Annoyed the Ice Until It Melted

“Urghh.” I groaned loudly as I sat up from my bed. I hate Monday mornings, above all other mornings. Actually, I lie. I hate all mornings. Simple. The day should really start at, at least midday. Anything before that should be considered an unholy hour- in fact when I’m Queen of the world, anyone who’s awake before midday will be punished.

Sighing, I heaved my bum out from under the covers and blindly reached for my uniform which was hung beside my bed whilst keeping my eyes closed. After finding something that felt like my shirt, I tugged it around my shoulders and began trying to do up the non-existent buttons.

I heard Zoey’s voice somewhere to my left and turned my head in her direction, trying to lift my heavy eyelids up enough to see my blond friend.

“Arrg?” I mumbled in reply.

Footsteps came closer to me, then I heard; “Mate, I love you an all, but I don’t think we can be friends if you continue to try wearing your skirt where your shirt should be.”

At this, my eyes popped open in surprise and I looked down to see that I had indeed been searching for a sleeve in my skirt. “Whoops?” I grinned up at Zoey who just rolled her eyes and stepped towards my shirt taking it off of the hanger and chucked it over my head.

“I’ll meet you at breakfast, ya loser.” She laughed and exited the room so she could get her fill of heavily caffeinated tea before classes. Trust me; she was a surly bitch if she didn’t have her tea in the morning. But then again, I couldn’t talk since I wasn’t so smiley when I hadn’t eaten. Shrugging, I finally tugged the shirt off my head and began to dress properly.



Ten minutes later, and I was in the Great Hall hastily shoving anything I could get my hands on into my mouth before I had to leave for the daily torture ritual known as ‘school.’

“Maddy, stop!” Neville shouted, grabbing my hand which was inches from my mouth. Now that I was paying for attention, I noticed that I’d just picked up a whole block of butter and was very close to taking a bite out of it.

“Ew!” I grimaced as I threw it back on a plate. “Who put that in there!” I looked round accusingly at the people seated around me and pointed at my hand, who now looked somewhat scared.

“Maddy, you put that in your own hand.” He chuckled, bring a hand to his face, “Remember, we talked about this? Think before you try and eat it!”

“Oh!” I grinned, chuckling to myself; “My bad!” Then I continued to shove food in my mouth.

I heard Neville sigh next to me, “Come on, you bonkers loon. It’s lesson time.”

I watched him as he stood from his seat and I pouted at him, “Nevvs!” I whined, dragging out his name, “I don’t wanna go! The food will be lonely!” I said, bringing my arms around the mountain of food I’d piled on my plate and glaring up at Neville.

Neville rolled his eyes and said, “I’m sure the food will live, Maddy.”

Suddenly Draco’s voice could be heard from the other side of the Hall, from the Slytherin table; “Hey Fatso,” You could hear him over everyone else’s chatter; “Get your arse up. I need to copy your homework on the way to class!”

Neville rolled his eyes once again and gave me a quick backwards hug before saying, “I’ll see ya later, Maddy Bear.” He quickly began shuffling to his first class.

Thinking that the worst was over, I returned to munching whatever remained on my plate and sighed in content. I remained oblivious to everyone else in the Hall until a massive hand clamped onto my shoulder. I paused mid-bite and craned my neck to look at the large hulking figure of the one and only Pain in my Ass. Yeah, you guessed it- Draco Malfoy.

I growled and tried to bite his hand. Somehow Draco seemed to know what was coming and moved his hand away before I’d managed to sink my teeth into his flesh. Rolling his eyes he ordered, “Maddy, get your humongous ass up.”

“No!” I firmly said in protest, “Leave me alone asshole, I’m not going to class!” I turned back to my food and continued to munch on my bread roll.

“Madeline- Rae Hart.” I cringed at my full name, feeling my eye twitch, “Get your butt off that bench now or I swear to God I will lift you up and drag you to class.” Draco said through gritted teeth, narrowing his eyes down at me.

“Screw you man-whore!” I yelled in response.

“Fine, Hart. Remember that I gave you a choice…” He reached down and somehow managed to hoist me off my chair and twist me around so I lay across both of his shoulders. And despite my screaming and kicking he managed to hold on to me, whilst pointing his wand at my school bag and uttering 'locomotor school bag.'

“Damn you, you prick!” I growled, finally going limp and accepting the fact that I couldn’t get out of his hold.

“Whatever, you psychotic cow…” He snarled back as he made his way to the doors, ignoring the curious looks.



When we finally reached the class he dropped me unceremoniously in my seat and grabbed my school bag, rifling through it for my homework.

I glared at him as he quickly scanned my work, and then compared it to his own which was considerably shorter. Grabbing his quill and ink, he began furiously scribbling down things onto his own parchment. I rolled my eyes, ‘asshole, can’t even do his own homework.’

About five minutes later he shoved my parchment back at me and muttered a quick ‘thank you.’ Then he lifted his parchment in the air and began blowing at the wet ink.

“Butthead!” I growled after smacking the upside of his head and snatching my school bag back to my side of the table.

