Status: Accepting authors.
You Are Loved
Dear Nic
Dear Nic,
Can I start off by saying I love you? I know it might not ever seem like it and the two of us have had our ups and downs, but it's true. Always have, always will.
You've always been a good big brother. You were there for me this summer in a way no one else was. I wish I could say the same for myself.
I remember when mom told me. I was 12. We were in the kitchen, and she came right out and said it. "Yeah, you know the way Alex is? Nicky is too."
It never really mattered to me. I was always proud. Going to a parochial school was difficult from the beginning, because I felt so fundamentally different right from the start. Mom told me throughout grade school that it was best that no one knew you were gay. That idea changed in high school however. I changed.
I was sick of hearing gay-bashing every other day and listening to "fag" and "gay" used in conversation as though they were just regular adjectives. I don't think you ever knew, but I risked losing my friends almost every day by standing up and saying, "Don't you ever say that around me again. Do you use the N-word? I didn't think so. So shut up and find a new adjective."
Those years of idiotic high school ignorance got me thinking about what it was like for you. I have no doubt it was probably one of the most difficult things you've ever come to terms with in your life. You went to an all-boys christian high school, you hated your body, mom had just married Matt (who isn't accepting of homosexuality by a long shot), and you certainly didn't need me in the picture. It saddens me to think that you might have ever contemplated suicide. I'm just happy you're still around. You're a testament to "things get better".
Thank you for sticking around Nic. Now I get the privilege to point to you and say "That's my big brother". I love you Nicky. Always have always will.
You are loved.
Love,
Alley-cat
Can I start off by saying I love you? I know it might not ever seem like it and the two of us have had our ups and downs, but it's true. Always have, always will.
You've always been a good big brother. You were there for me this summer in a way no one else was. I wish I could say the same for myself.
I remember when mom told me. I was 12. We were in the kitchen, and she came right out and said it. "Yeah, you know the way Alex is? Nicky is too."
It never really mattered to me. I was always proud. Going to a parochial school was difficult from the beginning, because I felt so fundamentally different right from the start. Mom told me throughout grade school that it was best that no one knew you were gay. That idea changed in high school however. I changed.
I was sick of hearing gay-bashing every other day and listening to "fag" and "gay" used in conversation as though they were just regular adjectives. I don't think you ever knew, but I risked losing my friends almost every day by standing up and saying, "Don't you ever say that around me again. Do you use the N-word? I didn't think so. So shut up and find a new adjective."
Those years of idiotic high school ignorance got me thinking about what it was like for you. I have no doubt it was probably one of the most difficult things you've ever come to terms with in your life. You went to an all-boys christian high school, you hated your body, mom had just married Matt (who isn't accepting of homosexuality by a long shot), and you certainly didn't need me in the picture. It saddens me to think that you might have ever contemplated suicide. I'm just happy you're still around. You're a testament to "things get better".
Thank you for sticking around Nic. Now I get the privilege to point to you and say "That's my big brother". I love you Nicky. Always have always will.
You are loved.
Love,
Alley-cat
♠ ♠ ♠
For my brother <3