I Won't Say I'm in Love

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world." -Marilyn Monroe

“Bye, Sam! Bye, Emily!” I shouted as I sprinted through the door, a warm S’mores Pop-Tart in my hand, and another held between my teeth.

“Bye!” They yelled in unison before I shut the door behind me. I began to jog up the incline of the gravel driveway, but as I ran, the end of the Pop-Tart in my mouth snapped and fell to the ground. I stopped in my tracks and looked at it with a forlorn face for a moment, before I turned my gaze up to the people in the bright red Porsche convertible a few feet away. I could see Nate shaking his head and chuckling, while Konstantina outright pointed and laughed.
I ran the rest of the way to the car. Before I could get there, however, Nate had gotten out of the car and opened my door for me. Before I stepped inside, I gave him a quick kiss and a smile before sliding into the car, a little dizzy from Nate’s lips on mine. He walked over to his side and re-entered the car.

“Morning, graceful,” Tina teased, leaning forward from the backseat and pecking me on my cheek.

“Morning,” I giggled. Nate put the car into reverse and started down the road to school.

“Can I have a bite of that?” Nate asked, looking at my Pop-Tart.

“Get your own part of a healthy breakfast!” I joked. He rolled his eyes and held his mouth open. I chuckled and broke off a bit of my Pop-Tart, holding it out in front of his mouth. He leaned toward me a little and bit down, not only capturing the Pop-Tart, but also lightly nipping my fingers in the process. I gave a small squeak and pulled my fingers back, causing Nate to smile. “You bit my finger!” I squealed, smiling as well.

“I know,” he said. “I meant to do that.” Placing my middle finger’s nail against my thumb, I flicked him on the temple.

“Ow!” he yelped.

“Jerk,” I muttered.

“Did you just thump me?” he exclaimed. I nodded.

“You bit my finger,” I said calmly.

“So that requires you to thump me?”

“I think it’s fair.”

“I think you’re stupid.”

“I think your face is stupid.”

“No you don’t. You love my face.

“I hate your soul.”

“At least I have one.”

“Bite me.”

“Can I, please?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his last remark, which made him laugh in return.

“Both of you guys are stupid. Calypso, we have a very important mission to complete,” Tina piped from the backseat. I nodded.

“Yes. You’re right. What’s up?” I asked.

“Are you wearing the outfit?” she questioned.

“Check,” I confirmed. Konstantina and I had rummaged through her closet the afternoon before, looking for a badass outfit, because my wardrobe was too girly to pull that off. We chose a white v-neck with black, baggy cargo pants and beat-up motorcycle boots. My hair was flat-ironed and I was wearing zero make-up and a thick black leather band on my wrist.

“And you understand the plan?” I nodded again.

“But wait,” I began. “What f Jennifer doesn’t confront me? How will the plan work out then?”

“She will. Don’t worry about it,” she reassured me.

“How do you know?” I pressed on. Tina sighed and leaned forward so we could talk face-to-face.

“Because she is Jennifer Keelan. This being the case, she will pull the bitchiest move ever, which will be to kick you when you’re down,” Tina explained.

“Wouldn’t the bitchiest move be to shoot me in my face?” I asked. Tina shook her head.

“No. Because then you’d be dead. Not only will she have put you out of your misery, but her
fun would also be over.”

“Oh,” I chuckled, sharing a glance with Nate.

“Just trust me. Jennifer’s a bitch, and it takes one to know one. That’s why you have me on your team,” she added.

“I thought we had you on our team because you wouldn’t stop following us,” Nate reminded.

“Oh yeah. That too,” she agreed.

“I can be a bitch,” I stated plainly. Nate and Konstantina both laughed.

“What?” I giggled, looking at both of them.

“No you can’t, darling,” Nate told me plainly.

“I can too! You guys just haven’t seen me—”

“Okay, sweetie. If you say so,” Konstantina interrupted.

I pouted. “You guys are poops,” I grumbled. As I said that, Nate came to a smooth stop on the middle of the parking lot.

“Alright, hun, I’m gonna go set up,” Konstantina said. “Meet you inside after the execution.”
With that, she left. I sat inside the car a little longer, staring out the tinted windshield. All of a sudden, I wasn’t so sure about this plan.