“What?!” He snapped, rubbing the side of his head, “I said thank you!” He reached out and grabbed a chunk of my hair and tugged in return.

“Oh, I know you did not just tug on my hair!” I yelled as I picked up someone else’s heavy Muggle Studies textbook and whacked him anywhere I could reach with it.

“Urgh, did you swallow a bitch pill this morning or something you psychotic dwarf? What the hell is wrong with you?” He grumbled, quickly pulling the book out of my hands with ease and holding it out of my reach.

“You damn prick!” I growled, jumping on my chair and trying to grab it off him.

“Tell me, are you PMS-ing or something!” He shouted, moving himself so as to defend himself whilst not hurting me. I yelled in frustration and decided that leaping on him would just be more effective and satisfying.



As Professor Burbage walked into her classroom, psyching herself up to deal with the two most difficult students in the school (aside from the Weasley Twins), she noticed that all the students were huddled in a circle around the front of the room screaming; “Fight, fight, fight.”

Quickly grasping her wand she screamed; “Enough!” -and the class quickly separated to reveal the two students she’d expected to see, rolling around on the floor whilst viciously pulling each other’s hair.

“Let go, you blond bimbo!” Madeline screamed as she tugged at Draco’s hair.

“You let go, you fat elephant! You’re ruining my hair!” He retorted grabbing onto Maddy's hair and tugging.

“What on Earth, is going on here?” The red face Professor demanded as she flicked her wand and separated the two instantly.



“That drugged up cow thought it would be funny just to attack me for saying thank you!” The Dumbo furiously yelled, whilst pointing at me. Neither of us really paid attention to the gasps the other students gave when they heard that the Great and Almighty Draco Malfoy had thanked someone.

“What! I attacked you for kidnapping me, taking me to class, and then stealing my work!” I shouted back waving my fists as furiously as I could through the invisible force that was keeping us at separate ends of the room.

We both began screaming at each other all over again. The Professor sighed and silenced us both with an angry swish of her wand.

“Both of you will attend detention for the rest of the month- and fifty points from each of your houses! Don’t think I won’t be talking to your Head’s of House about this!” Draco and I looked at each other in horror and disgust, both of us trying to voicelessly state our cases about why we each shouldn’t be in detention via vigorous pointing and gesturing.

“That’s it. End of discussion. Now sit your butts on your chairs, and play like nice children now!”

We both simultaneously glared at the pudgy teacher in front of us and sneered. She waved her wand and the spell separating us was broken, as well as the Silencio spell. We then looked each other up and down, then 'hmphed' dramatically, before taking seats on opposite ends of the classroom.

“Right class, now that that adventure is over- today we are moving onto Muggle weaponry. So, can anyone tell me what this is?” She said whilst holding up a large wooden stick with a sharp metallic point. When no one answered she continued. “This is called a spear, and was used by Muggles even before the Magdalenian period. They were used for defence, as well as to….”



“What were you thinking, Hart?” Snape sneered down his hooked nose at me. During lunch, we’d both been summoned by our respective Head’s of Houses to attend a ‘disciplinary’ meeting, but since McGonagall couldn’t make it we were stuck with the King of Slime. And since I was a Gryffindor I knew I would be getting it bad from Snape.

“I’m sick of you walking around this honourable school like you own it! You make me sick and are a disgrace!”…Whoa, hold up there homeboy, that was rude and way too personal. But it got worse as Snape continued, “You mess up whatever you please and leave the rubbish for someone else to clean up! You are a stupid, worthless, spoilt little brat-"

He got cut off as Draco stood abruptly with his fists clenched and barked; “Don’t you dare talk to her like that!” Both Snape and I turned to Draco, momentarily surprised by his loud outburst.

But is seemed Snape was determined to lash out at anyone and everyone as he turned his sharp tongue on his favourite student. “And don’t even get me started on you, Mr. Malfoy. I mean really. What kind of House Pride do you possess when you associate with this disgusting little twerp? I mean really Draco, your father would-”

“Oi, Slimy King of Slime, I do believe that I’m the only who can talk to Malfoy about what a disappointment he is!” I shouted as I stood from my chair and turned on Snape, not really sure what had possessed me to jump up like that, when I should be happy he wasn’t ripping his teeth into me anymore… And also since Draco and I hadn’t spoken a kind word to each other since our fall out.

“How dare you!” Snape growled, turning on me once again. “Detention for two months- both of you! And trust me; I intend to make these the worst two months of your academic career.”



Damn. That crazy ass wasn’t lying when we said he was going to make these two months hell for us. I cringed when I saw the horrid, unknown stains that covered the Potions lab floor. It was our third day of detention and I was already contemplating going to Snape and begging for mercy.

What’s worse is that Malfoy and I hadn’t made up from my… psychotic meltdown. For three days, the halls of Hogwarts had been quiet (… well quieter than usual, anyway).

Draco and I each grabbed a mop that was ready and waiting for us and began trying to remove a one hundred year old stain from the floor.

