Dear Autumn

“Go to your room!” the mother yelled at her son. He sighed sadly, and did as his mother had oh so kindly asked him to. Once he’d reached his bedroom, he slowly shut his door with his foot as his eyes roamed his crappy “computer” desk for a paper. He didn’t see why it was called a computer desk when he had no computer for the desk. He wouldn’t question it though. There was no point.

He smiled weakly as he spotted a spare paper lying conveniently beside a pen. He walked towards it with his mind made up. He picked up the paper and pen, and started to write out a letter to the love of his life, his girlfriend.



The normally bubbly girl rushed across the street as ambulances and police cars parked in front of it. She pushed her way through the quickly forming throng of curious neighbors, and reached where a police man was holding his arms out behind the yellow tape, telling everyone not to cross onto the other side of it.

“Excuse me, sir, but what’s going on?” She shouted over the chatter of all the annoying gossipers behind her, causing them to quiet down, also interested in finding out.

“I’m afraid I can’t divulge any information to you, miss,” he replied with the typical Boston accent.

“But you don’t understand! That’s my boyfriend’s house,” she stated. “Please, tell me what’s going on,” she pleaded.

“Are you Autumn?”

“I am. How did you know?”

“He left you a letter,” the police man stated as he handed over a piece of paper. She took it gingerly into her hands and stared at the officer, confused.

“What,” she cleared her throat, “What do you mean he left it?” The officer stared at her, hoping he wouldn’t have to be the one to break the news to her. “Has he left the town?” The officer sighed.

“I’m afraid not, miss. He died.” She stared at him quizzically. “It was suicide. I’m terribly sorry for your loss, miss.”

Autumn stared at the officer, dumbfounded, as the crowd started to disperse. Suicide in this town is a touchy subject, and no one wants to be around for the aftermath. He killed himself, she found herself repeating over and over again in her head. She was trying to just understand it. She looked up as the coroners carried away a heavy looking body bag. It was becoming painfully obvious that this was not just some dumb nightmare.

Her hands gripped the sheet of paper in her hands so tightly that she got some paper cuts from it. She looked down at the letter, and read it, trying to comprehend why he’d done it. She’d known his home life was far from great. Actually, it was the farthest from.




She stared at the paper, her grip loosening. She fell to her knees, her shoulders shaking. Her eyes leaked tears, as did the sky.



“Hey,” Cassie greeted. Autumn just nodded her head. “How are you doing today?” Autumn raised her eyebrow.

“The same as every other day,” she stated monotonously. Cassie sighed. “What – did you just expect me to wake up and be happy when he’s gone?”

“No, of course not. I know it mustn’t be easy —”

“No, it most definitely isn’t. The love of my life is gone, forever, and everyone’s acting as though I should be over it by now. He’s only been gone for three months!”

“Exactly, it’s been three months. Maybe now you should try moving on. No, don’t interrupt me,” Cassie said as Autumn went to cut her off, again. “I’m not saying stop loving him, I’m saying you should be happier. I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to feel this way, right?”

"Well, no, he wouldn’t but this is how’d he’d feel if I’d done the exact same thing to him.”

“Correction, if you’d committed suicide; he would have done the exact same. That boy couldn’t live without you if he tried,” Cassie stated. “I think I know what could make you feel better.”

“Can you bring back Aiden?”

“No, no one can, Autumn. You should know that. But I think I have something that’ll take the pain away.” Autumn stared at her best friend quizzically as she pulled something out of her purse. “This, my dear, is your new best friend. Autumn meet Joint, Joint meet Autumn.” Autumn stared at the rolled up drug that her friend was offering her.

Autumn reached over, and grabbed hold of the joint. “You know, before, I would never even consider doing this because every thing was perfect. But now that he’s gone, it’s like everything has come crashing down and because of it I’m a totally different person.” Autumn grabbed the lighter that Cassie was offering her, and lit up the joint.

Her mom was going to kill her.



