Back, Bad, And Dressed In Black

By the time the school day was over, I was worn out with too many emotions rushing through my head. All I wanted to do was change clothes and collapse on my bed. Homework could wait, all the texts and calls could wait, and everything would just have to wait.
I headed to my room right away, ignoring my mother and father’s questions on my school day. It was something I didn’t feel the need to tell them. I changed into sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt before just falling on my bed.
Truth be told, all the stares and whispers and mean words had gotten to me. They’d soaked into my mind and just embedded themselves into my head. I hated it. Nothing should have been getting to, but it was. This wasn’t the person I wanted to be. I wasn’t the strong person that was trying to just give a big “fuck you” to my high school. But that wasn’t me either. I was just that person stuck in between two different personalities.
The only girl that had actually been somewhat nice to me was that blond bimbo that was the “mean girl”. During lunch she found me in the bathroom with mascara running down my eyes and she gave me a pep talk. She really wasn’t all that bad but I was trying to keep up my heartless front.
I sighed, turning to my side to grab a teddy bear and hold him closely. It was the only thing that made me feel like real human yet without memories of anything. The teddy bear from my childhood made me forget everything that had happened, everything I should be ashamed of. I just let the moment overtake me and the soft, silent tears drip down my face.
My phone vibrated from my backpack and just kept vibrating. Someone was calling even though everyone I knew hated me. I picked myself up and went over to my smartphone. The caller I.D said that Quinn was calling but I didn’t believe it.
“Hello?” I asked cautiously, a finger ready to press the ‘end’ button.
“Don’t press that end button, it’s me.” Quinn greeted from the other end. It amazed me how well he still knew me.
“What do you want? You hate me, you asshole.” I snapped.
“Don’t tell me how I feel, bitch.” Quinn growled and instantly tears pricked my eyes, he’d never called me a bitch before. “Sorry, that was a little over the top.”
“It’s okay,” I sniffled, “I deserve it.”
“Yeah I know, but that’s not me.”
I smiled slightly at the statement. Quinn hadn’t changed from the nice, funny boy he’d been when I was in school and he was my best friend. That was what I wanted to hear; needless to say I was overjoyed. Maybe he’d give me a second chance!
“So seriously, what do you need or want?” I asked him.
“Let’s meet somewhere, talk out everything. Amber, there’s already rumors going around but I want the truth. The complete truth.”
I sighed. “Only for you, Quinn.”
“Alright, ten minutes at the Coffee House. The deserted one, not the one that’s always full of stoners and rejects.” Quinn told me.
“See you.” I waited for him to hang up.
This was a start. Not exactly what I wanted to have happen, but it was a start and I couldn’t afford to be picky. One friend at a time I would take this until I had everyone back. It was a goal I would have to work hard for, but I was determined.
Quinn Sanders was my main goal though. I would jump through hoops of fire to get us back the way we were. The two best friends that were never apart. We would be inseparable except for when I had to destroy someone who just needed to be destroyed.
I got up and changed quickly back into the clothes I’d worn to school. I put my phone in a small Burberry purse before running downstairs. “Mom, I’m going out to the Coffee House!” I picked up the keys to the Ford.
“Alright sweetie, be back at a reasonable time.”
“Obviously!” I called back before going into the garage.
Time to get my Quinn back!
I drove out of the garage and down the road out of my neighborhood. I took a left driving toward the Coffee House. There weren’t too many cars there, but there was one in particular that I recognized. It matched the car I was driving right down to the tire brand. A smile couldn’t keep itself off my face. I parked next to it and then practically ran into the Coffee House.
“Hey Amber,” Quinn smiled from a booth.
There were two cups sitting in front of him. He had a spoon in his, probably from stirring the sugar and milk into his basic, black coffee. The other was for me, a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and extra marshmallows and chocolate syrup.
“Hey Quinn,” I smiled taking a seat across from him.
“Your hot chocolate, extra everything.” He pushed it closer to me, his green eyes focused completely on me.
“Thank you, Quinn.” I smiled at him before taking a sip.
It tasted like chocolatey memories of Quinn and I and our midnight runs to the Coffee House just to smoke a joint or two, possibly do a bit of meth and then sober up with coffee. We would sometimes sneak out some flasks of alcohol and just do shots until we were so drunk we couldn’t even count to one.
“Why are you back? Don’t play games with me, Amber, just tell me straight-up why you came back to high school.”
I was going to sound so pathetic. “I was hoping that everyone would forgive me. Like, this silent-everything’s-gonna-work-out head nod kind of thing, instead I got stares and whispers. It hurt, Quinn, it hurt a lot, but I think it hurt mostly because I wasn’t expecting it.” I paused and wiped away tears threatening to fall from my brown eyes. “Jesus, I can’t believe I’m getting worked up.” Quinn looked somewhat sympathetic for me. Sympathy wasn’t I wanted. “At lunch I saw my two old best friends and they were so far gone. Ashley had bleached blond hair and it curly and then I realized she’d fallen into the cheerleader crowd. When I saw Annie, my God, she had piercings and piercing and more piercings and she wore these black skinnies with this black band shirt with some stupid band slogan on it. That’s when it hit me, Quinn, that’s when I knew nothing would just snap back into place. This is something I would have to work for. That’s not what I was expecting. I came back because I wanted my old friends back and I wanted you back and I wanted to be that bitch you couldn’t help but love and I wanted the social interactions and I just wanted my senior year to be spectacular. Like a movie almost, you know. That’s not what I’m getting though.” I couldn’t meet his eyes so I focused on the hot chocolate.
“Well, you certainly are going to be part of a movie, just not the movie you want. The teenage-high-school-sucks-drama movie is what you’ve entered.” Quinn smirked and that’s when I knew I had him.
“Does this mean we’re friends again?” I asked not able to hide the edge of excitement in my voice.
“I guess, yeah, I do miss having the queen bitch as my friend.” Quinn smiled taking a sip of his coffee.
“I’m not a queen anymore.” I reminded him my spirits falling again.
“Not yet, at least. I’ll help you, I do love you.”
My spirits rose again. “Thanks Quinn, I love you too.”
Our friendship was back. This just gave me hope. Maybe I could get back Ashley and Annie too. Maybe they weren’t too far gone, they had to remember who they were. They were the two girls that could give anyone an insult with just a basic question like “How’s the weather?” It was a talent that they possessed which is why they were my friends. They weren’t preppy cheerleaders or gloomy Goths, they were the mean girls.
“Do you think I could get back Ashley and Annie too?” I asked with eagerness that couldn’t be hidden.
“You have to be determined, persistent, and prepared to work for it.”
“I was ready to do all that for you.”
“You can’t give up.” Quinn continued.
“Bring it on.” I smirked confidently.
Quinn got out of the booth and offered me his hand. I took it and he helped me up. We were done here for however long.
“I think you can get them back.” Quinn told me when we were exiting the Coffee House.
We walked in silence to our cars. Quinn took my forearm when I was ready to make off to my Ford.
“Just one thing with our friendship.”
“Sure, anything.” I shrugged.
“Don’t talk to me at school or make any interaction with me.” My smiled faded like a ghost. “I can’t have people know we’re friends.”