“What’s the matter, babe?” Nate asked me, leaning closer. I looked over into his large brown eyes, and couldn’t help but feel a little bit warmer.

“I’m nervous,” I whispered. “I feel like there’s a storm of butterflies in my stomach, and my brain has melted into a pool of mush inside my head. How am I supposed to execute the plan if I have mush in my head? James Bond doesn’t have a mushy head! Charlie’s Angels don’t have mushy heads! Now tell me, how am I supposed to—”

My incessant rambling was cut off by Nate’s soft, familiar lips crashing against mine. I gave a small sigh and immediately felt all worries fly out of my mind as I wrapped my arms around him and pressed myself as close to him as I could possibly manage. The tip of his tongue met mine, sending a spark through me. I reached up behind his head and grabbed a handful of his hair. We kissed for a while longer before he detached his lips from mine and pulled back just enough to speak.

“How are those butterflies?” he murmured, his lips still grazing mine.

“Definitely not any better.” I responded in a breathy voice. He chuckled, sending a shiver through me.

“You’re going to be perfect,” he whispered, his lips traveling to my neck.

“Perfect?” I asked in a breathy voice, sure that he could feel my heart pounding against his mouth.

“Utterly—” He kissed my collarbone. “Totally—” He kissed the place where my jaw met my neck. “Amazingly—” He kissed the corner of my mouth. “Perfect.” He kissed me softly on my lips and I fell into him as I entangled my fingers in his hair.

“Promise?” I asked him. He smiled.

“I promise.” I grinned and kissed him once more before I turned and exited the car. As soon as my foot hit the pavement, I could feel myself transform. During my walk up the steps, the attention given to me was limited. However, almost immediately after I entered the building, the halls were silent. There were fans pointing toward me right beside the door, and a strong one at the end of the hall—courtesy of Konstantina and her sitcom-y niece/uncle relationship with the janitor—sending my perfect hair into a billowing wave of black locks.

The halls were only quiet for a minute before they erupted into whispers and low laughter. I ignored the crude pictures plastered all over the lockers of me and my public half-nakedness, and strutted down the hallway. I had eyes only for Jennifer and her flying monkeys as they loitered by my locker. They smirked and giggled like children as I approached, making it obvious they were talking about me. When I approached, Jennifer had a snarky comment all lined up and ready to go.

“Decided to wear clothes today, Calypso?” Jennifer ripped. I smiled and laughed as if the joke was genuinely funny, while I tore pictures of myself from my locker so that I could access it.

“Yeah. Decided to keep things PG today,” I joked along as I opened my locker. “But you certainly didn’t huh, Jennifer?” I lifted a fairly undamaged piece of paper from the ground and showed it to her, the picture of my half-naked body being almost shoved in her face. She laughed and tossed her hair back.

“You like it?” Jennifer asked as her minions giggled behind her. I shrugged.

“Can’t say I do, but I’m sure your new boy toy Oliver Matthews does.” Others in the hallway, who were hanging intently on our every word, tittered.
“Matthews? Please. He wishes he was my boy toy,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes and tossing
her hair.

“Jennifer, we all know you gave him some hard-core oral at the party on Saturday.” She scowled at me, all of her invulnerability vanishing from her demeanor.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she hissed. I laughed.

“Oh, sweetie. You didn’t honestly think he would have kept that a secret, did you?” Jennifer’s eyes flew open. I gave her a smug smile. “All someone had to do was ask.” Jennifer’s jaw fell open, but she quickly composed herself.

“So what if I did? Why are you snooping around my sex life anyway? Trying to find out if I have any lesbian tendencies? If that’s your plan, then you are sadly mistaken.” I chuckled.

“You’d love that to be the case, wouldn’t you?” I asked, narrowing my eyes. I gathered my books and closed my locker. “No, someone just happened to relay that information back to me…along with an interesting theory.”

“What?”

“Well, you’re usually completely disgusted by Oliver. I mean, when I first mentioned your intimacies, you recoiled and denied it.”

“Yeah? So? Her tone became more panicked, which made me shake my head.

