Shattered Secrets

Everyone followed me back to my place in their own cars and stayed for a couple of hours. They did help me carry Bronx's things in and we sat around the living room talking about music and movies. We talked about what I did for a living and Brian asked questions like he didn't know anything about me. Michelle sat on his lap the whole time, a smile on her face as she stared at Bronx as he raced around the living room with Johnny and Maggie. They were playing with Bronx's new laser gun set.

"He's so cute," Michelle gushed, running her fingers through her blonde hair, "I just can't get over it."

I smiled and thanked her, eyes darting to my boy. "Do you plan on having kids?" I asked, keeping my eyes far from Brian's cautious ones.

Michelle glanced away as she shook her head. "They aren't really for me," she answered, hands in her lap, "I think they're cute, but I'm better off letting other people raise them."

I nodded, watching Brian's stoic expression. "They aren't for everyone," I agreed, "That's for sure." Bronx seemed to make my point. He jumped from a few steps up and landed on Johnny, who yelled over dramatically and fell to the ground with my son on top of him.

"What about you Val?" I questioned, grinning easily at the married couple. Val sat on the edge of the couch and Matt was positioned on the floor, leaning back against her legs.

Val pushed her fingers through his short hair and nodded. "Yeah, we want to have them someday," she answered, her finger's finding Matt's on his shoulder.

"Soon," Matt added, chuckling as everyone else did too.

"Are you going to have anymore kids?" Michelle asked. The friendly smile on her face made me feel guilty and I pushed it away as I shrugged.

"I'd like to. But I don't know if I'll find the right guy. I mean, who wants to date a woman who already has a five year old? Plus, I don't want Bronx to be too much older than his younger sibling, I was eight when my youngest sibling was born."

Valary shifted and then questioned, "I thought you had a fiancee? Doesn't he want children?"

I nodded. "He did," I said, crossing my arms over my stomach, "But we decided to end things a little less than a month ago. We were at two different places in our lives."

"Oh," Val murmured, smiling at me sadly. "Sorry."

I shrugged as Manda sent me a look, knowing the real reason.

Zacky shook his head, piping up from next to me on the floor. "If you don't mind me asking... what happened?"

I shrugged again and leaned back against the couch. "He just wasn't right for me. We didn't fit. My entire life is centered around my son and it's hard for people to accept that, I guess."

"And he was a jackass," Maggie joked innocently.

Brian stared at me intently as I spoke, his brown eyes were swimming with cockiness and the truth. His eyes were unguarded as a small smirk-like smile rested on his lips as he watched every move I made as I shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore the nervous pain in my back. I looked away from him and to Bronx as he screeched and raced over to where I sat across from Brian and Michelle.

"Baby," I groaned as he tossed himself down onto me, slamming me against the wooden piece on the arm rest and worsening the pain in my lower back as I fought to hold myself up right.

"Sorry, mommy! But Johnny was after me!" he screeched, turning around and sitting in my lap with the glare on his face pointed at Johnny who sat down next to Val and Matt, Maggie following his lead.

"Okay, well, relax," I told him, wrapping my arms around his waist so that he'd stop fidgeting.

"Sorry," he murmured, leaning back into me. I leaned back on my hands, trying to get comfortable with his weight on me. He leaned back into me, his head on my shoulder, and sat quietly as he listened to everyone talk.

My phone started ringing on the coffee table, the chorus to 'Welcome To The Family' interrupting Matt's words, and everyone chuckled at my obsessive fan-ness. I patted Bronx's leg and asked him to hop up and get my phone.

I hit the talk button on the touch screen as Bronx plopped himself back down in my lap. "Hello?" I questioned, not recognizing the number that had appeared on the caller ID. The guys began making faces at Bronx, silently. Making the five year old burst out into laughter as I tried not to laugh.

"Nissa?" my brother asked, the sound of his voice surprising me.

I sat up straight, shifting my boy in my lap, and covered my ear with my other hand, trying to hear the quiet boy through the noise. "Juliann? What's going on?"

"Please don't tell mom and dad, they'll kill me. Please!" he begged, his voice strained and scared.

"JJ, what's going on?" I demanded frantically. The others had caught on that something was wrong and they noticeably quieted.

"I'm in trouble, Nissa. I'm in jail."

