Under the City Lights

“You are so in over your head.”

“What?” I asked, turning away from my computer screen to face Asher.

“You. Are. So. In. Over. Your. Head.” he said. “You’ve pretty much fallen for the guy already and you don’t even know his name!”

“I know, Asher!” I said. “You think I don’t know that I’m letting myself get too attached to him?”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt.” Asher said. “You’re my best friend, and I love to see you happy, but I hate seeing you hurt.”

“I appreciate your concern, but can I just be excited right now?” I said.

“Why would you be excited?”

“Come read this.”

I watched Asher’s eyes grow wider as he read to the bottom of the email.

“You have a definite reason to be excited!” Asher said. “If he’s asking about your sexuality, he’s obviously thought about you two together! I’m so proud of you! You’ve managed to get a guy interested in you without him ever seeing your picture!”

“I know, but what if he doesn’t like me? What if he’s just gay? What if he has a boyfriend?” I asked.

“Well, why would he ask out of the blue like that?” Asher asked. “It’s probably what he was thinking about at the time.”

“I’m going to ask him if he’s had a boyfriend before.” I said. “That way I can find out if he’s single without seeming like a creeper.

I typed up my response quickly, adding my question at the end, telling him I’d never had a boyfriend before because I’m pretty sure I’m the only gay guy in my entire town.

I clicked the send button and bit my lip, turning to face Asher.

“What if he thinks I’m creepy for asking?”

“He’s probably thinking the same thing right now about his question.” Asher said. “Trust me, he won’t just stop replying from that.”

“I guess not.”

“You’ve got a new email.” Asher said, pointing to the screen behind my head.

I turned around in my swivel chair so quickly that I was worried I’d gotten whiplash.

I smiled to myself and opened up the email, almost bouncing in my seat I was so excited.

“I’ve never seen you this peppy.” Asher said. “Normally, I’m the one that bounces. He must really be something if he’s got you this excited.”

“He really is.” I sighed.

I sounded like a little schoolgirl with her first crush, but I couldn’t help it. It just happened.

“I don’t think it’s creepy at all. I’ve never had a boyfriend, either. My dad is pretty homophobic, so he wouldn’t appreciate it too much. I’m too scared he’d find out if I did anything secret either, so I just keep to myself most of the time.

What about you? I know you said there weren’t any gay guys in your town, but you must have met someone who you’ve liked. What happened there?

That wasn’t your question though. I’m going to ask two today, ‘cause I’m evil.

Question: Do you believe in love?

My Answer: I hope so. From my experience, it doesn’t exist. But I really, really want it to… And I’m starting to think it might…

Your Blog Assignment”

I squealed a bit inside and started bouncing again.

“Lemme see!” Asher whined. He’d been trying to push me out of the way since I’d started reading.

I moved over a bit and smiled even wider, thinking about what My Blog Assignment had said. Is it at all possible that I was what was making him reconsider his thoughts on love?Not a chance. But I could hope. And dream…

“He totally likes you.” Asher said. “I’m serious.”

“I know you are.” I said. “I’m just insecure. And I’m not letting something like that get in my head until I at least know his name.”

“Then that should be your next question.” Asher said.

“I can’t just ask him.” I said. “He’ll probably say no.”

“Then ask when he’ll tell you.” Asher said. “Then he can say no and not feel guilty.”

“You’re brilliant.” I said, smiling again.

I swung around to face my computer and started typing furiously.

“Hey, Blog Assignment.

I’m glad you don’t think I’m creepy. That’s always a plus, haha.

I don’t think you’re evil at all. Quite the contrary.

I think I do. I know it exists, but the question is whether it exists in my life or not. I hope it does, and things are starting to look up.

My question is a little pushy today, and feel free to say never, but I’d like an answer.

Question: When do you think you’ll be able to tell me your name? It’s getting weird when I’m talking to my friend, Asher (who says hi, by the way), about you.

Answer: I hope soon…

Also, I’m slightly worried about your dad. He doesn’t sound like that good of a guy. Promise to let me know if anything bad happens?

-Bridger”

“You’re so flirty with other gay guys.” Asher said. “And protective. It’s weird.”

“You think I should change it?” I said, biting my lip.

“Nonono.” Asher said. “It’s not weird for him, I bet, but it’s strange for me to see it. It doesn’t happen very often.”

“Well, I don’t exactly have the opportunity to flirt in this town, now do i?” I mumbled. “I wish I had more occasion to, but noooo, all the guys here have to be straight.”

“Don’t be hatin’.” Asher said. “You’re just jealous.”

“Maybe a little bit.” I sighed. “I just… I see you with Abby and I imagine what it would be like to have a boyfriend that I could hold and kiss whenever I wanted.”

“Aww, Bridgey.” Asher said. “I understand if you didn’t want Abby and I doing PDA around you.”

“No, that’s all right.” I said. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just… I feel so alone sometimes.”

“I can’t say I understand, ‘cause I don’t like it up the ass, but I get you.” he said, a teasing tone in his voice.

“Thanks, man.” I said. “Nice confidence boost.”

“You’re welcome, my little faggot.”

I need to find better friends.