Seize the Day

“Ho-ly shit,” I breathed, drawing out the word “holy” into at two full separate words. “Are you kidding me?” I heard silence on the other end of the phone, telling me he’d hung up. I opened the door, staring.

“Nope, I’m not kidding,” he beamed, walking up the front steps. “You said,” he started, before halting his words suddenly. “Wow, you look amazing.” I blushed bright red as he looked me up and down. “Really amazing,” he trailed off.

“Thanks,” I said softly. I tried to clear my head. “Anyway, you were saying?”

“Right. I was saying that you told me you didn’t want any more limos, which got me thinking.” He gestured out the door at the car. “You’re right. Who needs a limo full of other people to make an entrance? This way, there’s no doubt who you’re with tonight.”

Fuck. That is not what I had in mind when I said no limos! I tried to remain cool and collected. He had yet again twisted things around so that he got his way. “I guess you have a point there,” I sighed.

“You ok? You almost look disappointed.” He had tensed up again, trying to feel out my response.

“I’m fine. I’m just not used to someone putting all this effort into anything for me,” I said. “And I’m not just playing the damsel in distress here. It’s really, honestly throwing me for a fucking loop. In a good way, but still.” I had to concentrate hard not to stare blankly into his eyes, and turn to mush. The fact that I was now barely an inch shorter than him, almost exactly at eye level, wasn’t helping.

“Well, what do you say we get on our way,” he said, holding out his hand.

“Let’s do it,” I answered, putting mine into his.

“Sorry for making things so complicated,” he said as I locked Sara’s door.

“Don’t be,” I answered. “It’s nice. I just wasn’t ready for it. I handle surprises about as well as I handle crowds and compliments. I need some liquor first.” I laughed at myself. It was funny, because it was true.

“I’ll remember that for the future,” he said, holding open the passenger door, waiting for me to get inside the car.

The future? What in the hell? I’m going back to Kentucky in like four days, leaving all of this dream world behind me. My brain was spinning a thousand miles a minute. He shut the door, walked around to the driver’s side, and eased into the seat.

“You’d be better off just to leave surprises out of it,” I told him. I decided to change the subject. “So, your show tonight. I assume that it’s not quite going to be the full hour or two pyromaniac’s wet dream show I’ve already seen, right?”

It worked. He chuckled. “Correct. It’s a 5 song set, no pyro, no big light rigs, just us on a stage in front of a bunch of studio and label suits.” He shrugged. “I don’t even know why they do these fucking showcases. If people don’t already know who’s on what label, they don’t care enough. Shouldn’t be a chance for a panic attack, either,” he said with a wink.

“That’s good.” I wouldn’t survive if I had a panic attack in front of these guys. I’d just plain and simple die.

“Oh, by the way, Syn wanted me to ask what he did this time to deserve the death threat?” he asked.

“Looks like I owe him an apology,” I replied. “And that you’ll need to look for a rhythm guitarist, not a lead.” I smiled smugly.

“Uh-oh, what did Zack do?” he teased.

“Apparently, he got a hold of my phone at some point last Friday night, and, uh, changed some settings.” I wasn’t about to tell him what had actually been done. “My first guess was that it was Syn, hence the death threat, but Zack owned up to it today, so he’s off the hook.”

“He’ll be thrilled to know,” Matt said. “Another by the way, you really do look amazing. Not that I had any doubts.” He reached his hand out to rest it on my leg.

“Thank you,” I sighed. I think I could get used to this, I thought to myself, before I caught it. No! There’s nothing to get used to. You’re leaving in four days. Stop it.

He must have felt me tense up. “Just relax, you’re going to have a blast, I promise,” he said. “And if you’re not, we can leave.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fun. I just can’t get over the fact that it’s happening at all,” I said.

“Well, better go ahead and get over it, we’re almost here.” He pointed a couple blocks up the road, at a large building, with a larger crowd gathered in front of it.

Moment of truth, V. Suck it up, and go on. These internal pep talks were becoming all to frequent with me lately. Slap on that smile and dazzle ‘em all. Besides, who gives a shit; you’ve got the all-time best accessory ever tonight. I grinned at that thought.

“Here we go,” he said, as he put the car in park. “Don’t even think about it,” he nagged as I reached for the door handle.

“Fine!” I sighed. I was going to have to get used to it, just for another couple of hours.

He opened his door, exited the car, had a brief conversation with the valet, one that I’m pretty sure included threats of bodily harm if any damage was done to this exquisite piece of mechanical engineering, and rounded to open the passenger door for me.

Here we go is right, I said silently. Don’t let them get to you. I’d just noticed the crowd of cameras and reporters. Of course they were going to want to know who I was. I was a shiny new toy, thrust in the faces of the whole kindergarten class. “I should have had another drink,” I whispered to him as he helped me out of the car.

