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Say You'll Mean It
Jack
Our chemistry is kerosene.
The words almost burned against my skin, Avery's flawless script running up and down my arm in the Sharpie I always carried with me, her fingers gently pressing into the pale skin. The painful last words of the girl I knew I loved, despite our short relationship. I could still her body pressed against mine as she wrote the words, making me promise I'd never forget the words, as they were now embedded in my skin. I rubbed the spot lightly, trying to remember me and Avery's short but beautiful legacy. My corny pickup line, a desperate attempt to get this girl's number. In the beginning, I'll admit, I just wanted her as a one night stand, but it grew into something so much more than that. I fell in love with her, and I still didn't score. I began to see that the relentless cycle of using girls was dangerous, and I could do so much more with a girl I really cared about. And I was no Alex.
Beside me, Zack was asleep, with Rian driving down the endless stretch of highway towards the first stop on our tour, just as an opener, of course. But that really didn't matter. We were living the dream. My phone buzzed in my hand, a casual conversation with Avery in the midst as my fingers danced across the keys. Alex had been unusually quiet this morning, not a single joke leaving his lips. Not to say that I wanted to hear from the loser, but it was uncharacteristic, making me wonder if Alex felt bad for what he did.
I closed my eyes, wondering if Avery had realized there was a necklace around her neck when she awoke. It was a ring, the words “love never fails” scorched into the side, on a chain. The ring itself had spoken to me as I stood in the jewelry store with Rian, but it was far too soon for me to give Avery a ring. A chain was added to the ring, making it the perfect gift for the perfect girl. I looked down at my jeans, slightly skinny and slung low on my hips, my random Blink-182 shirt barely touching my belt, the seatbelt to my dad's old Mustang. In my pocket, I noticed a bulge that wasn't there before. In it, was a perfectly folded note, Avery's handwriting visible on the top. One word was all it took for my heart to burst. “Jack”. I opened it out of curiosity, needing something tangible to hold on to. Only three words adorned the inside of the note.
I love you.
I stared for a moment, completely lost in the simplicity of the words she had written. Alex glared at me from across the van, a look of jealousy creeping into his chocolate eyes. He sneered.
“A letter from your lover nerd?” He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest in triumph. From the front seat of the van, Rian sighed, sensing the fight that was about to go down.
“Alex, I can't even talk to you,” I said simply, staring at the loopy script of Avery's shaking hand, small tear marks left on the faded notebook paper. I frowned at the thought that she was crying over me.
“Why? You weren't dating Lacie, I was!” He screamed, looking on the verge of tears. He threw his hands up in the air. “Do I feel like my heart was ripped from my chest? Yeah, pretty much!” Alex buried his head in his hands, his fingers tangling with his hair. “Even though she doesn't believe in love, he's determined to call her bluff, who could deny, these butterflies?” Alex sang quietly, and I remembered what Avery had told me about what Lacie called THE notebook. I stared at Alex wide eyed, as if I couldn't believe the words leaving his mouth. “But I can't have her. Not now. I messed up, big time.” Alex fell silent, me and Rian's jaws practically hitting the ground. Alex said nothing else, quietly muttering to himself as we drove.
“You guys hungry?” Matt called from his perch beside Rian, where he had been out like a rock with his Mickey Mouse doll tucked under his arm since we left. Alex said nothing, just lifting his head, looking completely and totally hungover. I had never seen that in him before, let alone regret as well. Rian nodded a little, sipping the ever present coffee cup as he drove with one hand, trying so hard for macho.
Too bad Kara wasn't here to slap his arm and laugh.
Too bad Avery wasn't here to make my heart leap like it did the night I met her.
Too bad Lacie wasn't so broken.
“I'm always hungry,” I said, shrugging and making Zack wake up beside me, who despite his slumber, agreed on getting food. Matt nodded, clutching his Mickey Mouse doll under his arm again as he searched the highway for an exit, trying to find McDonald's, or even better, Chik-Fil-A.
“Jack, come forth,” Rian said, trying not to laugh. “And bring forth the holy wallet.” Matt burst out laughing, but snatched my wallet from me none the less, digging through to find my cash. Matt's fingers brushed over the faded paper of Avery's note, and I hoped he wouldn't open it. But he did. He read it, and smiled, whispering in my ear as he gave me my wallet back.
“Hold on to her, whoever she is,” Matt said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “She's a really catch. Don't let her go, even for a second.” Matt went back to coddling with his Mickey Mouse, one of many, leaving me dumbfounded. Matt was right, though. Avery was a catch, and I shouldn't let her go. I leaned back in my seat, Zack grunting as Rian handed him his food. I dug through mine quickly, not realizing how hungry I was. Alex just stared at his milkshake, a courtesy Rian had been kind enough to order for him. Alex looked at me with pleading eyes, and I sighed. I felt bad for him, I really did. I don't know why, though. Alex began to shovel the chocolate goodness into his mouth, almost smiling now. He bit his lip, seeming to remember something.
“My words are as cold as the clouds of your breath, and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest,” Alex sang, striking me as completely and totally ironic. Oh Lacie, how it rhymes with Jasey...
