Broken Soul

It had mostly been a quiet day inside of Leighton's home. The vampires slept until sunset, Erick spent most of the time watching the property perimeter and Dannie basically was consumed in thought. She had many things to sort out and had no idea what to do with her feelings for Erick anymore. Dannie sat alone at the dining table, staring at the empty chair across from her as she lost her self in thought once again. The plate in front of her remained untouched. She had made her own meal and didn't even bother to eat it. Preparing the food had kept her temporarily preoccupied but now, she had too much on her mind to concentrate on eating.

The sound of footsteps woke her up from her thoughts and she was already up out of her seat before she heard her name being called. "Danielle!" Erick followed her up the stairs and she stormed into her room and closed the door but he pushed it back open. "Danielle, what's wrong? Why did you walk away from me?"

"Go away, Erick..." Dannie said as she looked out her window so she could face her back toward him.

"If that is what you wish," he replied and started to leave. Dannie felt terrible for shunning him away when he was reaching out to her.

"No, wait, I'm sorry," she apologized and they faced each other. It was difficult for her to look him in the eyes now. "I didn't mean to act that way."

"I was going to simply mention that you've been rather distant today," he declared.

"You spent all day outside," she reminded him.

"You were welcome to follow me," he told her. "I had actually expected you to."

"I didn't want to bother you." And once again, she turned away from him and faced the window and gazed at the red and purple sunset. "You actually expected my company?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I thought that maybe you would want to be with me after this morning," he said and she remembered how she had almost kissed him. "You had started opening up to me and got close to me. And then you spent the rest of the day avoiding me. If I have wronged you in any way since then, I-"

"No, Erick," she interrupted. "You didn't. You haven't done anything wrong. I'm sorry if I had confused you. I just needed some time alone to think."

"To think about what?" he wondered.

"You actually care?" she asked, not in a rude manner, but in a curious way. "Does a demon really have an interest in what goes on inside of a human's mind?"

"My apathy remains," he answered. "Although if it would console you to talk about it, I will listen."

Dannie didn't want to play his apathy game and she wished she could tell if he was lying or not. Instead of prying, she just stared at him as he slowly approached her and she said, "I just don't know what to believe anymore. I mean...a few months ago, everything made sense. My life was normal. I still haven't accepted that this is real. It's like everything I used to know, everything that I used to believe is wrong. What I used to know as fantasy is my reality. It's just hard to sort out. My best friend was turned into a vampire and there's nothing I can do to help him. I just feel useless."

"Didn't you say this last night?" he recalled. "I think you did, except you seemed much more ecstatic when you talked about it."

"Yeah, I did," she sighed and knew she couldn't look at him to say her next thought so she faced the window one more time. "I just don't know what's real or not anymore. For instance...I don't know if how I feel about you is even real." Dannie heard him step up right behind her. She held her breath and froze as he touched her hair and tangled a lock around his fingers and then whispered in her ear, "And how do you feel about me, Danielle?"

She remembered what Leighton said about how to Erick could tell if she simply thought about her feelings for him in front of him. So, she knew she couldn't look at him or be too specific. "Erick...I know you think you're a monster. And I haven't seen your true form. And for all I know, your human form could just be an illusion. I do know what you are. But to be honest, when I look at you, I don't even think about the fact that you're a demon. You just seem so human to me. And I'm never scared around you. All I've seen you do is good, never evil. But you insist that you're an evil being that has no feelings and is selfish and cruel. Yet, I've never seen you do anything that even comes close to resembling those words. I just don't know if the way I see you is real...or if it's an illusion; how you want me to see you. So, therefore, any feelings I might be harboring toward you might also be fabricated. It's just so hard to separate fact from fiction now and..."

"Danielle," Erick said softly and continued running his fingers through her hair, "do you believe I would intentionally deceive you?"

"You said yourself that you wanted to protect me from you," she remembered. "Or did you even mean that? Have you ever really been honest with me, Erick?"

