Shattered Secrets

Brian and I laid in my bed an hour later. Brian was silent as he laid next to me with his arm around my shoulders. At that moment, I wished that I could hear his thoughts because I was desperate to know what it was that seemed to be plaguing his mind.

"What are you thinking about?" I blurted, running my fingers over his long sleeved black shirt.

"Your family," he answered easily, his fingers toying with my hair.

I turned around to better look at him. "What about my family?"

He shrugged under me. "You don't look like Juliann or your parents."

I bit my lip and closed my eyes, relieved that he didn't think that my family was insane or anything. "Juliann and Isaias are my half-brothers and my mom is actually my step-mom," I told him, tugging on his shirt comfortably.

"Oh," Brian murmured, not sure of what else he could say. "Where's your mom?"

"She died when I was born," I answered, not really able to be sad because I had never known her and couldn't really remember anything about her except for the that my father had told me.

"I'm sorry," Brian whispered, leaning down to kiss my forehead gently.

"Don't be," I answered, "It was a long time ago. I didn't even know her," I told him, dropping my chin to his chest, "My dad remarried when I was six, and not too long after that Isaias was born and then Juliann. So I never missed out on anything."

Brian nodded, his hair being ruffled by the satin sheet that covered the pillow.

I broke the silence first. "What about your family, Bri? Tell me about them."

Brian chuckled at the thought of his. "My dad and my mom are divorced, I have an older brother named Brent and two step siblings, one on my dad's side and one on my mom's. My dad remarried and I got a step-mom named Suzy, and my dad had a daughter with her, McKenna. My mom remarried too and I have a younger brother named Johnny on her side."

Brian's fingers tangled in my hair as I thought about his family. How his family wasn't too different from mine at all. I propped myself up on my elbow as it rested on Brian's chest. I paid attention to the pain in my back as I leaned in and pressed my lips against Brian's. My torso rested on his as he deepened the kiss, pulling me closer to him. My mind could only think about Brian as I let my fingers disappear under his shirt. The T.V that was playing in the back ground faded away as I pulled away to slip Brian's shirt over his head. Our lips then reconnected as my fingers ran over his bare skin, tracing his tattoos.

I pulled away suddenly as a loud clash sounded from outside my bedroom. I stared at the door apprehensively as Brian sat up quickly and pulled his shirt over his head. "Stay here," Brian commanded, leaning down to peck my lips as he sauntered out of bed.

"Bri baby," I chuckled at his seriousness, "It's just my brother being a little jerk," I joked, hopping out of bed and wandering past him. I pulled open my bedroom door, ignoring Brian as he told me not to.
I peered down the stairs and rolled my eyes as my brother's figure disappeared back into the living room.

I turned back to Brian. "It's just Juliann," I told him, laughing as he relaxed. "I'm going to go see what he wants," I told Brian before kissing his lips, "I'll be right back."

I hurried down the stairs and glared when I saw my brother laying innocently on the couch, stuffing his face with honey barbecue chips and watching T.V like it was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen.
I picked his feet up and tossed myself down in there place. Juliann glared at me and put his feet on my lap.

"What do you want, Jules?" I questioned, pushing his feet to the floor.

He shrugged. "I don't want anything. What do you want?" he asked, popping another chip into his mouth.

"Why were you up stairs, Juliann?"

He shrugged. "I had to pee."
I rolled my eyes. "Just a hint, next time you try to spy on me, try to be quiet."

Juliann grinned while still looking at the T.V. "I'll consider it."

I chuckled and leaned down to kiss his forehead before I ruffled his hair and hopped back up the stairs. I went into Bronx's room to check on him. He was laying in his bed, his arms strewn around his head and his hair matted to his forehead. I smiled to myself before I backed out of the room and shut the door. When I wandered into my room I smiled at Brian who was laying on my bed watching T.V.

"Just Juliann being annoying," I sighed with a roll of my eyes. I climbed back into bed beside him and practically fell into his arms.

Brian chuckled. "That could get annoying."

I nodded, smiling lightly. "Yeah, but I love the kid. I might even let him come stay with me for awhile."

Brian made a strange noise before he looked to me, shocked. "What do you mean? Like actually live with you for awhile?"

I nodded with a shrug. "Yeah. Our parents are always busy and stuff and I figured that if he moves out here for a little while that he'll stop getting in trouble and stuff."

Brian sighed but nodded his head, "Yeah but I mean, you've already got one kid do you really want another one to take care of? Plus, where would he sleep?"

I bit my lip and rested my cheek back on Brian's warm chest as I shrugged against him. "I don't know, Bri. I really hadn't though about it that much. It's not really a big deal." I spanned my fingers out against his stomach.

Brian tone changed slightly at the touch. "You're an amazing person," he murmured, fingers touching my hair, "If that's what you want to do, then go for it, Niss."

I laughed quietly, pressing my lips against his shirt-covered ribs. "Thanks Bri, I was eagerly awaiting your approval."

Brian and I woke up earlier than usual the next morning, afraid that my younger brother would walk in and see us in some kid of compromising position. The two of us had talked about my brother, my son and everything else until 3:30AM. Then Brian's fingers found my spine and his touch led to something else completely.

In the morning, Sunday morning, Brian stayed for breakfast. He spent the whole time I was cooking watching me and sending me worried looks as I tried to adjust to the uncomfortableness my body was struggling to get past today. Even Juliann and Bronx asked me if I was okay. I put my best smile on my face and reassured them that I was before I quietly moved to a chair to take some of the weight off my feet.

Before Brian decided that it was his time to go I pulled him off into my bedroom, laughing as he attached his mouth to mine automatically. I chuckled and pushed him back from me, watching his smile downgrade to a worried look of confusion.

I offered him the best smile I could muster up and stepped back, unable to pace with him so close to me. He reached out to grab my wrist and stop me, but I didn't let him. My thoughts were shooting back to a darker time and I could barely breathe. The ideas in my head made me weak.

Brian begged. "Please, Nissa, tell me what's wrong?" he asked, holding his hands down by his side, his palms up. His dark eyes didn't leave me.

"I've felt this way before," I said, unable to meet his gaze, "I hope I'm wrong, but I don't know for sure."

"Know, what?" Brian repeated desperately, "Nissa, talk to me."

I swallowed harshly and turned to him, my words preparing themselves for battle on my tongue. I wasn't composed at all as I spoke next, my brain had shut off and nothing made sense to me, so of course, I couldn't frame my words in a less abrasive way.

"I might be pregnant," I said, my face going blank and my eyes widening as I put it out into the air.

Brian looked stunned. This had come out of left field, even to me, and I watched as he tried to get the gears working in his head again. He opened his mouth, then shook his head, and then tried again. "What?" he asked, coming back to reality, "Niss, how do you know?"

"My back, my feet, I feel weird in my own body," I named off, shaking my hands at my side, "I don't know how to explain it, Bri, but I feel like it's possible. It's the same way I felt with Bronx. I'm so sorry."

He shook his head, his eyes concealed. "It's not your fault," he answered, hurrying forward to wrap his arms around me. He kissed my head and repeated his words. "It's not your fault, Nissa."

He stepped back, fingers brushing over my face, and smiled slightly. "I have to go," he said, surprising me and making my nerves flare, "I'll call you later, but I have to go." He kissed my mouth quickly and turned to leave the room. I stood still as I processed the words, and then I hurried after him.