The words almost burned against my skin, Avery's flawless script running up and down my arm in the Sharpie I always carried with me, her fingers gently pressing into the pale skin. The painful last words of the girl I knew I loved, despite our short relationship. I could still her body pressed against mine as she wrote the words, making me promise I'd never forget the words, as they were now embedded in my skin. I rubbed the spot lightly, trying to remember me and Avery's short but beautiful legacy. My corny pickup line, a desperate attempt to get this girl's number. In the beginning, I'll admit, I just wanted her as a one night stand, but it grew into something so much more than that. I fell in love with her, and I still didn't score. I began to see that the relentless cycle of using girls was dangerous, and I could do so much more with a girl I really cared about. And I was no Alex.
Beside me, Zack was asleep, with Rian driving down the endless stretch of highway towards the first stop on our tour, just as an opener, of course. But that really didn't matter. We were living the dream. My phone buzzed in my hand, a casual conversation with Avery in the midst as my fingers danced across the keys. Alex had been unusually quiet this morning, not a single joke leaving his lips. Not to say that I wanted to hear from the loser, but it was uncharacteristic, making me wonder if Alex felt bad for what he did.
I closed my eyes, wondering if Avery had realized there was a necklace around her neck when she awoke. It was a ring, the words “love never fails” scorched into the side, on a chain. The ring itself had spoken to me as I stood in the jewelry store with Rian, but it was far too soon for me to give Avery a ring. A chain was added to the ring, making it the perfect gift for the perfect girl. I looked down at my jeans, slightly skinny and slung low on my hips, my random Blink-182 shirt barely touching my belt, the seatbelt to my dad's old Mustang. In my pocket, I noticed a bulge that wasn't there before. In it, was a perfectly folded note, Avery's handwriting visible on the top. One word was all it took for my heart to burst. “Jack”. I opened it out of curiosity, needing something tangible to hold on to. Only three words adorned the inside of the note.
I love you.
I stared for a moment, completely lost in the simplicity of the words she had written. Alex glared at me from across the van, a look of jealousy creeping into his chocolate eyes. He sneered.
“A letter from your lover nerd?” He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest in triumph. From the front seat of the van, Rian sighed, sensing the fight that was about to go down.
“Alex, I can't even talk to you,” I said simply, staring at the loopy script of Avery's shaking hand, small tear marks left on the faded notebook paper. I frowned at the thought that she was crying over me.
“Why? You weren't dating Lacie, I was!” He screamed, looking on the verge of tears. He threw his hands up in the air. “Do I feel like my heart was ripped from my chest? Yeah, pretty much!” Alex buried his head in his hands, his fingers tangling with his hair. “Even though she doesn't believe in love, he's determined to call her bluff, who could deny, these butterflies?” Alex sang quietly, and I remembered what Avery had told me about what Lacie called THE notebook. I stared at Alex wide eyed, as if I couldn't believe the words leaving his mouth. “But I can't have her. Not now. I messed up, big time.” Alex fell silent, me and Rian's jaws practically hitting the ground. Alex said nothing else, quietly muttering to himself as we drove.
“You guys hungry?” Matt called from his perch beside Rian, where he had been out like a rock with his Mickey Mouse doll tucked under his arm since we left. Alex said nothing, just lifting his head, looking completely and totally hungover. I had never seen that in him before, let alone regret as well. Rian nodded a little, sipping the ever present coffee cup as he drove with one hand, trying so hard for macho.
Too bad Kara wasn't here to slap his arm and laugh.
Too bad Avery wasn't here to make my heart leap like it did the night I met her.
Too bad Lacie wasn't so broken.
“I'm always hungry,” I said, shrugging and making Zack wake up beside me, who despite his slumber, agreed on getting food. Matt nodded, clutching his Mickey Mouse doll under his arm again as he searched the highway for an exit, trying to find McDonald's, or even better, Chik-Fil-A.
“Jack, come forth,” Rian said, trying not to laugh. “And bring forth the holy wallet.” Matt burst out laughing, but snatched my wallet from me none the less, digging through to find my cash. Matt's fingers brushed over the faded paper of Avery's note, and I hoped he wouldn't open it. But he did. He read it, and smiled, whispering in my ear as he gave me my wallet back.
“Hold on to her, whoever she is,” Matt said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “She's a really catch. Don't let her go, even for a second.” Matt went back to coddling with his Mickey Mouse, one of many, leaving me dumbfounded. Matt was right, though. Avery was a catch, and I shouldn't let her go. I leaned back in my seat, Zack grunting as Rian handed him his food. I dug through mine quickly, not realizing how hungry I was. Alex just stared at his milkshake, a courtesy Rian had been kind enough to order for him. Alex looked at me with pleading eyes, and I sighed. I felt bad for him, I really did. I don't know why, though. Alex began to shovel the chocolate goodness into his mouth, almost smiling now. He bit his lip, seeming to remember something.
“My words are as cold as the clouds of your breath, and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest,” Alex sang, striking me as completely and totally ironic. Oh Lacie, how it rhymes with Jasey...