My Toxic Valentine

Alex was pissed off and he made sure Jack knew it. The younger boy had been made to listen to him ranting for over an hour about it when he first found out.

Jack had tried to reason with him, but it was useless. He was moody the whole night and it was almost a relief for Jack when he left for the diner early that morning, leaving Alex snoring softly in his bed.

When Alex woke up, he was still agitated. He tried to push it to the back of his mind, to just get over it. He knew why Jack didn't tell him, and it made sense. But he was too furious not to deal with this.

He tried to push it to the back of his mind as he got ready and drove to school. And it worked.

Until he was walking down the hall to his locker.

He saw Sean standing there, surrounded by a group of other guys; including Rian, and felt the absolute rage he'd been trying to ignore surge through him.

He began to push through the crowded halls and make his way over. Sean looked up at him and smirked.

“Hey, fag. How's you-”

He was cut off by the sickening crack of Alex's fist colliding with his jaw.

“Never touch him again,” Alex spat at the blonde boy, pushing him hard up against the row of lockers that he'd stumbled back into when he was hit.

The smirk had been wiped of Sean's face – quite literally – and he now looked a little bit terrified.

Alex had always been one of the more mild-mannered of the group, and his reaction yesterday had made the other guys feel like they had a long way to push him before he'd fight back.

Unfortunately for them, they hadn't realised just how much of a pushing beating up the one person Alex truly cared for would be.

It was so quiet that Alex could hear Sean breathing unsteadily. The entire corridor had stopped and were now focussed on the scene that was playing out in front of them.

“Why?” Alex asked, his voice low and filled with anger.

“W-what?”

“Why did you do it? Do you really have nothing better to do than fuck with someone who's never done anything to you? Do you have any idea how he fucking looked? How scared he was? You have no fucking idea what he's been through. You're a worthless piece of shit, Sean, a spineless cunt and I can't believe we were ever friends,” Alex was nearly yelling now, his voice unsteady with emotion and his grip on Sean's shirt had tightened; his knuckles white now.

Alex felt a hand on his shoulder and his breath caught in his chest, waiting for someone to make a move, to hit him.

“Alex, come on. Let him go,” Zack said quietly “He's a prick, yeah, but he's not worth getting yourself in trouble over.”

Reluctantly, Alex released Sean's shirt and stepped back, letting Zack guide him out of the crowd.

“You're weak, Gaskarth. Just like your pathetic poor-ass shit of a boyfriend,” Sean said, the cockiness returning into his voice and stance. He felt secure now that Zack had intervened.

That was a mistake though.

Alex turned to Zack, giving him a pleading look and the other boy shrugged, releasing his grip on Alex's arm.

“Go on.”

Without a moment of hesitation, Alex turned back and shoved Sean against the lockers once more, his head hitting them with force. He threw all the anger he could muster into a single punch that left the other boy's nose bleeding and his eye bruising.

“You took everything he had and you did it for fun. You intentionally picked on someone who you knew wouldn't fight back. You're the weak one here.” Alex's voice was shaking now “If you ever fucking touch him again... I will kill you, I swear to g-”

“Alexander Gaskarth,” a furious voice cut through the threat “In my office immediately!”

Alex dropped the front of Sean's shirt and closed his eyes. He was in deep shit now.

“Yes sir,” he muttered, giving Sean a dark look to let him know that the threat still stood.

Half an hour later he was sitting outside the principal's office on the hard plastic seats reserved for unruly students. Alex wondered if severe ass-numbing was the newest form of capitol punishment.

He honestly felt better now that he'd at least given Sean a taste of what he deserved. He was pissed that he'd not been able to give the other two the same treatment, but he knew Sean had been behind it all. Besides, he wasn't even 100% sure who the other two had been. Nobody was all that keen to own up to it.

The principal had yelled at him for a bit and then sent him outside while he “called to let your parents know about the havoc you've been wreaking, young man” and Alex couldn't deny that he felt a little nervous.

He was definitely facing suspension, at the very least, and he knew his parents wouldn't be impressed. But hey, if it got them home for once maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing, Alex thought bitterly.

“Hey.”

Alex looked up to see Rian standing in front of him, a hesitant expression on his face. He narrowed his eyes at him.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“I didn't know,” Rian said, shifting uncomfortably.

“There are a lot of things you don't know, could you be more specific?” Alex said childishly.
“I didn't know what they were going to do to him. I only found out a few minutes ago when Zack explained everything to me.”

Alex felt relieved. He'd thought for a moment that maybe Rian was one of the other ones involved and that Jack had lied when he said he didn't know who they were.

He gave Rian a calculating stare before asking “You swear you didn't know?”

Rian nodded. “I honestly had no idea. I would've stopped them. You know I'm not like that, Alex.”

It was true. Alex had been friends with him long enough to know that he wasn't a liar and he wasn't a violent person.

“Good. Doesn't get you off the hook for being such a dick lately though,” he said stubbornly, crossing his arms over his body.

Rian smiled sheepishly. “I didn't really think it would. I'm sorry, bro. I really am. I guess it was just the shock and... peer pressure?” he offered feebly.

