Shattered Secrets

"That was amazing!" Mandi gushed once we pulled into the driveway, "Right when we got there I just saw the band but after spending time with them they became just people!" She raved, her eyes wide and excited.

I nodded. "They've always just been five guys that I look up to, Mands. That's the best kind of musician, people you can see yourself with," I told her, my voice low and calm, but with an undertone of eagerness that had been there all day.

Mandi sat with a blank gaze obviously off in her own reverie. I glanced back at Bronx in the mirror and nodded with approval as he slept soundly in his car-seat where Mandi and Brian had put him.

I got out of the car and Mandi followed, lingering in the drive as I pulled my son from the car. "I'll be going," she murmured with a smile on her face, "I miss my bed. Your couch is brutal."

I giggled quietly, "I know, that's why you slept there and not me." I laughed while she pouted and unlocked her car. She hopped in as I began walking up my driveway towards the front door.

She rolled down her window and called out to me, "Thanks for letting me go! It was amazing."

I just grinned and continued to the front door with a wave, unsure of how else I could agree with her. Bronx stirred in my arms as I shuffled him to one arm and jammed the key in the hole to unlock the door. I dropped my keys to the floor and took my shoes off as well. I slid Bronx's shoes off of his feet, they hit the floor with a thud.

I grunted quietly as I hauled him up the stairs, flipping lights on as I went up and then down the hallway. Bronx's hair was flattened as I cradled his head between my shoulder and my hand. I walked through the entry way to his room and smiled at his little bed. I laid him down gently, watching as he squirmed and then curled up like a baby, that he really wasn't anymore.

The clock next to his bed said 7:19. I pulled Bronx's jacket off of him as he woke from the movement and sent me a lazy smile. "Are we home, Mommy?" he asked, taking in his surroundings and then putting a stubborn pout on his face.

I chuckled slightly and nodded. "Yeah, baby. Just got home," I murmured, pulling his sand infested socks off of his feet.

"I didn't get to say goodbye!" Bronx whined throwing his head back with disappointed and wincing as it hit his pillow roughly.

I shrugged. "I'm sorry baby." I told him softly, "but I'm sure we'll see them again."

His eyes fluttered closed as he pulled his blankets over himself. He snuggled into them and then looked up at me with watery brown eyes that were the same color as my own.

"Since you're up, come eat before you go back to sleep," I told him, reaching down to wipe fallen strands of blonde hair from his face. I sighed and bit my tongue as Brian's words flashed through my mind.

Even though Brian and the guys promised to come to his birthday I couldn't be certain that something more important might not jump out and claim the guys' time and attention. So I didn't mention it to Bronx as I backed out of his room. Once I was in the hallway I turned and made my way towards the kitchen with Bronx following right on my heels.

"What do you want to eat?" I questioned, peaking over my shoulder at the young boy who was following behind me in a tired daze.

"Panda," he grumbled, making his way down the stairs.

I rolled my eyes at the name of my favorite Chinese Food place and hoisted him up on to a kitchen chair.

"Something I can make in this kitchen, Bronx," I classified, shuffling over to the fridge and opening it up. "How about chicken and mashed-potatos?" I questioned, pulling the things need out of the fridge and laying them down onto the counter.

He shrugged. "Okay." And situated himself in the chair so he'd be more comfortable.

When everything was finished and on plates in front of us, ready to be scarfed down the house phone began to ring from on one of the tables in the living room. "Mm," I murmured, trying to swallow the food in my mouth quickly, "I'll get it." I walked off towards the living room as Bronx nodded and took another bite of his potatoes.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone.
"Nissa?" the voice asked, "I've been trying to get ahold of you all day!"

I sighed. "Sorry Greg, I've been busy."

"Yeah I know," he said shortly, reminding me of our fight earlier this morning. Usually, the rare fights that we have are forgotten by later on, but Greg seemed to be holding onto this one tightly.