“You’ll be fine,” he promised. “You’ve already won me over, these bitches are the easy ones.” He looked directly into my eyes, and smiled that smile again. I couldn’t help but believe him that everything would be ok.

”Just don’t let me fall. I’m clumsy, remember?” I steadied myself on the car door and on his arm.

”Deal,” was all he said. It was all he had to say.

I got out of the car and we walked through the gauntlet hand in hand. He stopped to sign a couple of autographs here and there. Photos were taken, but I made sure to keep my most graceful smile and the best posture I could, and kept my mouth shut, at least until we were inside the door. As soon as we crossed into the building, I let out a huge sigh. It was like I’d been holding my breath the whole way. Maybe I was, I couldn’t remember.

”See? That wasn’t so bad was it?” he asked, still holding my hand. I glared at him for only a second before he chuckled and added, “Bar’s over here.” I almost dragged him in that direction.

On the way to the bar, we caught up with Sara and the rest of the crew. A new round of introductions was necessary, as I’d still not met Michelle, Lacey, and Gena, or Josh, the session drummer filling in with them for the show.

“Girls, this is Vivienne. V, the girls,” Matt directed vaguely. “And this is Josh. He’s done a great job at learning our shit so that we can still play these kinds of things when Portnoy isn’t available.” The two men did their dude handshake-hug, and chatted for a minute.

Sara cut through the group and handed me a shot glass full of my favorite amber elixir. “I figured you’d probably need a shot of Jack after I saw the gauntlet out there,” she said, using the same term for the press mob that I’d used in my head.

“My god, you are a fucking saint!” I exclaimed, hugging her lightly, so as not to waste the liquor. I tossed back the shot without so much as a shudder and relaxed as I felt the burning tingle all the way down my throat. “Better,” I said. “Thanks. So what’s the plan for the evening?” I asked, directing the question at Matt and the guys.

I took a moment to look around the room. It was an old converted club, from what I could tell, and could have easily felt right at home in the Distillery District back home in Lexington. It was a decently sized venue, but by no means an arena. The space would hold around 2,000 people, I guessed. The stage took up the entire wall at the far end of the room, and was raised about four feet off the floor. The main floor was much brighter than a regular club venue, though, with about half of the house lights still up, so people could mingle and chat. The first couple of bands were new signees, so the volume for their sets was not turned up as high as the last three would be.

“The Berrys already have us soundchecked and ready to go,” Brian said, “so we’re good until we play. We’re last on the bill, five bands in front of us.”

“Until then, we just hang out and schmooze,” Zack added.

“I’m still not talking to you, sir,” I told him. He just smirked. I turned to Brian. “I, however, owe you an apology. I take back, for now anyway, the threats I made against your life. It turns out that it was Zacky V. who should have been the brunt of those all along. And for this, I am terribly sorry.” I made a low curtsy at the end of my speech. The entire group burst into laughter. I just grinned.

“Apology accepted. But what didn’t I do to not deserve to be threatened?” Brian asked.

“Just never you mind. It’s all been taken care of,” I said, glaring at Zack. He ducked behind Gena in an effort to escape.

The next couple of hours were spent talking to executives, other bands, the lucky couple hundred fans that were able to get in, the press and other random people I’d never met, nor would ever meet again in all likelihood. Matt never got further than an arm’s length away from my side, and was much closer than that for most of the event, even so far as standing with one or the other of his arms around my shoulders or waist on several occasions. When Sara was sure he wasn’t looking, she kept shooting me her kissy faces, or a middle finger here and there. She was definitely enjoying herself, and was enjoying the attention she was getting as a by-product of standing in the middle of a group of men who was to be the headlining band at a large label’s showcase show. Just being in the midst of all these show business moguls was all she’d ever asked.

Myself, on the other hand, I was not quite as keen on the attention. It had been obvious from the start that I was there as Matt’s guest, not just a friend of the band, and just as obvious, through the hand-holding and whatnot, that date was the more proper designation. Of course, this drew all manner of reporter cameras and questions, which Matt was more than well-versed in handling. He did a terrific job introducing me as “V, a friend,” all the while never mentioning my full name, and deflecting those questions to turn the interview to a more musically-related topic.

When Muse, who was the fifth band in line, went onstage, Matt signaled to the rest of the A7X crew that it was time to head to the dressing room and get ready for the show. “Do you want to watch from the side of the stage, or from the floor?” he asked me.

“Doesn’t matter to me. Sara, what do you think?” I passed the decision off onto Sara, knowing that she would have a far stronger opinion on the matter.

“Well, I’ve never seen them at all, so I’d say from the floor,” she mused. “Unless you want to be up here side-stage. That would be cool as well. Either way, I’m good.”

