Is This Love or Merely Lust?

I stood in the studio still half confused as to why Jess had walked out, I knew that part of the reason was how Jyrki was acting towards her. He was sending her mixed messages, and it was annoying the crap out of her. I sighed and set my headphones on the music stand and stepped out of the recording studio and stood next to Dad.

“What’s gotten into her?” Dad sighed I looked up at him and saw that he was really worried about his oldest daughter.

“I have no idea” I lied to cover my sister’s complicated love-life, I glanced at Jyrki who was still looking at the door Jess had disappeared out of only a few minutes ago,

“Do you know where she would’ve gone?” Dad asked me and I nodded

“Yeah, I have a fairly good idea” I said knowing Bam was still in town, and he was always the first person we went to if we had guy problems... especially if one of them needed to be ‘sorted out’ I smiled to myself before I realised Dad had left the room, and I was alone with the 69 Eyes.

“Where did she go?” Jyrki asked looking worried.

“Why should I tell you?” I asked cocking my head to the side to look at them all from a different angle, and also pondering if or not to tell Jyrki where Jess would have gone

“Because I’m worried about her, please? I want to make sure she’s okay.” he said

“You’re the reason she walked out in the first place. Maybe you should stop giving her mixed signs, it’s not good to play with a girl and her emotions, it can earn you a kick in the balls.” I said nodding slightly “she has had some good relationships, but they always let her down in the end, you need to decide what your feelings are towards her, and tell her how you feel.” I said “She doesn’t need another let-down of a boyfriend.” I finished.

“It’s just difficult to figure out-” he started but I cut him off

“Just figure it out on your own, and tell her, it would make life so much easier” I said.

He didn’t say anything else, so I took out my phone and dialled Jess’s number and put my phone to my ear after two rings she answered “Hello?” she asked

“Hey bub, where’d you go?” I asked knowing what the answer was going to be anyway

“I’m with Bam” she said and I smiled

“Oh okay, I thought so, was just making sure, I’ll meet you back at home?” I asked

“Sure” she said I could tell she was feeling better

“Cool, so what’s the verdict?” I asked knowing Bam always had an answer for us, when it came to boy trouble

“He’s going to talk to him for me, see if he can see what’s on his mind” she said and then sighed

“Its okay hun, I’m sure he will do his best” I said looking straight at Jyrki

“Yeah, I just hope he figures out what’s going on, where are you?”

“Still at the studio, Dad was so worried about you, you should have seen his face when you shut the door on your way out” I said smiling

“Oh really? Whoops, I’ll text him now then” she said

“Okay, I’ll see you at home” I said

“Bye” she said lastly and we both hung up. I put my cell phone back in my purse and smiled at the boys.

“Okay, well, since it’s nearly 5 I have to go home, and Jess is going to help me get ready” I said smiling at Jussi who smiled back happily. I gave a hug to each of the 69 Eyes, and walked out the same door Jess had gone out. I got into my car and headed straight for our apartment.

Once home I went upstairs to my room and started picking out something to wear, I decided on a black dress that went to my knees and black high heels.

Jess came home about half an hour later and did my hair and make-up for me, I was excited, and nervous, I didn’t want to do anything I would regret later. Jussi was a nice guy, and he seemed to like me a lot, I didn’t want to hurt him.

Jess wished me luck on my date with Jussi, I was nervous, but also excited. Jess walked me to the studio and as promised Jussi was waiting for me outside. I smiled and thanked Jess and she started walking away. I smiled at Jussi, who smiled back

“Hey” he said, almost nervously his hands in his pockets of the black pants he was currently wearing, with a nice button up shirt to match, his hair was the same as always, spikey and messy, but it was good on him.

“Hi” I said trying to smooth out the expensive dress I brought last year, but had never worn until now. Jussi took one of his hands out of his pocket and offered it to me, I smiled and took his hand, “So where are we going?” I said quietly careful not to disturb the silence around us.

“We are going to go to a small restraunt down the road from here, and then I thought we could take a walk to a park Bam showed us when we first came here” he smiled and I smiled back, but then looked down when I felt my cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink.

We walked hand-in-hand to the restraunt, once there Jussi walked up to the Service Desk and asked for the table he booked. I smiled when his hand met mine again and he gripped it tightly. The waitress led us to our table and got us seated; I learned her name was Veronica, and that she was going to be our waitress for the rest of the night. She gave us our menus and asked what we wanted to drink

“Can we have your best bottle of wine?” Jussi questioned her while looking at me; I nodded, thinking to myself ‘I will only have one drink’ Veronica brought the wine over and poured us each a glass, we smiled and thanked her after telling her what we wanted to order.

“So, is this going to be your first album recorded in America?” I asked, making small talk to hide the silence

“Yeah, we are pretty excited about it, America is known for its music, and has lots of famous musicians,” he replied, his accent coming threw his words, making it sound adorable.

“Sweet, well you guys make some pretty awesome music so, you guys should do really well,” I smiled as our meals were brought over, we thanked Veronica and ate music played freely in the background. But not the sort of music we liked. But it suited the restraunt.

After we had eaten, after a lot of arguing and insisting, Jussi paid which I felt a little bad for. Jussi took my hand and led towards the park he had been talking about. We were talking about little things that interested us, getting to know each other better. We got to the park, and I led Jussi over to a set of swings, I sat on one and he sat on the other.

“Your turn” I said smiling at him, we had started a little game between us, I would ask Jussi a question and he would answer, and visa versa.

“Umm… what’s your favourite colour?” he asked

“It’s got to be dark purple, red or dark blue” I smiled. “Or all three of them together” I smiled again.

“Really? I like red.” He smiled at me “Your turn”

“Um… who was the person you lost ‘it’ to?” I asked making it a little bit more personal

“Pfft, I can’t remember back that far” he laughed “How about you can you remember?” he asked looking at me seeming interested

“Yeah, I was with my first boyfriend, he treated me really badly though, he wasn’t gentle, he was rough, and only in it for himself, and umm… he got me pregnant afterwards, but I had an abortion” I said quietly, silence filled the air and it became slightly awkward.

“I’m sorry” he said quietly

“It’s not your fault Hun, besides, I’m over that crap now anyway, and it was a mistake. He was a mistake.” I said.

“Well, I think I should get you home don’t you think?” he asked

“What if I don’t want to go home yet?” I asked quietly looking at the ground

“Well, we can walk around for a while, then I have to take you home, because I know for a fact that you are expected in the studio tomorrow at early hours of the morning.” He smiled

“Okay” I said and he took my hand, we walked around the block before stopping outside the apartment Jessica and I shared. Jussi wrapped his arms around my waist, resting them there. My arms went around his neck and he leaned in slowly, his eyes quickly looked down and glanced at my lips. I knew what was coming next, so I smiled. I beat him to it, his lips met mine in a soft, gentle kiss. It was unlike any other kiss I had ever received. Jussi’s kiss compared to all the others was so soft, and caring, as apposed to the rough, horny kisses from the other guys I had kissed. I forced myself to pull away from the kiss, I didn’t want to rush things. I didn’t want things to turn out like they always did when I met a guy.

“Goodnight Jussi” I whispered

“Goodnight Jane” he said quietly giving me one more peck on my lips and unwrapped his arms from my waist and started walking away. I stood outside the door until he had disappeared, and I knew two things for sure, I couldn’t wait to tell Jessica what had happened. And I couldn’t wait for tomorrow, to see Jussi again.