Stay Safe
Two
Jason stared blankly and unblinking out of the rain streaked car windshield. The raindrops snaked down and left transparent tracks in the fogging glass. The tires squeaked against the wet pavement, and Jason knew it couldn't be safe to drive in this weather, but he just needed to get away.
He would have never before imagined doing what he had just done, walking out on Derek, leaving him completely alone in the huge, probably now extremely lonely house. It was the first time he really thought about how Derek must feel about this. It didn't require much thought. Derek had always been sort of dependant, and unable to get by own his own. He would never want to spend any time alone, and Jason found it utterly adorable. Now, Jason didn't want to imagine how Derek must be feeling, but he couldn't keep his mind away from it. He knew Derek would be torn, depressed, devastated. Jason hated himself for doing this to the man he loved, the man he still loves. He continuingly asked himself, Why? Why did I do this? Why would I ever do such a thing?
Really, he did know why. He didn't want to admit it to himself. He couldn't admit to himself and face the truth, that this was completely his choice. His choice to destroy Derek's life like this, and most likely set fire to his own.
Jason wished he didn't have to leave Derek, and that they could continue to live together in sheer happiness, but he knew he had to leave everything. He couldn't face any living remnant of his now former life. With a bitter taste in his mind, he reminisced on the day his life would completely change, sending him into an endless spiral of nothingness.
--
Jason sat on the living room couch, a sleeping Derek in his arms, resting on his shoulder. The loud doorbell echoed through the house.
"Wass dat?" Derek stirred and asked groggily, still half asleep but slowly blinking his eyes open.
"Just the doorbell, babe. I'll get it." Jason told Derek, getting up and making his way over to the front door. Derek slumped over on the arm of the couch and instantly fell back to sleep. Jason opened the door; there, two police officers stood.
"Can I help you?" Jason asked, raising an eyebrow at the officers.
"Yes," one of them said rather professionally. "Are you Jason Alan Lancaster?"
"Yes," Jason said shakily, fearing that he had done something illegal, and trying to remember what it could have possible been. "Did I- did I so something wrong?"
"No." the other officer replied, looking Jason straight in the eyes. "You parents were in a car crash."
Jason was stunned. He stood, unmoving, where the message tried to find it's way from his ears into his brain. It registered in his mind, and for a second he was completely speechless, his mouth seeming as dry as sand.
"What?" Jason choked, nearly screaming it out. He stumbled backward and caught himself on the doorframe. "What?" he repeated, softer this time, almost a whisper.
"I'm sorry," the officer said, although he clearly didn't mean it. It almost made Jason sick, their lack of even pretending to care.
"They'll- they'll be okay, right?" Jason stared, already knowing the answer. "Right?" he repeated, more to himself than anyone else.
The first officer started to open his mouth to confirm the dreaded news, when Jason cut him off by slamming the door in both of their faces. He locked the door, falling against the wall, and breaking into violent tears, not wanting to believe what could never be avoided.
Derek must have heard the loud slam of the door, because he came stumbling to where Jason sat on the floor, leaning against the door.
"What's going on?" He asked softly.
--
Jason now couldn't stand to see the old sights he had grown so used to. He was starting a new life. He didn't have a plan, just the unbearable urgency to go. All of this was killing him inside, but he knew he would be able to ignore it soon enough, once he was far gone from the house he used to call his own and Derek's. He blocked that thought out of his mind, using all his willpower not to think of Derek. But once you start trying not to think of something, you can't stop thinking about it.
Jason pulled over to the side of the road, deciding that he had been driving far too long. He laid his head on the back of the seat, letting his eyes fall closed, and drifting off into a dreamless sleep almost immediately.
He would have never before imagined doing what he had just done, walking out on Derek, leaving him completely alone in the huge, probably now extremely lonely house. It was the first time he really thought about how Derek must feel about this. It didn't require much thought. Derek had always been sort of dependant, and unable to get by own his own. He would never want to spend any time alone, and Jason found it utterly adorable. Now, Jason didn't want to imagine how Derek must be feeling, but he couldn't keep his mind away from it. He knew Derek would be torn, depressed, devastated. Jason hated himself for doing this to the man he loved, the man he still loves. He continuingly asked himself, Why? Why did I do this? Why would I ever do such a thing?
Really, he did know why. He didn't want to admit it to himself. He couldn't admit to himself and face the truth, that this was completely his choice. His choice to destroy Derek's life like this, and most likely set fire to his own.
Jason wished he didn't have to leave Derek, and that they could continue to live together in sheer happiness, but he knew he had to leave everything. He couldn't face any living remnant of his now former life. With a bitter taste in his mind, he reminisced on the day his life would completely change, sending him into an endless spiral of nothingness.
--
Jason sat on the living room couch, a sleeping Derek in his arms, resting on his shoulder. The loud doorbell echoed through the house.
"Wass dat?" Derek stirred and asked groggily, still half asleep but slowly blinking his eyes open.
"Just the doorbell, babe. I'll get it." Jason told Derek, getting up and making his way over to the front door. Derek slumped over on the arm of the couch and instantly fell back to sleep. Jason opened the door; there, two police officers stood.
"Can I help you?" Jason asked, raising an eyebrow at the officers.
"Yes," one of them said rather professionally. "Are you Jason Alan Lancaster?"
"Yes," Jason said shakily, fearing that he had done something illegal, and trying to remember what it could have possible been. "Did I- did I so something wrong?"
"No." the other officer replied, looking Jason straight in the eyes. "You parents were in a car crash."
Jason was stunned. He stood, unmoving, where the message tried to find it's way from his ears into his brain. It registered in his mind, and for a second he was completely speechless, his mouth seeming as dry as sand.
"What?" Jason choked, nearly screaming it out. He stumbled backward and caught himself on the doorframe. "What?" he repeated, softer this time, almost a whisper.
"I'm sorry," the officer said, although he clearly didn't mean it. It almost made Jason sick, their lack of even pretending to care.
"They'll- they'll be okay, right?" Jason stared, already knowing the answer. "Right?" he repeated, more to himself than anyone else.
The first officer started to open his mouth to confirm the dreaded news, when Jason cut him off by slamming the door in both of their faces. He locked the door, falling against the wall, and breaking into violent tears, not wanting to believe what could never be avoided.
Derek must have heard the loud slam of the door, because he came stumbling to where Jason sat on the floor, leaning against the door.
"What's going on?" He asked softly.
--
Jason now couldn't stand to see the old sights he had grown so used to. He was starting a new life. He didn't have a plan, just the unbearable urgency to go. All of this was killing him inside, but he knew he would be able to ignore it soon enough, once he was far gone from the house he used to call his own and Derek's. He blocked that thought out of his mind, using all his willpower not to think of Derek. But once you start trying not to think of something, you can't stop thinking about it.
Jason pulled over to the side of the road, deciding that he had been driving far too long. He laid his head on the back of the seat, letting his eyes fall closed, and drifting off into a dreamless sleep almost immediately.