World So Cold

Third room.

Sigh.

This was boring me already. It was just...depressing. Not that I wasn’t already expecting it to be like that, but once you’re here, once the atmosphere actually kicks in, then it really hits you. The ward staff were chirpy enough of course, they had to be. Walls covered in cheap paintings didn’t really suffice to lift the mood.

I’d been instructed to “keep the patients happy”, but how can I achieve that if I’m not happy myself? I felt like crying already, and Dante Steel never cries. The first room I’d visited, I’d exited within the first five minutes. I just couldn’t take it. I gave the frail elderly woman her flowers from her grandson, and then just got the fuck out of there, before I could break down and sob at the terrible situation she was in.

The second room had been better. The patient was a middle-aged woman, sitting up in her bed, looking pretty happy with herself. She’d just had the news that the cancer was all gone; that she could live a happy, cancer-free life. We had a lengthy discussion about candy, too, and even played cards. She won.

A small child’s wailing could be heard even from halfway down the corridor. I was about to poke my head in the door and yell at whoever’s child it was to make their little brat stop, because quite frankly, it was doing my head in. I bit back my anger however when I realised the horrific noise was coming from room three, the very next one I had to visit.
I pushed my shades onto my forehead, annoyingly pinning my fringe back, but that really didn’t matter right now.

What mattered was that I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the earth-bound Angel propped up by large, over-fluffy pillows in the bed. He had an oxygen tube running across his pale cheeks, linked up to his nose.

His hair, light brown in colour, was hanging limply to either side of his face, framing slightly gaunt features. I’m sure his hair would’ve once been shiny, worthy of a hair ad.
Stick-like arms protruded from elbow length sleeves, a hint of torso just as skeletal drowned by swathes of green hospital gown. It was heart-wrenching, to see such a perfect creature wrought with disease.

He glanced up and met my scanning gaze.

I froze.

They were…they were just…beautiful.

Several shades of blue sparkled in his captivating eyes, every emotion possible to mankind flickering beneath the surface. Bemusement, surprise, mirth, wonder and, right at the very back, hidden by the larger, “brighter” emotions…Fear.

He was terrified. Of what, I don’t know, but I’m guessing it has something to do with where we are now.

“Hey there. I’m Luke. You?” ‘Luke’s’ voice was pure, like silver silk, but quiet, the little girl’s wailing blocking some of it out.

“Dante,” I muttered back, tearing my gaze away at long last to turn full-circle to a crying mess on the floor. She was small, maybe 4, possibly 5, and sobbing like there was no tomorrow.
Luke and this scary-looking girl in the corner, who must’ve been about my age, looked completely mystified.

I walked up to the quivering child and picked her up.

“Hey there,” I cooed, keeping my tone soft and low as I turned her to face me. “What’cha staining your cute little face with tears for?”

Fuck me, I can’t resist little kids. It’s like I suddenly have a huge injection of oestrogen and temporarily become a brooding woman whenever I see one.

She stopped immediately, her eyes growing wide as they studied my face, as if she couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh or cry. I probably looked pretty scary to her. I scare most people.

A giggle. I sighed in relief. That was all I needed to hear
.
“They laughed at me,” was all she said, her little bottom lip jutting out in a slight pout. How adorable.

“Who did?” I asked softly as I sat down on a chair, setting the fragile girl in my lap.

“Him,” she said, pointing an accusing finger at Luke; his face immediately changing from an expression of mirth to one of faked innocence. “And her.” The little girl turned her finger to Scary Girl in the corner.

“Aww. Why did they laugh at you sweetie?” To my left, I could sense the other two were exchanging looks of pure confusion, and I don’t blame them. I don’t look like the type of person who adores kids- in a non-paedophilic way of course.

She pouted and wriggled off my lap, tottering over to a piece of paper and picked it up. When she turned back around, it all made sense. The paper was a mash of bright colours, with a few squares in the middle, which, at first glance, I would’ve said it was a puppy.

But when she brought it closer, I could tell it was probably supposed to be a person, the wobbly yellow circle with two splattered black dots for eyes were barely distinguishable.
“That’s good sweetie. Is it your Mommy?” My guess was tentative, but to my relief she started laughing instead of bursting into tears.

“No,” the little girl giggled, shaking her head and pointing to Scary Girl. “It’s her.”
“Sheyenne.” Scary Girl muttered to me, running a hand through her hair and sighing in exasperation. “Ashley, come here. Don’t bother the nice…man.” The last part sounded undecided, as if she couldn’t decide whether I was an adult or not.

I’m 20 actually, dropped out of college after the first semester. I just couldn’t hack it, it was too much like school. People yelling at you do do this, or do that or that will happen. I got fired from my job too and had taken a strong liking to parties, a two-year long habit.

‘Ashley’, I’m assuming, was the little girl as she shook her head at Sheyenne and climbed into my lap again.

“Will wou read me a stwoey?” Little Ash grinned up at me. I noticed that one of her front teeth was missing, explaining the lisp.

I nodded automatically and picked up the offered book, unable to resist those wide puppy-dog eyes.
_______________________________________________________________________
“Cute, isn’t she?”

I jumped slightly, not expecting anyone’s voice to break the silence. Ashley had fallen asleep in my arms, sometime during The Three Bears, the second book she’d made me read to her.

Sheyenne, who I’m assuming is Luke’s sister or something, went out a while ago complaining she needed a cigarette. So it was just us. Just Luke and I….Alone.
Well, as alone as you can get with a sleeping child in your arms.

“Yeah, she is a bit of a cutie,” I admitted quietly, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth and nibbling a little. “Is she your sister?”

“No. Cousin.” I could almost see him shake his head slowly, even though he was in the bed behind me. The hospital gown rustled as Luke adjusted his position; the only sound in the room apart from Ashley’s contented breathing.

“So….Madina Lake right?”

“Huh?” I looked over my shoulder confused. What was he on about?

“Your hoodie.”

“Ohh…Yeah….They’re really good…”

WHY THE HELL AM I SO NERVOUS?! GAH!

“Are they any good live?” Luke’s tone sounded wistful, almost sad.

“Of course. Wait…You’ve never been to a rock show?!”

He shook his head slowly from side to side. “Nope.”

“Not even when you were younger?”

“No. I’ve always been too ill to go to them.”

“Oh…”

Well. Way to stick your foot in the shit, Dante. Nice going.