The Adventures of Gerard Way Vs. Soulja Boy

The sky was completely dark and Gerard was still walking down the bumpy road, nearly tripping over the numerous pot holes. Nothing had eaten him yet but he was still considering it as a possible option. The overwhelming silence didn't help things and he was just waiting for Freddie Krueger or some other creepy fucker to jump out and tear him apart. He couldn't take it anymore and he began to sing, reciting the first lines of whatever songs popped into his head.

"You've got this new head filled up with smoke... It's late at night and the moon is asleep... The bass, the rock, the mic, the treble..." The little game not only cleared the silence but Gerard found it quite fun. He even began to dance, switching to songs he knew from musicals.

"It's just a jump to the left and a step to the right! Put your hands on your hips! And bring your knees in tight!" As he pranced, he spun around in a circle, pelvic thrusting as he did so.

Thwack!

Gerard's face collided with a large sign that was inexplicably in the middle of the road. Rubbing his nose, he squinted, attempting to decipher the words in the faint light from the sliver of a moon.

"Soulja Hill," he read aloud. Gerard looked up. The forest had cleared away and in front of him were two large hills, each with a castle on top. The one on Gerard's left was a dark, gray, stone monster of a building, with jagged towers and broken windows. The one on his right however was lit up with dozens of strings of Christmas lights. Loud rap music poured out of the windows and Gerard nodded grimly, squaring his jaw once again. Soulja Boy was obviously in the latter castle. He started trudging up the path, ready for anything that came his way.

The closer he got to the castle, the louder the music got. There were dozens of people lounging on the front lawn, smoking and drinking or both. Not one of them acknowledged Gerard as he strode through the open front door. The music reverberated off of the stone walls and Gerard was surprised that the place wasn't falling apart from the strength of the bass. Even more people milled around in the main hallway but Gerard couldn't see Soulja Boy anywhere. He approached a young woman leaning up against the wall, holding a red cup of beer in her hand.

"Excuse me?" he asked loudly so that he could be heard over the noise. She flicked her hair out of her bloodshot eyes.

"Whaddya want?" she asked, slightly slurring the words.

"Do you know where I can find Soulja Boy?" As soon as the last words left his mouth, the entire party went silent. Everyone in the general vicinity whipped their heads around and stared, eyes full of bewilderment or what appeared to be pure hatred. This lasted for exactly five minutes and, just when Gerard thought he was going to lose what little sanity he had left, an elderly African-American man came out of the center of the crowd, laughing raucously.

"Did you say you're looking for Soulja Boy?" he asked. Gerard nodded and the man laughed even harder, bending in half at the waist. When he'd calmed down slightly, he stood back up, wiping his eyes.

"Son, you're in the wrong castle! That fucker doesn't hang out with us. He stays by himself in that building!" He gestured out the window towards the other castle, which was still dark and gray.

"Oh... thanks for the help then," Gerard said sheepishly, slowly backing away. The man winked at him and moved back into the crowd. The music started back up and everyone resumed their former positions, picking up in the middle of conversations. Gerard headed back down the hill, once again receiving no acknowledgment. As he walked, he glanced at the other, much more ominous castle.

"Why would anyone want to live in there?" he said to himself, staring up at it. "If I'd known things would have been this weird, I would have brought Frank."

After another twenty minutes, Gerard finally reached the top of the other hill, panting loudly. Up close, it was even more dark and forbidding. A bat even darted out of a high up window, disappearing into the night. Gerard half expected a storm to magically break out above him. Sighing, he stepped up to the massive set of double doors and tugged on the handle that was the size of his arm.

It was locked, of course. He groaned and stepped back to look for another way in. He found it in the form of the window the bat had flown out of. Many of the other windows were broken but it was the only one that didn't have jagged shards of glass sticking up like stalactites. He groaned and sat down on the ground, staring upwards.

Now how the hell was this going to happen?

****************************************************************************

The truth or dare game had ended and the members of Avenged and My Chem were sprawled across the 'living room,' watching a movie. Halfway through, Frank walked out from the bunk area, yawning extravagantly.

"Where the hell are we?" he asked. Nobody answered. He repeated the question and still received no answer. For good measure, he asked a third time and still, only silence.

"For fucks sake!" he screamed, stomping back into the bunks. Bob looked up from the television, glancing at the rippling curtain that separated the two areas.

"Did Frank just say something?" he asked.

"Dunno," Ray shrugged, eyes still glued to the television.

"Shut up, I can't hear Ewan McGregor sing!" Brian whined and the bus fell silent again.

Meanwhile, in the bunk area, Frank was sitting in Zacky's bunk, pouting like the child he was at heart.

"Did they say where we were?" Zacky asked, absently flicking through a comic book.

"No!" Frank yelled, sticking his lip out.

"Well, why not?"

"Because they're watching fucking Moulin Rouge!" Frank was about to launch into a speech on why musicals were a waste of time when he sat upright, eyes widening at an alarming rate. He leaned his head to one side, cupping his hand around his right ear like he was listening hard. Zacky peered over the top of his comic book, raising one eyebrow before returning to the book. He was used to Frank doing weird things.

"What's wrong?" he asked for good measure.

"I have to go," Frank replied, bolting from the bunk and yanking a shirt on. Even this statement only caught Zacky's attention because it was his shirt Frank was pulling on.

"Where?"

"I sense Gerard is in danger! Stop the bus!" he yelled, running out into the main area. The driver slammed on the brakes and Frank burst through the door. Nearly getting run over, he ran the opposite way, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Gerard! I'm coming!"