Autumn sighed and didn’t even bother hiding the drugs and alcohol that were between her and Cassie as her mother stomped down the stairs.

“Autumn, I’ve had enough of this,” she told her lost daughter. “What happened to my sweet daughter that could go through just about anything? You need to change, now. Give up the drugs and alcohol, go to therapy, and get better. Please, for me, for Aiden,” her mother pleaded.

“Don’t you dare pull the Aiden card on me! He left me, and this is what it did to me. I’m not just going to act like his death, his suicide, doesn’t affect me. It will always affect me.”

“He was miserable Autumn, what would you have done?”

“I would have run away, talked to the cops about what happened to me. He thinks everyone is better off without him.” Autumn turned her head to the ceiling, to the sky. “Well Aiden, clearly I need you in my life!” she yelled, hoping he'd hear her. She broke down, and started to sob. Her mother sighed, and walked up the stairs onto the first floor.

Autumn turned around to talk to Cassie only to find her lying on the ground, not moving. Autumn rushed to her side, sobbing harder now, and grabbed onto her. “Cassie? Cassie? Cassie?” She shook her a bit. “Mom!” Her mother rushed down the stairs.

“Wha-what’s wrong?”

“C-Ca-Cassie, l-look!” Autumn stuttered out through her sobbing. Her mother’s eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with her hand. She rushed up the stairs, and in the next few minutes, Autumn can faintly hear sirens in the background.



Autumn stood and stared around at the small gathering for her best friend’s memorial service. Her mother still wouldn’t tell her how she’d died. Why wouldn’t anyone tell her anything? She sighed, and sat down in a chair, staring at the odd assortment of people. Autumn recognized their dealer amongst the many people that were there.

Autumn sighed as her mother blocked her line of view and sat down in front of her. “I’m sorry sweetie. She over-dosed; she took too many drugs,” she told me.

“I know what over-dosed means. I’m broken, not dumb,” she responded. “Since you seem to think you’re so smart, tell me, why is it everyone’s leaving me? First Aiden, and now my best friend.” Her mother stared at her, appalled by her tone of voice.

“I don’t know,” Autumn snorted, “but will you go to therapy now?” Her mother asked her. Autumn sighed, and agreed.

“I really don’t think this’ll work, just so you know.”

The next day, at a therapy group meeting , Autumn sat in a hard, cold metal chair picking at her nails. The therapist was late, and according to the chatty brat beside her, that’s normal. The doors burst open as a woman in gray jeans with a 80s styled t-shirt walked in.

“That’s her, our therapist. She says she dresses like that to make us feel like we’re not being talked to by some dumb professional adult. It actually works.” Autumn raised an eyebrow and just shook her head.

“Sorry I’m late everyone, my car broke down so I had to take the bus. Has anyone ever noticed that the bus kind of smells like a forest after rain?” Everyone just shook their heads.

“She’s a bit of a nutter, but she’s pretty cool. You’ll like her, new girl,” the annoying brat muttered.

“I have a name, brat.”

“So do I, new girl.”

Autumn glared at him, and he glared right back at her. The therapist cleared her throat, and the two teenagers turned to face her.

“So you must be Autumn, correct?” Autumn nodded. “Would you like to tell us why you’re here?” She shook her head.

“I don’t want to be here.”

“Well, that’s a start,” she said. Autumn didn’t understand how that was a start. “At least you know what you want. Do you want to get better?” Autumn nodded. “Good, that’s even better. Now, since you and Chad seem to be acquainted I will ask you two to talk about your reasons for being here, together.”

Autumn turned to the annoying brat beside her, Chad, and sighed. This was going to be a very, very long 5 months, she thought.



Autumn and Chad walked out of therapy, laughing and smiling as though nothing had never gone wrong in their lives. Both their parents, ready to pick them up, smiled, happy to see their children so happy after being so depressed for so long.

Chad leaned towards Autumn, and pecked her lips quickly. She smiled and hugged him, and then they each turned to their parents and separated.

Up in the heavens, Aiden and Cassie smiled.