“Well, you had to have some kind of motivation…a bribe, maybe?”

“What are you implying, Calypso?” she asked, angry now.

“Hmm…having sex with one person in exchange for a favor…”I looked around encouragingly at the crowd. “Tell me if I’m mistaken—”

“You’re mistaken—” Jennifer hissed.

“But doesn’t that sound a lot like a prostitute?” I heard someone laugh abruptly somewhere in
the hall which caused another round of whispers and giggling.

“Are you kidding me?” Jennifer shrieked, her face red with both anger and embarrassment now.

“No. I certainly am not,” I responded calmly, crossing my arms. “I know for a fact that you promised Oliver you would give him a blowjob in exchange for him to hold me down while you publicly humiliated me.”

“It was a favor for a favor! Not prostituting!”

“Oh, is that what they’re calling it now? ‘A favor for a favor’?” I laughed. She rolled her eyes and scoffed.

“Whatever, Calypso. This is just your desperate little attempt to get back at me for exposing you as the whore you are. Don’t try to turn it into something more,” she hissed, stepping closer tome, her blue eyes piercing mine.

“Oh, but it is so much more, Jennifer,” I said smugly. “Charlie! Could you come here please?” I shouted down the hall. From his secluded place on the wall, Charlie had been hanging out inconspicuously, waiting for his cue to come in. He walked coolly down the hall, his boots making official thuds on the linoleum with each step. Jennifer looked around, the anger on her face morphing into horror.

“Who the hell are you?” she demanded as he stood in front of her.

“I’m Charlie Swan, chief of the Forks, Washington police department, and you, Jennifer Keelan, are under arrest for prostitution,” he answered politely.

“Excuse me?” Jennifer scoffed as Charlie bound her wrists behind her back with handcuffs and began to read her Miranda rights. Jennifer’s eyes widened in horror as the seriousness of her predicament sunk in.

“WAIT!” she hollered at me. I cocked an eyebrow, waiting for her to say more. She sighed resignedly.

“What do you want?” she whispered.

I shot her my most charming smile and said, “So you’re finally getting it, are you?” She didn’t answer. She just glared. I chuckled and yelled for Konstantina. While she strutted down the hall, most likely looking better than I had, I explained my bargain to Jennifer.
“It’s quite simple, really. You just have to be my servant for a week. Carry my books from class to class, make me my lunch, and other things of my choice.”

“That’s it? That’s what you’re holding over my head? You pulled this crap for that?” Jennifer demanded, obviously angered.

“Mhm,” I nodded nonchalantly. Konstantina then appeared beside me, holding a large plastic bag containing something on a hanger. “You also get to wear this,” I added. Jenifer just stared at me, baffled. I shrugged. “Like I said. Simple.”

“Do we have a deal?”

It was silent for a moment, as everyone watched Jennifer, eager for her response. Finally, she sighed and said, “Okay.” Charlie unlocked the handcuffs and she wriggled out of them, obviously glad to have control of her arms once more. She snapped her hand out to snatch the costume from Konstantina, who immediately pulled it back and wagged a disapproving finger.

“How do you ask?” I questioned, as if prompting a three-year-old. Everyone in the hall sniggered, and I swore I could see Jennifer’s plan to murder me unfolding inside her head.
She looked back to Tina and requested through gritted teeth, “May I please have the…whatever-the-hell that is?” She nodded, gave it to Jennifer, and patted her on her head.

“Very good,” she cooed before Jennifer marched away.

“We’ll work on your attitude later!” I hollered after her, making the hall erupt with laughter. As soon as Jennifer had disappeared into the bathroom, a bunch of kids—the same ones who had just been laughing at my expense—approached me and congratulated me.

As if I needed their approval.

I gave everyone very dismissive smiles, said, “Thanks” a lot, and walked over to the bathroom with Konstantina and Charlie. We stood next to the door, eagerly waiting for what we knew was soon coming. There was the sound of the stall door being opened and closed…the crinkling of the costume being revealed…and…

“Oh, HELL no!” Konstantina and I both laughed and high-fived each other when Jennifer came storming back outside, the costume in her hand. It was the yellow costume of La-La from the popular children’s television show, Teletubbies.