“Malfoy?” I called quietly, only to sigh as he paused for a second then continued to scrape at a gooey mark. “Draco, please?” I said a bit louder as I tried again. I looked up at him with well practised watery, puppy dog eyes when he turned to look at me and I grinned when he grunted and rolled his eyes.

“Drakieee, I’m sorry!”

I leaned on my mop as I watched for his reaction. I raised my eyebrows when Draco huffed and stuck his nose in the air, then he sighed and slumped his shoulders showing a tiny smile, but dropped it as soon as it appeared and quietly said, “Me too.”

“Good,” I replied, with a stiff nod, grinning twirling the mop in my hands, “'cause I have something much more fun to do than mop the floor!”

“Oh, no you don’t!” Malfoy said, pointing the end of his mop at me. “We’re in enough trouble as it is. You just suck it up and behave yourself.”

I blinked at him as those words left his mouth before I cackled wildly, “That’s no fun!” Seconds later I brandished my mop in his face and shouted; “En Guarde!”

Malfoy gave me a incredulous look, and asked; “Hart, what the bloody hell do you think you‘re doing?”

I grinned at him, moving my mop so the handle was leaning against my shoulder, “Haven’t you been paying attention in class? This is how the Muggle’s duelled before they made those little black things that shot fire.”



Growling like the raving loony I am, I stormed through the common room having just returned from my fifth detention. What’s worse is that the Ferret, less fondly known as Draco Malfoy, had not been in classes nor at detention- so needless to say, I was double moody. And everyone kept asking me if I knew where he was. As if I know where that twit goes off to…

I started ripping off my cloak whilst storming towards the girl’s dormitories when I was stopped by two ginger people who were inconveniently blocking my path.

“Move it, dipsticks!” I growled, baring my teeth like a feral dog.

The twins looked at each other and grinned. “Bad detention, shorty?” George began, with an identical twinkle in his eye as his twin. “We have just the thing to cheer you up!” Fred finished, with both of them grinning wildly.

“Get. Out. Of. My. Way,” I said each syllable dangerously slow, “… before I make you.” I said through clenched teeth and pointed my wand at each of them in turn. They immediately backed away, not wanting to be on the receiving end of one of my flawless jinxes.

“Now there’s no need to get like that-“

“- Really, we just want to help!”

“We are your friends, after all!” They finished together perfectly.

I threw them a suspicious look and scrutinised their faces for anything… well, suspicious. “What do you want?” I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes, looking them from face to face.

“Well, I’m glad that you asked,” Fred said, “We’ve perfected our recipe for our Animal Biscuit selection and we’d like to give you the opportunity of being our first customer!” They held out a bag filled with large animal shaped biscuits, coated in a layer of chocolate and watched my face carefully for a reaction.

“Customer?” I scoffed, looking down at the biscuits. “I’ll take those for free, thank you very much!” I snarled snatching the bag from George’s hand and ripping it open. I quickly shoved my hand into the packet and grabbed an elephant shaped biscuit, popping it into my mouth.

Hmm, I thought, these aren’t actually that bad! I grinned and quickly took another big bite. But suddenly, I felt… bigger. And as I looked down, I realized that my hands had turned grey and I’d grown a few feet. Looking down at Fred and George in confusion, it dawned on me… they’d turned me into a freakin’ elephant! God, Maddy- this is what you get for eating something that the twin Ginger Nuts gives you!

Not really knowing what to do, I remained still and seconds later I’d become a fully fledged elephant. Considering that I had no idea whether I would actually turn back into a human I decided to have a little fun.

Looking down at the tiny ginger boys below me who were happily high fiving each other, I simply lifted my foot and placed it over their heads- noticing that a large shadow had moved right above them, they stopped congratulating each other and gazed fearfully up at me.

I didn’t know if an elephant could ever smirk, but at the look of their faces made me want to roll over and die laughing. But all too soon, I felt myself begin to shrink again. As my limbs shortened and I became over a tonne lighter in weight, I glared hatefully at the two boys in front of me, ignoring the students that were gathering around and applauding.

“Fred and George Weasley, I am going to kill you.” I bellowed. They looked at each other fearfully and began to cower back from me- which was kind of funny, considering how short I was compared to their towering frames… I drew my wand and then said; “You're going to pack me a massive bag of all the magical sweets you’ve got right now.”

They raised their eyebrows in confusion. “Sharing is caring, Gingies! And should you refuse, I’m sure I could let 'slip' my knowledge of your illegal activities to your mother.” I grinned triumphantly as they gasped.

“You wouldn’t!” Fred said fearfully.

“Oh. Are you willing to test that theory?” I smirked evilly and held out my hands, awaiting their hard earned treasure.

“That bloody twiglet has been hanging out with that evil Slytherin too much. Soon she’ll start hissing at us and calling us blood traitors.” Fred uttered under his breath as they rushed upstairs to gather their loot. He yelped as a string of blue flew over his head hitting the wall beside him.

“What was that!”

“Nothing!”

Minutes later, my mood had taken a massive 180- and I was hurtling towards the Slytherin common room, with a massive bag of sweets and chocolates in tow.