you speak?" he asked.