Shattered Secrets

I thought about how quickly the morning flew by on my drive back into Huntington to pick up Bronx from half day kindergarden. They were no longer replaying the Avenged interview, but I was okay with that. I needed some of my own space for a moment anyway.

I focused purely on driving. Not wanting to really waste my energy thinking about other things. I smiled when I pulled up to the school building and since I was running a few minutes late Bronx was already standing outside with his teacher and the other classes and kids.

I parked the car and made my way up to Bronx. When he saw me he didn't rush up to me, he just stood there with his hand clasped with his teacher's.

"Hey babes," I greeted walking up to stand in front of him and his teacher, Mrs. Adams.

Bronx pulled away from her hand and reached up to hug me. I pulled him into my arms and he wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs wrapped around me as well. I smiled at his teacher and she offered a tight lipped smile in return.

I nodded and turned to go, Bronx still holding onto me like he used to when he was little.

Eventually we were in the car on our way home and Bronx was still sitting there quieter than I had ever heard from him. I frowned but didn't ask him about it on the way home. When we got home he unbuckled himself and I opened the back door. He jumped up and wrapped himself around me catching me off guard.

He giggled and held on tighter as I carried him and his backpack from the car to the house.

When we were inside Bronx ran off to play with his toys and I stared after him, slightly freaked out. "Bronx," I called from the entryway. He looked up from his spot on the floor next to his toy box.

"Yeah Mommy?" He questioned, smiling up at me.

"How was school?" I asked, a smile coming onto my own face.

Bronx shrugged and looked away. "It was okay."

Then my smile dropped and I walked over to him. I reached down and picked him up, making rocket ship noises the whole way back to the couch. His laughter died down when I put him on the couch and tossed myself down beside him. "What happened at school today, babes?" I reached out to tickle his stomach.

He giggled and then pushed my hand away. "My teacher got mad because I said that Brian was my friend."

I looked at his disappointed face. "Why would she get mad, baby?" I questioned as I hoisted him onto my lap.

Bronx shrugged again. "I don't know."

"Me either," I concluded, laying back with the little boy on top of me, "But Nana and Papa want to have your birthday party down at their house. What do you think about that?"

Bronx mumbled something incoherent and then shook his head. "Will Brian be able to come to Nana's?" he questioned, his big brown eyes wide.

I shrugged, knowing that both of my parents were very open minded people. "I don't see why not."

Bronx grinned at me and I tapped my cheek twice. He leaned forward and placed a sloppy kiss there, causing me to groan and wipe off the excess saliva as Bronx laughed loudly.

"So," I murmured after I collected myself, "Nana and Papa's, it is?"

Bronx shouted, "Yeah!" and nodded his head animatedly.

"Great." I grinned before I pulled Bronx up and flipped us around so that he was under me, partially, before I began to tickle him.

His screeching laughter filled the room causing a gigantic grin to appear on my face. I tickled him until he screamed that he was going to pee himself and then I let his go so that he could rush up the stairs and relief himself. I laid back down on the couch so that I could catch my breath and I pulled the blue quilt from where we had knocked it to the floor. It was the same blanket that we had used when we watched movies with Brian. The same blanket that Bronx and I used when we first watched the Avenged Sevenfold: All Excess DVD when meeting the guys was the first thing bubbling in my imagination.

I grinned to myself and reached for the phone on the coffee table. I dialed my parent's number and grinned when my mother's voice floated through the line.

"Hi Mom!" I greeted happily, having not talked to my mom in a long time.

"Hello Nissa, what do I owe this call?" she asked slightly sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes before I replied, "Actually, Dad said that you guys wanted to have Bronx's party at your place?"

"Of course, Darling! That'd be wonderful!" my mother replied, a smile in her voice.

I grinned ever wider, if that was possible and nodded to myself. "Next Saturday, then?" I questioned, nodded at Bronx as he came back down the stairs. "Go wash your hands," I murmured, watching as he sighed and pivoted before marching back up the stairs.

"Do you want me to plan it out, hun? Who's all coming? Just the family or are you inviting any of Bronx's little friends?" my mom rambled excitedly.

