Simple and Sweet

Take the time just to listen
I stood by my window watching the rain pour down, the lightning strike, and the thunder roar.

When the voices screaming are much too loud

But it still wasn’t enough to drown out the screams of my parents.

Take a look in the distance
Try and see it all

They were always fighting. There was always something wrong. And I just couldn’t take it anymore. I thought it would get them to stop.

I thought if I was hurt it was get them to stop.

Chances are that you might find
That we share a common discomfort now

Apparently I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

I feel like I’m walking a fine line

They STILL didn’t care.

All they cared about was themselves.

Tell me only if it’s real

They didn’t listen to me. They didn’t even come to see if I was okay.

They didn’t care when they saw the blood.

They didn’t care when they saw the blade.

They didn’t care when they saw me crying.

Still I’m on my way

They just said “Shit call 911”
(On and on it goes)

Oh but won’t they be surprised.

Vacant hope to take

To find out that their “perfect” daughter is really messed up because they didn’t care.

They wanted the “perfect” daughter and they pushed and pushed me to the breaking point.

Hey I can’t live in here for another day

I wanted to be an artist. To spend my time making paintings and sculptures to sell to other art fanatics…but no…that wasn’t what they wanted for me.

They wanted so much more

Darkness has kept the light concealed
Grim as ever

You would think that they could see how they were strangling me. How they were dragging me down day by day. I tried to tell them…but they wouldn’t listen.

You would think they would after this.

Hold on to faith as I dig another grave

You would think after all of the blood and tears that they would feel something. Some sort of remorse.

But no.

They ignored me and all the doctors.

Meanwhile the mice endure the wheel

They just wanted me back home and under their control.

Real as ever

They just wanted to crush this out of me. Crush the crazy out of me.

And it seems I’ve been buried alive

But the crazy won’t leave. It’s a part of me now. You pushed it into me by making me conform to what you want.

I walked the fields through the fire

Ever since I was a little girl.

Taking steps until I found solid ground

Ever since my brother ran away at 16 they’ve been trying to make me what they wanted him to be.

Followed dreams reaching higher

Perfect.

Couldn't survive the fall

His leaving devastated me. His getting away made me jealous. I wanted him to take me with him. Only at five I knew things weren’t right.

But he wouldn’t.

He couldn’t.

Much has changed since the last time

He couldn’t take care of himself and me.

He swore he’d come back for me.

But THEY had other plans.

And I feel a little less certain now

They moved us far away.

So far away that he hasn’t been able to find us.

And I know he’s tried.

I know because of the way he looked when he left.

You know I jumped at the first sign

He knew I was in pain and he did what he could to protect me. He left them a threatening note that they burned. He tried to send the cops after them but they took me out of school and moved away.

They tried to burn the memories out of me by trying to replace my mind with facts and useless trivia.

Tell me only if it’s real

But I wasn’t being fooled.

I knew what was up.

I knew I was in my own personal hell.

Memories seem to fade

And no matter how hard I tried to get away they just pulled me back in closer.

On and on it goes

So close in that I was starting to die inside.

Wash my view away

They were slowly killing their daughter inside just like they were doing to their son.

Only…

Hey I can’t live in here another day

Only I had no way out.

They locked the doors and threw away the keys.

Darkness has kept the light concealed
Grim as ever

I was never alone unless I was home.

Locked away inside my room.

Locked away so no one could see me.

Hold on to faith as I dig another grave

I had no one.

I was becoming no one.

Meanwhile the mice endure the wheel
Real as ever

My life was becoming an endless game of survival and I just couldn’t handle it.

And I’m chained like a slave

I just couldn’t handle anything anymore.

I was trapped.

Trapped in the dark
Slammed all the locks

There was no way out for me.

Except…

Death calls my name and its seems I've been buried alive

…The blade…

Take you down now
Burn it all out

It called and called to me until one day…I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Throw you all around

It was that easy to feel alive.

So easy and yet so painful.

Get your fucking
HANDS OFF ME

But it sure threw them for a loop.

What’s it feel like?

They sure came crashing down off their high horse for a few seconds when they saw me.

Took the wrong route
Watch it fall apart

Years after I started to cut.

Sure made them see me in a new light.

Now your knockin'
AT THE WRONG GATE

All because I was stupid and did one cut too deep.

I won’t make that mistake again.

For you to pay the toll
A price for you alone

The next time I cut…it will be the last time.

The only deal you’ll find

I won’t be there to wake up.

I’ll gladly take your soul

I will be their last regret.

While it seems sick
Sober up quick

I know my brother will be there at my funeral.

I know that he’ll find me.

Psycho lunatic

And he’ll cry over me.

Crushing you with
HANDS OF FAITH

But do not fear dear brother.

Shame to find out

For I will always be with you.

Even when you couldn’t be there for me.

When it’s too late

I tried to be strong just like you said.

But you’re all the same

But I failed big brother.

Trapped inside
INFERNO AWAITS

I failed at being strong.

I let them break me.

Evil thoughts can hide
I'll help release the mind

I let it all fall apart.

I let the demons take me when I fell.

I'll peel away the skin

I let them win.

Release the dark within

I’m sorry…

This is now your life

I didn’t mean to fail you

Strike you from the light

I didn’t mean for it to all end this way

This is now your life

I didn’t mean to die…

Die buried alive

I don’t want to end my own life.

This is now your life

But I feel that I have no other choice.

(What’s if feel like?)

There’s no other way out.

Strike you from the light

It’s time now…

This is now your life

The pills are starting to work now…

(What’s it feel like?)

I unwrap my arms and inspect the scars.

Die buried alive

I can’t stand anymore…I’m too weak.

(I’ll gladly take your soul)

I fall to the ground now and I hear the silence in the pouring rain.

This is your life now

I close my eyes now and let them take me.

“I’m sorry”

Die Buried Alive