"How do you know that?" I questioned, my voice dropping so that Bronx wouldn't realize that we were still fighting.

I heard Greg scoff on the other line. "It's all over the internet. Since Avenged Sevenfold's new album came out they hit the headlines within hours of doing something!"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not!" Greg defended, "Apparently some kids down at the pier took pictures of you and the band and now they're all over the internet. Online news papers have already written up articles about you and Bronx!"

I sighed at the fact that I knew he was telling the truth. "Bronx, I'll be right back!" I called as I took the stairs two at a time. I walked into my bedroom and over to my laptop. "Got a name of a website for me, Greg?" I asked coldly, my voice dead-serious.

He rambled off the name of a local newspaper website as I typed it in. I went to the recent news section, following Greg's instruction and there, halfway down the page was a picture of Bronx running through the sand with Brian and Johnny close behind him. Matt, Manda, Zacky, and I stood in a huddle on the far right of the picture, smiles on our faces and laughter spouting from our lips.

Below that was another picture. This was from when Brian had cornered me with Zacky. Brian's arms were around me, his font to my back as he shouted in laughter, me doing the same. Zacky stood with his back to the photo but you could see Bronx in his arms with a grin on his face.

There was one more. But it wasn't the picture that caught my attention, it was the caption that had my eyes growing wide and a slight gasp escaping from my lips. The picture was taken when Brian kissed my cheek. When he reassured me that he and the guys would be at Bronx's party. In the photo Amanda was leaning into the car and strapping Bronx in. Brian had one hand, his left, on the hood of the car and the other on my hip. Something I had failed to notice at the actual time because of the fact that I was too occupied with his lips as they touched my cheek.

"Brian 'Synyster Gates' Haner Jr., seen here, kissing a young woman goodbye after carrying her sleeping child to the car." I read aloud, listening as Greg clicked his tongue with anger. I bit my bottom lip as I thought about the harmless kiss goodbye.

"That's why I didn't want you calling him, Nissa. He has his hands on every beautiful woman he sees."

This time it was I who scoffed, "Be quiet, Greg, you don't even know him."

"Oh!" Greg shouted, "Now you're defending him? I'm looking right at the proof on my computer screen! That's you isn't it? That's you Synyster Gates is kissing, is it not?"

"Oh grow up!" I shouted, "He kissed me goodbye! So what!" I sighed in anger, letting out a quick breath of hot air as I raked my fingers through my hair. Greg was quiet for a moment before I heard him sigh as well.

"Nissa," he murmured, "I don't want to fight with you, but you went out with after I told you not to even call him. How can I trust you?" he asked, his voice disappointed.

I rolled my eyes to myself. I wasn't buying into his shit, I wasn't going to be the girl that stopping doing things she wanted to do because her 'man' didn't want her to. I scoffed before I replied to Greg, "I'm not a child," I told him, my voice was strong, "I'm a grown woman. I have a son. I can talk to and hang out with who ever I want, Greg. If you're going to tell me who I can't talk to, you're not allowed to be angry when I don't listen, understood? That's not the kind of example I'm going to set for my son."

Greg sighed once again, "Nissa, it's not that easy. You can't go around making friends with cocky rockstars, I can't live up to that."

"I don't expect you to," I murmured, knowing that he would get upset.

"God, Nissa!" he yelled, "I can't do this. You're not to hang out with him!"

My eyes grew wide with anger as he said that. "Oh no. Don't you even dare tell me what to do! You're my boyfriend, not my father. And I'm not even sure I want that anymore!"

"Then end it, Nissa! End what we have."

"Fine!" I shouted, letting anger get the best of me, "It's over. We're over. I don't need you, Greg!"

With that I hung up the phone quickly. I slammed it down onto my bed as my body shook with anger. I screeched loudly, angry tears hitting my cheeks. That's not the example I would set for my son and it wasn't the type of person I'd allow myself to be, but I didn't mean for it end like that.