“No freakin’ way,” she hissed, shaking the costume. I looked at her and shrugged.

“Okay.” Charlie simply rattled his handcuffs as a reminder of what the other option was if she didn’t wear the costume. He glared at him, and he just looked at her as if this was the easiest thing in the world. She finally groaned and stomped back into the bathroom with the La-La suit.

“So, just in case she is stubborn enough to back out, can we actually arrest her?” I asked quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear me. “I mean, does that actually constitute as prostitution? Would it hold up in court?” Charlie shrugged.

“I don’t think so. However, I am almost positive that this could be considered blackmail.” I nodded thoughtfully.

“So, fingers crossed she goes through with it?” Charlie laughed and held up his crossed fingers, making me smile. He walked over and gave me a brief hug, which I gratefully returned.

“Thanks so much, Charlie. You rock,” I said as he walked away.

He just put his hands in his pockets, nodded and said, “I know I do.” And then he left.

Just then was when Jennifer slowly emerged in the bathroom. She was glowering as she stood in front of me. Konstantina and I bit back laughter as everyone in the hallway howled
with it. The costume was amazing. It was giant, humiliating and perfect.

“You look nice,” I strained to say without laughing.

“You look skinnier,” Tina said, patting the large television pot-belly on Jennifer. Jennifer angrily whacked at Tina’s hands with her own, having difficulty moving her arms because of the stiff new suit.

“Aw! Look at your hands!” I cooed. “You just have a thumb. All your other fingers meshed together. Like Pooh bear! How cute!” Jennifer was silent. Tina and I laughed as the bell rang.

“Alright, La-La,” I said, addressing Jennifer. “Time to get to class. You can spend lunch time taking down these vulgar photos,” I allowed, walking away.

“Shame on you!” Tina reprimanded mockingly a she followed me.

“You are so fucking amazing, it’s unbelievable,” Quil said, picking me up and spinning me around.

“I cannot believe you pulled that off! How badass are you!” Embry congratulated, playfully socking me in the shoulder. I laughed and hugged him as all four of us continued down the hall to the gym.

“I had no idea you could be such a total bitch!” Quil said. I excitedly hopped out of Embry’s arms and jumped in front of Konstantina, bouncing and pointing as I continued to walk backwards.

“HA! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA! I TOLD you I could be a bitch! Suck it, Konstantina!” She rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Alright! Alright. You can be a bitch when necessary, I admit,” she resigned. I kept walking backwards, still smiling and pointing.

“I was so right,” I continued as I pushed the doors open with my butt. “You guys didn’t believe in me. But I told you. I told you guys that when push came to shove, I would—BAH!” The wind was almost knocked out of me when I felt someone grab me around the waist and cover my mouth from behind. I screamed and kicked, but my sounds were muffled by the person’s hand as I was dragged around the corner.

Embry sighed, rolled his eyes and said, “Jacob, what the hell, man?” My eyes flew open in anger once I realized who it was.

“JACOB?” I tried to shout, but it came out muffled. Quil and Konstantina were laughing as they came around the corner. Jacob let go of my middle for a moment to get something out of his pocket, and I tried to struggle away, but he just held me to him by my head. I saw him hold out money in front of him, three twenty dollar bills.

“You see nothing,” he said calmly.

Embry, Quil and Konstantina all exchanged a look that obviously meant, “Should we take it?” Eventually, they all shrugged and each took one of the bills. I frowned and shrieked as urgently as I could from behind Jacob’s hand.

“See ya,” Quil said.

“Bye!” Embry waved.

“Love you!” Tina trilled as she followed Quil and Embry to the gym. I flipped them all the bird when they looked back, and they all just waved happily.

Jacob put his arm around my waist again and dragged me against the wall. I screamed and kicked and bit and clawed as hard as I could, but it had absolutely no affect on him. It was baffling, really. Repositioning himself, Jacob pushed me back against the wall and held me there by keeping one hand on my shoulder, and the other over my mouth. I was glaring at him, but it was becoming extremely difficult to stay angry with him considering the way he was gazing at me. If my heart hadn’t already been beating so hard from the exertion of trying to escape him, it would be frantic.