I was stunned into cursing. "Fuck, Juliann, what did you do this time?" I asked, outraged that my 16 year old brother was getting into more and more trouble every day. "How could you do this again, Jules? I can't believe you."

"...Niss, please just come get me. I'll pay you back, please," he begged and then murmured something to someone, "I have to go, Nissa. But please come get me."

The line clicked and all I heard was the dial tone. I slammed my phone down onto the floor and groaned out of frustration and anger. When I looked up, everyone was looking at me.

"What's wrong, Mommy?" Bronx questioned, twisting around to wrap his arms around my neck.

"Jules is in trouble again, Babes," I answered, wrapping my arm around his waist as I stood up with him, "We've got to go get him." I set him on his feet and pushed him towards the door. "Please get your shoes and coat on, Bronx."

The little boy paused and looked at me, lingering at the edge of the couch near Brian and Michelle. "Why's he in trouble?" he asked, turning around to lean on the arm rest, "Do I have to come? I don't like it."

I sighed in frustration and gave him a look, asking him not to fight with me now. He lingered at the edge of the couch, fingers pinching the sleeve of Brian's jacket. "I don't want to go," he said, "It's my birthday and you always get mad when we save Juliann. And we always have to spend our money."

"We'll work it out," I promised sternly, "Just go put your shoes on."

I turned to everyone else when he reluctantly slid off the couch and sauntered over to the doorway. "I'm sorry," I said, meeting brown eyes first, "I've got to bail my brother out of jail. I'll make it up for kicking you all out, I promise." I offered them the best smile I could manage.

Everyone started to get up and Manda moved to to me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and told me that it would be alright. She knew that this wasn't the first time, and neither of us thought it'd be the last.

"I just don't know how much money this boy thinks I have," I answered back, upset and frustrated, "It's not like I have much to just throw away on him when he fucks up."

"I'm sure it's not going to be much," Amanda answered, arm still around my shoulders, "You should call your parents, they'll help you out."

I shook my head. "They said that they won't bail him out anymore. That he's fifteen and needs to grow up. The last time he called them, they called me and explain that they were done. It's up to me to straighten him out."

I was in a state of shock as everyone pulled their coats and shoes on near the door. I stood behind my couch with my arms crossed and my heel bouncing against the floor. I didn't know if they'd release him to me this time, but they knew me well enough to know who I was.

"Your too worked up to drive, Niss," Brian said as he walked over. He held my son in his arms and Bronx looked just as upset as I felt.

"I can't just leave him there," I stated, grabbing my keys off of the coffee table as everyone shuffled to the door, caught up in their own conversations.

Brian sighed and shuffled Bronx in his arms. He was looking out for my boy again, and Bronx was calmed by just being in his arms. "Then let me drive you there," Brian suggested, dark eyes peering at me over the three foot gap between us.

"You can't do that," I said, my eyes darting over his shoulder to his fiancee, "You have your responsibilities and I have mine. You have to leave with yours, Bri."

Brian looked back to where I had and then leaned forward to give Bronx back to me with a nod. I thought he listened to me, but instead he walked over to his friends and spoke quietly. I knew I was the topic of the conversation by the way their eyes flicked to me, and by the way Michelle's never left.

"I'll see you later," Brian said to Michelle as his friends called their goodbyes. I couldn't take my eyes off of the man as he leaned down and kissed her. Her fingers touched the ends of his hair and she stepped back to the door when they pulled away.

"Nice to see you again, Nissa," she said as Brian led her out, "I hope everything ends up okay."

I just smiled in return and held Bronx as Brian opened and closed the door with her on the other side. When he turned around, I could see the apology in his eyes, and I'm sure he could read mine too.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, crossing the space between us, "I-"

"You don't have to explain," I answered, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth as I turned away from him, towards the stairs, and set Bronx on his feet. "Go get your jacket on, babes," I told him, and he climbed the stairs.

It was awkward when it was just the two of us and I couldn't push the image of him and Michelle from my head. They said goodbye like a normal couple could, in front of all of their friends, and in front of the woman he'd been sleeping with for a month.

Bri stepped up to me without a word and pushed his mouth against mine without lifting his hands from his sides. He wasn't gentle or careful, but he kissed me, and I loved it. With Michelle, he had been soft, like he had to think about it and consider every move he made, but his mouth clashed with mine as though it took no effort at all.

He lifted his lips from mine and I could feel him smiling. "Better," he whispered, eyes opening, "Much better."