Shit. You were supposed to decide! I grumbled in my head. “How about both? We’ll start on the stage, and then mosey to the floor?” I suggested.

“Yeah!” Sara exclaimed. “Is that ok?” She was asking Matt’s permission.

“Sounds like a great idea,” Matt said, beaming again. “I’ll let the security guys know what you’re doing, so they don’t mess with you. You can come hang out with us for awhile still, if you want.” I’d just noticed that all of the girls had followed the band into the dressing room area.

“Um, duh!” Sara shouted, and pushed past him to follow the rest of the group.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled quietly to me. He caught my hand, and we walked to the backstage dressing room.

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We hung out backstage, chatting with Michelle, Lacey, and Gena while the guys got into rockstar stage mode. “We’ll follow them out onto the stage, and watch from the side,” Michelle told me. “That’s usually where we hang out anyway.”

“We got sick of getting smashed on the floor, so we protested coming to shows until they let us onstage,” Lacey laughed.

“Thank you! Good night!” we heard Matt Bellamy say to the crowd.

“Ok, guys, that’s us,” Matt said. He looked over at me and Sara, standing in the corner. “You ready for this?”

“Iiiit’s showtime!” I trilled, making jazz hands at my sides. It was a hobby of mine to insert Tim Burton movie quotes into any conversation possible. The opportunity to use my favorite line from Beetlejuice was just too perfect.

“I love that movie,” Johnny Christ yelled from the opposite corner of the room, pumping his fist in the air. Everyone else just laughed.

“Showtime it is,” Zack said. The guys all huddled up in the center of the room, doing their pre-show ritual, one that seemed ages old. It involved a quick shout-out to their missing brother-in-arms Jimmy, wherever he was, and a couple of chants.

“Ok, you can hang out at the side of the stage and watch, and then go down onto the floor later if you want,” Matt said as they were heading out the door. “It’s up to you.”

“Sounds good,” I said to him. “Uh, break a leg? Well, I mean, don’t actually break any limbs, but you know what I mean.”

“Enjoy the show.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

It was a good thing Sara was standing right next to me, or I’d very likely have fallen straight over onto the floor. As it was, the guys were already out the door, and we were following the girls down the hallway to the stage entrance.

“Jesus god, how in the world did I end up here?” Sara asked.

“Oh, you know people who know people, that’s all,” I answered her with a smirk.

“No, apparently, I know bitches who date people,” she hissed, winking. “You are just about the luckiest fucker alive. You know that, right?”

“I believe I do,” I answered. “Until tomorrow when I wake up and this past two weeks was all a big fucking elaborate dream.”

“Shut up and pay attention!” she yelled, as the lights went down and Matt took a seat behind an organ. “They’re starting!”

“Critical Acclaim” was their first song. As Sara stood next to me, rocking out, I sang along every word to the song. Next was “Nightmare,” the first single off their newest album. Of course I’d seen both of these songs played live before, but this was different. Obviously, it was different because of my vantage point. Being actually on same stage, standing just feet away from them was different, but it was something else. Knowing them as well as I had come to in the short time since I’d met them, these guys were my friends. It reminded me of the times I used go to clubs and be one of only ten or so people to show up and watch my friends’ bands play in the local scene. It wasn’t Avenged Sevenfold up there, they were just another band I was friends with. Then of course, there was the all-new feeling of having been kissed by the lead singer just before they took the stage.

I peeked around the edge of the stage where we were standing to look at the crowd. While it wasn’t the several thousand screaming fans that were present the last two times I’d seen them grace a stage, but it wasn’t a small gathering of friends, either. There were still plenty of crying fans and moshers, it just wasn’t the production I’d witnessed before. It was much more intense, more intimate.

When the ringing of bells signaling the beginning of “Beast and the Harlot” echoed throughout the venue, Sara decided she’d had enough of staring at Syn’s profile, and wanted to go to the floor. After motioning to the girls what we were doing, we asked the security guards to escort us down to the front of the crowd. We took our spots directly against the barrier just in time for the first chorus, and for Zacky and Syn’s dueling guitars. Since we’d planted ourselves front and center, directly in front of them, they made sure to make a scene at us. Sara was really enjoying herself, and I was glad to see it. It was definitely interesting seeing Matt run and jump around. I couldn’t help it but to laugh in several instances, between Matt’s antics, Johnny trying really hard to be a badass, and Zacky & Brian’s sex faces while playing guitar. It really was a great time. In the downtime before the next song, Matt noticed that we’d moved, and flashed those dimples right at me, and then addressed the crowd, thanking them for being there and thanking the label.

