We'll Feel So Alive

I groaned as I woke up. My eyes bore through the window that was letting all the sunlight in before I yawned and sat up. I looked to my left and noticed that Dakota wasn’t in the room.

The memory of last night flew through my head and I felt my stomach dropped as I remembered what I had said to her. I shouldn’t have been that nasty. Day is my best friend.

“Shoot.” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes again and slipping out of the bed. I sighed before pulling my at the ends of my brown hair before heading out of the room. The door to Kent’s room was still closed, and there was no other noise so I crept down the stairs.

I thought of words to say, knowing that I had to apologize to her. Nothing came to mind, and by the time that I got to the bottom of the stairs I knew I was going to have to wing it. I gulped and peeked into the kitchen, noting that no one was there and then made my way to the living room.

I could see a figure on the couch, and figuring that it was Day, I went up to it. But when I got closer, I could see arms wrapped around her middle. And when I was right up next to them, I could see Dakota cuddled up with Kyle. My stomach dropped, and I shook my head.

Figures that she’d be shacking up with him. I glared at the two sleeping before turning and running back up the stairs. I pulled my suitcase onto the bed and pulled out a pair of black skinnies and blue and black top, changing quickly. The silver charm bracelet that Dakota gave me slid on my arm, and I thought a moment about taking it off. I even started to fiddle with the clasp, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I shoved my phone into my pocket along with a few dollars, slipped on some shoes and then ran from the house. I just couldn’t stand to be there any longer. Having no idea where I was headed, I made my way down the streets.

You shouldn’t be mad at Day.

Yes I should, she couldn’t care less about me when he’s around.

You hurt her feelings.

She hurt mine.

I bit my lip as I made my way down the lonely streets. The sun was beating down on me, and I greatly regretted wearing black. I sighed and grabbed the end of my hair, tugging lightly as I looked down the street wondering which way to go. My tongue clicked in my mouth as I was about to turn around.

“Izzy, is that you?” a guy asked from behind me, I braced myself before quickly turning around and seeing Jonathan.

I let out a sigh of relief. “Hey Jonathan,” I smiled, “yeah it’s Izzy.”

He smiled widely before crossing the front lawn and embracing me in a tight hug. “What are you doing out by yourself so early?” he asked once he let go.

“Just, uh, going for a walk.” I nodded, rocking back on my heels. I pushed my hair off my shoulder, wishing that I had a pony tail as I squinted up at Jonathan.

“Care if I join you?” he asked, and when I shook my head he offered me his arm. I laughed and took it, and we made our way down the road. “That’s Austin’s house, and Kyle lives there.” Jonathan told me, pointing to the two houses.

“You all live close together.” I commented, looking down the bright street. Little kids were starting to come out and parents were leaving for work. The neighborhood was waking up.

“We didn’t really know it until we started the band.” he laughed.

We walked a few more blocks, my hand found its way to my pocket and my feet were dragging. The only thing that was going through my mind was Dakota and how mad I was.

“Jonathan!” a girl called. He immediately stopped and opened his arms, just in time for her to jump into them.

“How are you honey?” he asked, hugging her tight.

“I’m good.” she replied, pulling away and kissing him softly. “Just got back from my grandma’s.”

“Mm, that’s good.” he said, kissing her again. I bit into my lip and watched the two. I seriously thought about making my way back to Kent’s, giving Day the evil eye and locking myself in the room we were sharing, but the girl caught me before I could.

“And who is this?” she asked, turning towards me. Her southern accent could have given Jonathan’s a run for his money. Her blonde hair was tucked behind her ear and her blue eyes pierced into my brown ones.

“This is Izzy, she’s Kent’s friend’s friend.” Jonathan answered, his arm was draped around her middle.

“Kent’s friend’s friend huh?” she asked, a small laugh. “That’s so unbelievable that I’m going to believe it.”

“I really am.” I quickly said, once again grabbing at the ends of my hair and pulling the soft brown locks through my fingers. “I’m Dakota’s friend, even though you probably don’t know her, we’re from Ohio, we’ll I’m from Ohio, she was from here originally and…and.”

She laughed, cutting me off, “I believe you. I believe you.” she tucked her arm inside of Jonathan’s. “Should we should her around town?”

He nodded and looked over at me “You still up for it?”

“Yeah sure.” What’s better than being the third wheel?

“I’m Hope, by the way.” she smiled, offering her hand to me. I softly took it and smiled at her, wishing that I never left the room. “How about we go downtown?” Hope asked as her and Jonathan started walking down the sidewalk.

“Sure.” I said, sticking my hands in my pockets and following behind them.

They were walking in front me, talking sickenly cute to each other. Their hands were joined together, as were their arms and it seemed their legs, and sides were too. I rolled my eyes and kept my pace with theirs.

We slowed down as the shops started to appear. My eyes lit up as I saw a coffee shop, and I managed to slip into it without Jonathan and Hope noticing. She was nice, don’t get me wrong, but I just can’t be around a couple right now.

I ordered my normal coffee and fumbled with the money in my pocket, trying to smooth out the crinkled dollars before handing them to the girl. I stood to the side of the counter and waited for my order to be up. My body relaxed as the warm cup hit my hand. I smiled in thanks before turning and taking a sip.

My eyes scanned the tables, looking for an empty one that wasn’t too close to the windows, in case Jonathan and Hope noticed that I was gone. I saw one near the back and made my way towards it. As I got closer I noticed the couple in the table next to it, just my luck. I was pulling the chair out when I noticed it was Caleb sitting with some girl with blonde hair. She was draped on his arm, a large smile on her face as she leaned in and kissed him.

A squeak of shock escaped my lips, and my beloved coffee slipped from my hands and crashed on the floor. The girl pulled away from Caleb, and he looked down at the floor where the brown liquid was meshing with my shoes. His eyes started to make his way up my legs, my torso and finally landed on my face. Our eyes met, his turned wide. He looked shocked, guilty. I bit my lip and turned, running out of the coffee shop without even muttering a sorry for the spilt coffee.

My feet slapped against the sidewalk as I sprinted back to Kent’s house. Sweat was dripping from me as I flung the front door open and ran up the stairs, slamming the door Dakota and I were sharing. I leapt onto the bed and pulled the covers over my head. Tears broke free from my eyes, and I was wishing that they would go away when someone knocked on the door.

“Izzy?” Dakota softly asked.

I threw the covers off my body and turned to face her. “Day.” I moaned, reaching towards her.

“Oh Iz.” she sighed, shutting the door behind her and sitting next to me on the bed. Her arms wrapped around me and I buried my face in her shoulder.

“You were right.” I cried, not believing how upset I was over this boy that I barely knew. “I saw him at the coffee shop, kissing some girl.” I blubbered. "I'm so sorry that I was mean to you. I should have listened!" I whined, sounding much younger than I am.

"It's okay." She said, patting my hair. "It's okay."

I sniffled and shoved my face farther into her shoulder. Dakota just rubbed my back and mumbled a few words, then she hummed an old song that her mom used to hum to her whenever she was sick. It was very comforting, and soon I felt myself falling asleep.