I fought for a little while longer before Jacob put his mouth near to my ear and whispered, “I can’t apologize if you keep struggling.” I sighed and stopped kicking, and instead of gripping his arm with my nails, I just let my hand rest there. Pulling back so that he could look me in the eye, he asked, “Will you not scream?” I looked into his eyes for a moment longer, looking for something—what I was looking for, I wasn’t exactly sure. Eventually, I nodded and he slowly pulled his hand away from my face.

“Why did you kidnap me?” I asked in as calm of a voice as I could muster.

“Because there would be no other way for you to listen to me,” he explained simply as he braced his hands against the wall on either side of my head. I took a deep breath and tried to count backwards from ten, still frustrated that I was going to be late to class.

“Well, are you going to say what you have to say, or not?” I demanded, becoming impatient.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against mine. I looked away and rolled my eyes as if I could care less, but my breathing had become shallow and my heart was pounding loud and hard in my chest.

Sighing, Jacob took his hand off of the wall and cupped my face in his hands, stepping even closer to me. My breathing hitched, betraying the fact that I was on the verge of exploding with anticipation, and making Jacob chuckle. He gently kissed my forehead and I swore I could feel my lungs contract.

“I miss you,” he whispered, kissing my temple.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he whispered, kissing my other temple.

“I was so wrong,” he whispered, kissing my cheekbone.

“Jennifer’s a bitch,” he whispered, kissing my nose.

“Jacob…” I murmured, closing my eyes and placing my hands on his chest. My knees were ready to buckle beneath me and my breath was shaky and unsteady.

“I can’t take not being with you anymore.” He kissed my chin, making me sigh.

“Jacob…” I whimpered, sliding my hands up to his shoulders. One of my hands held the side of his neck, while the other held the side of his face.

“I just freaked out…” He kissed the corner of my mouth, making me give a small gasp. I couldn’t say anything more. I was desperately trying to discover some way to push him away from me, but I couldn’t. All I wanted was for him to kiss me. Jacob pressed his nose against mine, his lips barely touching my mouth.

“When you slept with Nate…”

My eyes flew open and I shoved my hand in between our faces, gripping his. Jacob frowned at me, his lips contorted into a weird position.

“What?” I snarled, one eyebrow angrily cocked.

“The fact that you slept with Nate freaked me out, but now I’m over it,” he repeated, though his words were jumbled during the current state of his mouth. I glared at him still.

“I didn’t sleep with him!” I exclaimed, upset that he refused to believe me. Jacob pried his face out of my hand.

“Oh, come off it, Calypso,” he dismissed, rolling his eyes. I scoffed and pushed him away from me.

“Ass,” I muttered, beginning to storm to class, but Jacob caught my arm and spun me back around to face him. “HEY!” I shouted angrily, trying to get hm to let go of my arm.

“Calypso, stop lying! It doesn’t matter! I said I don’t care! So why don’t you just admit it?” he demanded, an indignant glint in his eye.

“Because I’m not going to admit to something I didn’t do because you’re being a little bitch!” I shouted in his face. I somehow wriggled my arm free of his grip and started to run away.

“Calypso!” Jacob hollered, grabbing me around my waist from behind and lifting me up again.

“NO! NO! NO! NO!” I screamed repeatedly like a child, kicking and waving my arms frantically, like a child.

“Dammit, Calypso,” he grunted, trying to restrain me, but failing. My thrashing around made him lose his balance and we both tumbled to the ground. He released me when we hit the ground and I tried to scramble away. “Calypso, get back here!” Jacob grabbed my ankle and dragged me back. I screamed and pounded the ground. Jacob easily overpowered me, straddling me and clamping his hand over my mouth. I screeched and tried to pull his hand off my mouth.

“Calypso, stop it!” he yelled at me. I tried to bite into his hand, but he didn’t even flinch, which thoroughly frustrated me.

“What the hell is happening here?” we heard a voice say. I stopped struggling and looked back, seeing Jared looking down at the two of us.

“Jared!” I tried to shout, but it didn’t quite come out that way. Jacob cursed under his breath and used his free hand to dig into his back pocket.

