Coyotes and Crickets

This was the last place that I saw him, spoke to him, breathed in his scent.

Its the last place he stood.

The last place he told me that he loved me.

The last place he'd been before his light was snuffed out.

And here I am again...three years later, still holding onto those same sounds; the coyote's lonesome howl at the moon, and the cricket's chirping song in the dead of the night.

Still looking at the same inky sky, with the twinkling stars.

And still hurting; but I'm breathing.

Anna shifted her weight back on her hands, knees bent, the soles of her shoes pressed against the cool ground. She was sitting in the middle of a field. The field...their field. Thinking about...him.

Xavier. He'd been her world; her guiding light on those cool summer nights, the ones that Oklahoma are known for. They'd sneak out, come here, and talk about their dreams of running off and leaving this town, their families, and everything they hated, behind them. They'd sit for hours, staring up at the sky, watching as the stars twinkled, dreaming about a life much sweeter than this. It was in the shine of their eyes, the curve of their lips, and the sweet kisses shared. They had been in love.

I suppose I just really didn't deserve all that happiness. Anna sighed deeply as she reached up, tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear, blinking moist, blue eyes. She paused in her actions. There came the chirping of the crickets, joining together to create a somewhat soothing chorus of clicks, proving there was more than one of them.

She titled her head sightly, waited; counted to five. And there. There was the coyote's lonely howl. She guessed there was probably three or four of them, letting out their sad voices, crying out to the moon for someone to help with the pain.

A lot like me.

As she sat there, the memories of that day trickled in slowly, tearing her heart to pieces once again.

Xavier didn't make it.

Drunk driver.

T-boned his car.

Driver's side.

Lots of blood loss.

Died on impact.

No pain.

"No pain?!" She screamed out angrily in the night. "No pain?! Maybe not for him, but for everyone else!"

She couldn't help it anymore. In the silence that ensued her outcry, she burst into tears. They snaked down her cheeks, leaving behind sad, black trails of mascara. She didn't bother to wipe them away. It didn't matter, since she was alone now.

"It hurt me..." She whispered to the night.

Her only answer were the crickets that picked back up their chirping, and the coyotes howling sadly at the moon once more.