"Danielle, look at me," he insisted and gently grasped her shoulders and turned her to face him. "You have only seen a certain side of me because I'm obligated to do what I'm told here. My actions are not my choice."

"But what if they were?" she asked him. "If you did have the choice to be good or evil, which would you choose?"

"I would do whatever I had to," he replied vaguely.

"No, Erick, that's not good enough," she remarked.

"Well, what do you want me to say?" he asked. "If you want to hear me tell you I'd do good, I could. But it would be a lie."

Dannie's disappointed gaze dropped to the floor as she said in a quiet voice, "Alright. I just wanted you to be honest. That's all."

"Danielle, I can't change who I am," he confessed and reached for her hand. She let him hold it and lost her breath at their contact. "I'm just an unearthly being who is waiting to be released. I do not care about anything else."

"I don't believe that," she declared, looking up at him. "If you didn't care about me, you wouldn't be standing so close to me like this. You wouldn't have even followed me into this room..."

"Isn't this what humans do when another person is in need of consolation?" he asked and placed his other hand on her face, making her tremble as he slowly glided his thumb over her cheek. "I have actually never comforted a human before. But I have witnessed others give embraces, entwined arms, simple touches, kisses..." Dannie's heart stopped after she heard him say that last word. "I have seen them but have never experienced any of them."

Dannie almost didn't believe that. "Really? Never?"

"Never," he confirmed. "I've never had to be this close to a human before. I never even went out of my way to converse with them if it wasn't necessary. You are the only exception."

This surprised her. "I am?"

"Yes," he nodded. "You aren't like any other human I've encountered. You have those permanent ink marks on your skin, metal piercings on your body and odd hair color. All of those traits are usually saved for those rebelling against human society. Yet, you're kind, unselfish and have more morality than anyone else I have known. You're a pure soul."

"You're making me sound like I'm a saint," she began to admit, "I'm not. Yes, I have tattoos and piercings but it's because I like them. And I color my hair because I just like how it looks. It has nothing to do with society or rules or rebelling. And I may be moral, but I'm not perfect. I've stolen, lied, cheated, used people to get what I want. But I learned from my mistakes and I try to make the best out of my life now. Because it's the right thing. Everyone does stupid things in their lives. I just don't think those mistakes should define who I am now."

"Still, you always have put your friend before yourself," he reminded her. "You're facing monsters every day to keep him alive. And you're sharing your soul with him. If that's not the definition of a saint, then I don't know what is."

"Wait, you know about that?"

He nodded again. "I did."

"Did Ravyn tell you?"

"Yes."

"Erick, do you know how I could help him?" she asked desperately. "Please tell me if you do..."

"I don't," he replied and Dannie's heart sank. "But don't give up."

"I won't," she promised. "I never will." The room fell silent as Dannie leaned her head on Erick's chest and closed her eyes for a long moment. Erick hesitated but finally wrapped his arms around her. Dannie softly smiled at the feeling of his embrace.

A knock at the door once again interrupted them. And like before, it was Amanda telling Dannie that Leighton requested her presence. She left without a word and went straight to his study. He wasted no time and took a little more blood from her. After he healed her marks, she asked, "Leighton, are we really safe here?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, after the fire last night and that demon attack, I just think it might be for the best if we go somewhere else for a while and hide."

"A vampire is safest in his own home," Leighton told her. "At least from other vampires. Demons are much harder to protect it from. The one that attacked you last night may be dead by now since it came in direct contact with that cross."

"What if another comes?" she worried.

"Just keep that cross on you," he advised. "You will be protected. The rest of us will have to find our own means."

"What about Amanda? Is she protected?"

"I'll look after her," he promised. "Don't worry about us, love." He gave her a warm smile, reassuring his words. A small half-smile was returned on Dannie's face. It had unsureness written all over it but she tried to have faith that they would be safe.