“You see nothing!” Jacob said, waving another twenty-dollar bill at him, not nearly as badass and nonchalant this time. Jared stared at him incredulously for a moment before he rolled his eyes.

“Are you really trying to bribe me?” he questioned, much more loyally than the others. He walked over and took me by my hands, dragging me out from underneath Jacob and helping me to my feet. I stood and glared at Jacob beside Jared.

“You stupid son-of-a-bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?” I cried, flailing my arms for emphasis.

“You’re not listening to me!” he barked, seething.

“I did listen to you! I didn’t like what I was hearing!”

“Did you kidnap her?” Jared asked, still puzzled as to what was going on. Jacob nodded indifferently, as if that was the last of his worries.

“Didn’t you walk to class with Tina, Quil and Embry?” Jared asked me.

“He paid them off!” I exclaimed, still annoyed by that fact. Jared frowned, still confused.

“Jared, do you believe her when she says she didn’t sleep with Nate?” Jacob asked.

“JACOB!” I yelled, shocked at his blatant question.

“Yeah,” Jared answered without a second thought, warily eyeing Jacob.

“What?” Jacob scoffed, throwing his arms up. “How? It makes no sense!” Jared put his arm around me and pulled me in close to him.

“Because she told me she didn’t. That’s how.” I gave a small smile as Jared stared Jacob down, obviously a little upset with him. Jacob sighed and stared at me.

“I can’t believe this…” he whispered. My anger went up in white-hot flames again.

“Then don’t, Jacob!” I yelled, taking Jared’s arm off of me. “I don’t even care anymore! Don’t bother apologizing at all, because it doesn’t mean crap!”

“Calypso!” Jacob yelled back, surprised by my sudden outburst.

“No, don’t, Jacob! Do not talk to me, do not contact me, do not look at me, don’t even think about me!” I continued as Jared began dragging me away, forcing me to walk backwards. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore! Fuck! You!” That was where I finished. I turned back around and let Jared put his arm around me again as we headed off to class, only two minutes left.

“Well, FINE!” Jacob roared after me. “I WON’T! I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH A LYING WHORE ANYWAY!” I stopped in my tracks, staring at the brick building in front of me. And when I stopped, I felt the whole world stop. Time froze. Everything was silent. Even the birds had stopped chirping.

“JACOB!” Jared roared, turning around to face Jacob. Before I knew what I was doing, I had turned back around and was walking toward Jacob at full speed. Tears were blurring my eyes, and my breath was shaky, but I was focused on one thing, and one thing only: Jacob. He stared at me lividly, his whole body shaking as his fists clenched and unclenched.
My hand shot out as fast as a bullet as I smacked Jacob hard across the face. His head snapped the other way with the force and it stayed there for a while, as he stood in shock. I stood there, panting and glaring at him before I smacked him again with the back of my hand, sending his head back in the other direction. Jacob and I were both panting as tears poured down my cheeks. Despite the searing pain that was radiating throughout my hand, I doubted that my weeping had anything to do with that.

“Ow,” I finally whimpered helplessly, as my heart pathetically crumpled inside of my chest. It literally hurt, and it became difficult to breathe. Sobbing, I started toward the bathroom. I was opening the door to the building when I saw Jared running toward Jacob, his eyes wild.

“JARED!” I screamed as he socked Jacob hard in the jaw, sending him to the ground. “Stop!” I yelled, running back over. Jared lifted Jacob, who was nursing his jaw, by the back of his shirt collar and slammed him against the wall, causing a few bricks to tumble from it. “Stop it!” I said as Jared was winding his hand back to punch Jacob in the face again. “JARED, STOP IT!” I begged, grabbing the arm he was about to use to punch Jacob. His breathing was heavy as he stared Jacob in the eye, obviously trying to decide to listen to me or not. Using this gap in decision, I pulled on Jared with all my might, and he eventually let me pull him away.
Jacob collapsed against the wall, panting and wiping blood from the corner of my mouth.

“Thanks,” he muttered, looking at me.

“I only told him to stop because you’re not worth it,” I spat, taking Jared’s hand and leading him back to the doors. Before we trued the corner I looked around and said, “You can burn in hell for all I care.” Then we left.