Because of all of this, being as I had used all of my attention span on Matt, I hadn’t noticed Zack switching to an acoustic guitar until I heard him sing the first couple of lines, as he usually did with opening notes of “Seize the Day.” For some reason, I hadn’t expected them to play it. I instantly was almost in tears. As the song picked up, growing in intensity, I refused to think that the reason they had decided to play it had anything to do with me. You’re reading too much into this, V, I told myself. There’s no way they played that song just for you. It’s one of their most popular songs, of course they’re playing it tonight. I tried to refuse, anyway, until just as he sang the words that he’d sung directly to me personally less than a week ago, Matt pointed and winked at me, shooting me that perfect smile just to punctuate the line.

“Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don’t want to die alone without you here. Please tell me what we have is real.”

I’m pretty sure I melted into a huge puddle of nothing at that point, as he emphasized the word we by pointing back and forth between himself and me. Sara looked over at me grinning.

“Did he just sing that to you?” she screamed over the music.

I could only nod. Nod and smile. Grin would be a better way to say it; grinning like a fool, actually. Tears were still flowing, but they were a mix of sad, nostalgic tears and happy tears. What had always been a very serious, somber song for me had suddenly changed meanings, becoming just as serious, but in a whole new way.

After they finished “Seize the Day,” “Unholy Confessions” was the finale. As one of my all-time favorite songs of theirs, I forced myself to stop the waterworks, and Sara and I created our own little mosh pit, slam-dancing the whole way through the tune. Zacky even messed up his one and only claim-to-fame guitar lick and Johnny nearly missed a bass cue because they were laughing at us.

After the song and the set were over, the security guards ushered us back to the dressing room area. Matt thanked the crowd, fans and execs, once more, and the boys exited the stage. Once they entered the room, Sara was gushing to them about how fantastic their set was, totally being an uber-fan. It was cute, really. Of course, each of them was supremely gracious about receiving the compliments. Amazingly, as famous as they’d become, none of them had let it get to their heads. They were still insanely level-headed, and still took any criticism and flattery directly to heart. I made a round, hugging each of them and kissing them each on the cheek, congratulating them on a great set as well.

Matt was the last person I came to. "So, what did you think? Enjoy the show?" he asked, grinning mischievously.

"I did," was all I could muster as I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. His strong, muscular arms returned the gesture, squeezing gently, as if he was afraid of breaking me. I kissed him on the cheek just as I'd done to the other three band members, but the peck drew a different reaction this time. Two different reactions, actually -- his and mine. With the other three guys, they’d giggled, thanked me, and returned the smooch quickly. Matt, on the other hand, just tightened his grip on me and held me there. In turn, my reaction involved a quickening heartbeat, and a blush I could almost feel to my toes.

“Good. I’m glad,” he whispered into my ear, as I rested my head on his shoulder. I think both of us had forgotten there were other people standing in the room.

“All right, you two. Break it up.” Sara poked me in the ribs. “We’ve got some partying to do, don’t we?” She was absolutely ecstatic at the night that lay ahead of her. Matt and I both laughed.

“Fair enough,” I said, glaring at her. Matt and I separated, but he still kept an arm around my shoulders. “Boys,” I called to the other side of the room. “You have copious amounts of liquor to purchase for this little bitch,” I said, patting Sara on the head.

“She wasn’t around for Phase 1 of ‘Operation Avenged Sevenfold Party Time,’” Matt added, finger quotes around the newly christened code name. “But she’s sure as hell here for Phase 2. Let’s welcome her to the family, shall we?”

A round of cheers erupted from the group of men including Zack, Brian, Johnny, the Berrys, and Josh the drummer.

“It’s time to get schwasted!” Brian yelled, winking at me.

“Oh god, you’ve got them saying that now too?” Sara asked incredulously.

The guys all laughed. “She used it last week, and I, for one, love it,” Brian said. “It’s forever in my vocabulary now.” He looked at me and shrugged. “What? Doesn’t she like it?”

“Actually, she hates it when I say ‘schwasted,’” I explained to him, deliberately using the word anyway. “Nearly smacked Alex the first time she heard it.”

“Whatever,” Zack chimed in. “We like it, we’re saying it. Fuck, we’re doing it. Let’s get schwasted!” he yelled, holding up a hand, inviting Sara to high-five him.

She left him hanging as she turned on her heel and stalked toward the door. “Well, if we’re getting drunk, we better fucking get started. I’m thirsty,” she said over her shoulder.

A chorus of boos, jeers, and “oooohs” echoed through the room, as the guys teased Zacky about being left high and dry. He stood there watching her leave, mouth hanging open.

“That was cold, man,” Johnny said with a smile. “I like her.” With that, everyone started filing through the door, after Sara. I started to follow until I realized Matt wasn’t moving. As big and imposing as I seemed in my heels, he had me beat in bulk. The fact that his arm was still encircling the top half of my body made it so that when he didn’t move, I didn’t move.