Sequel: You Are Loved, Baby. ›
Shattered Secrets
40.
"Mommy!" Bronx called as we walked around the new house. "I love my room!" he shouted, jumping down the four steps that led into the backyard. Juliann appeared from the finished basement, grinning like I hadn't seen him do in a long time, "I like my room too, Nissa."
I nodded and tried to smile, but the baby moved at the same time and it caught me off guard. It was simply incredible. I'd felt it with Bronx, but somehow forgot just how amazing it was. I wanted to turn to the baby's father and celebrate, and cry happy tears on his shoulder, but he wasn't here, and he never would be.
I'd been months since I last saw Brian. It seemed that not loving him back was enough to keep him away. Shutting the door in his face, pushing him out of our lives, it was hard, but necessary. But that didn't mean that I didn't regret it.
Not a day went by where I didn't think about him. I was in love with him in a way that I'd never been in love with anyone else. We hadn't been together long, but we were a secret that we would've killed to keep, and I loved him.
I knew there was no way to go back, now. I couldn't rewind or show up at his house and explain that I lied. It would reverse everything and he would lose so much and be so angry at me for taking it from him. So instead of dwelling, I moved forward.
Avenged Sevenfold was erased completely from my life. I only allowed myself to keep two pieces of them. Their city and Brian's son. It was all I needed now.
I held my five year old in my arms as we explored our new house. It was a big change for everyone, but they seemed to be adjusting easily. It'd been hard to tell my brother about my mistakes, but he cleaned himself up and pulled himself together, and now it was only him and me, and my kids.
I may not have made it into Brian's family, but I had one of my own, and I was incredibly grateful to have that at all.
"You two need to get to bed," I said to my brother and Bronx in our new living room, our new life, "We've got to get you enrolled in school tomorrow."
I nodded and tried to smile, but the baby moved at the same time and it caught me off guard. It was simply incredible. I'd felt it with Bronx, but somehow forgot just how amazing it was. I wanted to turn to the baby's father and celebrate, and cry happy tears on his shoulder, but he wasn't here, and he never would be.
I'd been months since I last saw Brian. It seemed that not loving him back was enough to keep him away. Shutting the door in his face, pushing him out of our lives, it was hard, but necessary. But that didn't mean that I didn't regret it.
Not a day went by where I didn't think about him. I was in love with him in a way that I'd never been in love with anyone else. We hadn't been together long, but we were a secret that we would've killed to keep, and I loved him.
I knew there was no way to go back, now. I couldn't rewind or show up at his house and explain that I lied. It would reverse everything and he would lose so much and be so angry at me for taking it from him. So instead of dwelling, I moved forward.
Avenged Sevenfold was erased completely from my life. I only allowed myself to keep two pieces of them. Their city and Brian's son. It was all I needed now.
I held my five year old in my arms as we explored our new house. It was a big change for everyone, but they seemed to be adjusting easily. It'd been hard to tell my brother about my mistakes, but he cleaned himself up and pulled himself together, and now it was only him and me, and my kids.
I may not have made it into Brian's family, but I had one of my own, and I was incredibly grateful to have that at all.
"You two need to get to bed," I said to my brother and Bronx in our new living room, our new life, "We've got to get you enrolled in school tomorrow."
♠ ♠ ♠
This is the end. Sorry it took so long for me to get out.I wanted to do something elaborate with the finale but I suck.
Go on and read the sequel: You Are Loved, Baby.