Remembering Sunday

* Alex’s Pov *

I heard her voice scream my name and jumped up, I ran to the door to see her still shouting my name “I’m here” I said looking worried and she shut up.

“Why are you here?” she asked as Bailey left the room shutting the door.

“Jack rang and said he’d drag me down here” I said sitting down.

“You shouldn’t be here are you okay?” she asked.

“Lexi it’s you that’s ill” I replied.

“I’m fine but are you? You shouldn’t be here go home” she rambled.

“I’m fine, well I’m not I can’t get that night out my head. Just the smell of this place and it sends me back there, the doctors and the beeping it’s awful,” I admitted and she nodded.

“I’m sorry I put you here” I said looking at my feet.

“You didn’t do this” she replied.

“Yes I did, I hurt you again,” I admitted.

“Your right you did, why do you have to do it Alex?” she asked and I stayed quiet.

“Don’t ignore me, I knew when I saw you in that club things would be difficult and I knew when I got in that bed with you something would happen but I trusted you Alex, like I always do. You know that I trust you more than anyone else and you use that” she snapped and I shook my head.

“I don’t use it” I stated.

“Yes you do, you know I’ll forgive you for almost anything and only you have ever made me feel this way! I saw Greg kiss another girl but you push me away after 3 weeks I end up in this mess again” she said crying and I looked at her broken.

“I don’t know what to say” I admitted.

“No you never do, you can write songs about loving girls but when it comes down to it you always treat them like crap! In fact is it all girls or is it just me?” she asked and I shrugged.

“You can’t even answer me, have you ever loved me?” she asked and I closed my eyes.

“Of course I loved you, you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved. When we first started dating all them years ago Jack warned me, ‘She’ll break your heart’ he told me but I didn’t care because you were worth the risk” I said.

“I bet he never said you’d break mine though did he?” she asked and I looked away.

“Can you honestly remember a time I hurt you?” she asked and I shook my head as tears fell heavily from my eyes.

“Never, it was always me who made you cry. Now, when we broke up last time, over my brother, when you told me you wanted to go to college, that time really early on when you caught me flirting with another girl” I said listing every time I’d ever made her cry.

“Every time I forgave you and when people started rumors about you cheating on me I never doubted you for a minute because I loved you and I trusted that you’d never hurt me” she explained.

“I never cheated on you ever! After that girl I flirted with that one time I never even looked at another girl, I didn’t need to I had you,” I argued back.

“Yeah you had me but you always throw it away like I don’t matter to you” she said.

We both stayed quiet as the doctor came in to check on her and the nurses took blood for tests. When everyone was gone again I looked up at her “You’ve always mattered to me, you’ve made me who I am today” I admitted.

“What the worst boyfriend to ever walk the earth?” she asked and I shook my head.

“Every good thing about me I learnt from you. Remember 15-year-old Alex that cursed all the time, was rude to everyone, was bad at school, had no manners, thought he deserved everything; you taught me I was wrong. You made me be nice to people, to think before I speak, to treat people better. Without you I’d never be where I am today” I said and she cried.

“Then why treat me this way? I know you Alex and I know your lying to me” she said and I fought the urge to tell her I loved her.

“You don’t know me” I said.

“Yes I do, so don’t lie to me. Do you like me Alex?” she asked.

“I’ve been through so much with you,” I said trying to avoid the question.

“I meant do you have feelings for me” she said and I kept quiet.

“From the moment I saw you again I felt something for you but living at yours made it stronger, I like you and I know I could fall back in love with you so easily” she admitted.

Since I saw her at the club that’s all I’d wanted to hear from her, but I was going to California in less then 24 hours.

“I loved you so much back then and I still love you” I admitted and I saw her face brighten.

“But as a friend, I’ve tried but we don’t feel the same and I don’t want to ruin that memory” I lied and she started to cry again.

I walked towards her and kissed her forehead, she grabbed my top and I looked into her beautiful green eyes as she kissed me, I placed my hand on her neck kissing her back “I want you Alex” she whispered.

“We can’t be together” I stated.

“I want you” she said her eyes widening.

I resisted the urge to kiss her and climb on the bed with her “If I can’t do it in front of the dog then I think I’m going to struggle here” I said “It would just be sex to me but to you it’d be so much more and I can’t do that” I added and she pushed me away.

A nurse walked in “What’s the matter dear?” she asked but Lexi refused to speak.

“I know you want me to love you, to make you feel like I used to back then but I can’t okay” I stated.

“You know you always were arrogant Alex!” she snapped crying heavily.

“I think it’s time you left your making her worse,” ordered the nurse pushing me out the door.

“What’s up? Where are you going?” asked Jack.

“Home! This is over, I’m done,” I said walking out.