Alex laughed. “Yeah, it's a bitch. I forgive you though, bro.”

“Thank fuck,” Rian said with a sigh of relief.

Alex smiled before biting his lip nervously. “I am... I am gay though.”

“I don't care,” Rian said honestly “I just want you to be happy.”

“When did you get so fuckin' cheesy?” Alex asked with a grin.

Rian laughed and shrugged. “I have no idea. Probably when Kara agreed to go out with me.”

Alex raised his eyebrows in shock. “You serious? Awesome, bro.”

Rian grinned “Yeah, she's alright.”

“So's Jack,” Alex replied with a smile.

“I'd like to meet him,” Rian said, causing Alex to frown at him. “Properly, I mean. I need to see if he's good enough for my best friend.”

Alex sighed. “Maybe you can convince him of that as well,” he muttered.

“What?”

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

“You can talk to me, Alex. I'm not going to judge you. Honestly, I just want you to be happy.”

Alex sighed. “I don't even know, man. He won't commit and like... I want more than just a kiss and a handjob every now and again.”

“Have you told him that?” Rian asked.

“No,” Alex admitted “He knows how I feel. I mean, I think he does. But I've not really come out and said I want to be with him. But, I dunno. I'm happy with what we've got going on. I mean, we're close. It's good.”

“Is it enough though?” Rian asked, giving him a pointed look “Are you really happy with it?”

“When did you get so fuckin' wise?” Alex mumbled, a little embarrassed that he'd been so transparent.

“I've always been wise. You just never listen.”

Alex laughed and shook his head. He'd missed Rian. Yeah, he'd spoken about all this with Zack but honestly, he wasn't a particularly sensitive guy so he'd not been able to offer a lot of insight.

“Mr. Dawson, shouldn't you be in class?”

Both boys looked up to see Mr. Hawke, their headmaster, standing in the doorway to his office.

“Uh... Mr. Holt sent me here, actually,” he admitted.

Alex turned to him “What?”

“Yeah... Zack and I kind of had words with Wes and Baker. They were the other two who... you know,” Rian said, a slight blush on his face.

Sometimes Alex's friends – his real friends – were pretty fucking awesome. “Thanks,” he said. Rian just shrugged before Hawke cleared his throat.

“If I could just interrupt you for a moment; Mr. Gaskarth, you've got a week suspension. I've spoken to your parents and they said they'll discuss further punishment when they get back.”

Typical, Alex thought. He gets in trouble at school and his parents are too busy holidaying to discipline him properly.

“Can I go now?” he asked, ignoring the sympathetic look that Rian was giving him.

“Yes,” Hawke said before adding sternly “And remember, Mr. Gaskarth; this is a punishment and not a holiday.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Yes sir. I'll call you tomorrow, Ri.”

Rian just nodded at the other boy before standing up and making his way into the principal's office.

As Alex was driving away from the school he began to realise that Rian was definitely right. He wasn't satisfied with a pseudo-relationship with Jack anymore.

There were enough in his life already- his parents, for one. He'd never really questioned the relationships he had before and he chalked that up to how disgustingly privileged he was.

He went to a nice school, he had nice things and, for the most part, he had good friends. So yeah, his parents were a little distant and often away for a long time, but he was old enough to look after himself. He was comfortable in his life, what was there to question?

But then Jack came along and changed everything. Alex wanted to give him everything and show him how much he cared about him and he was doing that.

Was it wrong for him to want a little more in return?

He pulled up outside his house and got out of the car, still deep in thought as he walked to the door. He was happy to see Jack's shoes sitting at the door. He'd gotten up stupidly early to work the morning shift today because Alex had a half-day on Wednesdays and it meant they could spend more time together.

He kicked off his own shoes, leaving them next to Jack's but nowhere near as neatly, and wandered into the living room, where he could hear the television. Sure enough, Jack was laying on the couch.

He saw Alex walk in and sat up with a start, looking ridiculously guilty for someone who was lazing and watching the Disney channel.

Alex smiled. “It's okay, Jack. I told you that you could make yourself at home here.”

Jack blushed, but frowned as he glanced at the clock. “What are you doing home?”

“UhIgotsuspended.Forfighting,” Alex said quickly, knowing full well that he was about to get reprimanded again.

“Fighting who?” Jack asked, looking horrified.

“Who do you think?”

“Are you okay?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah. I'm fine. He didn't touch me. He's not so fine though.”

Jack shook his head. “You shouldn't have done that.”

“I know. I don't care,” Alex shrugged “I hate him.”

Jack went to speak but Alex shook his head.

“Don't. I hate him for what he did to you. I hate anyone that makes you hurt and I would gladly risk getting my ass kicked or expelled for you every day. I want more from you, Jack. I want you to be with me and I know why you don't want to commit. But, honestly, they're stupid reasons. I will never hurt you and I will never let anyone else.”

“Alex,” Jack began, blushing with embarrassment and happiness and fright and every other emotion under the sun.

“I love you,” Alex said bluntly “I'm fucking in love with you, okay?”