"Mom, relax. You can plan it. It'll be mostly family but I'm inviting some friends of mine."

My mother made a noise of acknowledgement and then answered, "What friends, hun?"

I smiled to myself. "Just some friends. About four of them." I shrugged. "But I don't know who'll be able to make it, for sure yet. So I'll have to get back to you on that. But I know at least one extra person is coming."

"Okay hun. I have to let you go now, though. The Mary Johnson from down the street, you remember her, is coming over for lunch today."

I nodded to myself. "Alright, talk to you later, Mom." We both said 'goodbye' one last time before I hung up the phone and grinned at Bronx who was coming down the stairs, wiping his wet hands on his t'shirt.

"Nana is going to start planning your birthday party!" I told him, making him stop walking over to his toy chest.

"Really?" he questioned loudly, running over and hopping up onto the couch.

"Yup!" I said, "I just got off the phone with her! Nana is really excited too."

"Are Avenged Sevenfold coming? They said they would!" he asked, looking at me with huge brown eyes. I reached forward and pushed pieced of his hair back into his mohawk.

"As far as I know, the guys are coming, babes. But I'll double check with Brian next time I see him." I murmured, running my finger tips over Bronx's left cheek. Bronx leaned into my hand and grinned at me.

"When is Brian coming over?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, babes. He was busy today so I haven't been able to talk to him."

Bronx slouched back onto the couch and asked, "Can I call him?"

I glanced at the phone which was still in my hands and then I looked back up to the hopeful looking little boy. "Not right now," I said uneasily, "Brian probably wants to spend sometime with his family today."

Bronx crossed his arms over his chest defiantly, put a pout on his face and glared at me. He sat there quiet for a few minutes, oblivious to me trying not to laugh at how cute he looked before I finally stood up and picked him up. "Don't pout," I murmured, "Because boys who pout get to sit in the corner." I carried him over to the farthest corner of the room near his toy box and plopped him down.

He kept his glare even when I began to walk back over to the couch. He turned so that he wasn't facing the wall anymore. He just stared at me and I kept the smirk from being too noticeable on my face.

I watched T.V by myself for a little while as Bronx shuffled around where he sat.

"Put the toy back." I demanded as Bronx pulled one of his Tonka Trucks from the red and blue toy bin.
Bronx huffed and let the big truck drop back into the box. Then Bronx whined, "I'm bored."

I shrugged. "Stop being pouty," I murmured, "Then you can play with your toys."

"I want to call Brian!" he whined, smacking his palms on the floor.

I groaned loudly. "No."

Brian smacked the floor again. "Why not?"

"Because I said so," I murmured, shuttering at the fact that I had just used that phrase.

"That's not a reason!" Bronx shouted unhappily.

I shrugged, knowing that I couldn't tell him that I was nervous to face Brian after the night before. I couldn't explain to my grouchy four year old that I slept with an engaged man when I told his fiancee that I wasn't that type of person.

"Babes, we're not going to hang out with Brian anymore," I stated, standing up from the couch.

Bronx turned to look at me, shocked. "What?" he inquired quickly.

I nodded my head, and repeated myself, "We're not going to see Brian anymore."

Bronx jumped up and raced over to me. He wrapped himself around my legs and squeezed. "Please Mommy. Don't make Brian not talk to us anymore."

I silently murmured to myself and pulled Bronx up into my arms. When the little boy snuggled into my neck I was close to telling him that I was just kidding but then the thought of of Michelle popped into my head. When she was yelling at Brian for bring a girl back to the bus and I thought that she was so obnoxious but now I realize that she had every reason to be insecure and angry.

"I'm sorry, Bronx. But it's for the best."

"No Mommy, no," Bronx cried, holding up tighter as moisture hit my neck.

I stayed quiet as I wondered up the stairs and into my bedroom. Bronx and I put a movie in and we played with his Transformers while sitting cross-legged on the bed. He wasn't happy about my decision, and I didn't know how permanent it was, but telling my son made it harder to go back on. I didn't want to jerk him around, but somehow telling Bronx made it seem more real.