This Must be Fiction

Hours later I was donning short black shorts and the same green tank top that I was wearing earlier. I wore the new silver heels that I bought and decided to curl my hair and apply extra black eye make-up. I suppose I was slightly inspired by Kat's look. My look definitely was not the same as hers, but the dark eye make-up and curled hair was, I guess, an attempt to look like Kat.

Ville wore tight jeans and a plain black button up with a gray beanie. He looked so good when he dressed plainly, I thought it brought out his natural features. He wore black make-up too.

We walked to where ever we were headed because Ville said he knew the area.

"We're not getting separated this time, dear." Ville said as we strolled.

"Alright, well, you'll have to keep an eye on me then. I cannot be trusted." I joked. We kept casual conversation until we arrived there, which was as long of a walk as I was expecting.
Ville, once again, amazingly got us in without having to wait or be ID-ed. He just smiled at me as he led us in the door and I rolled my eyes at his cockiness. For as understanding as he could be, he was also quite a tool. Well, he could be a tool. He had the ability to occasionally have tool-like qualities, I should say.

This club was even larger than the one we went to before, making me believe that we would indefinitely get separated at some point.

"I'm not leaving you this time!" Ville shouted. I just looked at him. Of course, at some point,
we would end up dancing with other people. I just looked at him with a look of sarcasm on my face, not saying what he knew I was thinking. He grabbed my hand, making my heart race, and we walked to the dance floor together.

He stood behind me and had a tight grip on my waist. It was a little too tight, so I grabbed his hands to let him know. It was amazing how his thin hands fit perfectly on my curvy hips. His front was leaning on my back, and our bodies seemed to be like puzzle pieces. We danced automatically, not really knowing what we were doing, but doing it anyway. His body temperature was heating up as we danced because of the friction between us. It felt nice to have that heat between our bodies instead of the usual frigidness. I couldn't tell what was happening between us. I looked behind me and up towards Ville, his head was lowered and he was looking into my eyes. I wanted him to lean down and kiss me, but I knew he wouldn't. He knew that I wanted him to, I could tell.

Kiss me damn it! You know you want to! I know you want to! You know I want you to! It's not hard... just lean your head down a little...

Ville's attention was taken elsewhere as I was staring at him with these thoughts screaming in my head. He looked towards the bar.

"Want a drink?" He asked.

"Vodka. Just vodka." I shouted over the music, shaking my head. He took my hand and led us over to the bar where he kept ordering shots until I told him I needed a break.

"Drunk, love?" Ville asked.

"Getting there." I answered. He laughed before he took another shot. He grabbed my hand and went back out to the dance floor. We faced each other this time, his hands snaked around my back and rested lightly above my behind. I kept my hands hanging so I could move them while I danced. The music was overbearingly loud, we were really close to the speakers. Ville didn't take his eyes off of me and I found it difficult to look anywhere but his amazing green irises. If I wasn't drunk, I probably would have tried to focus on something other than Ville in order not to be awkward, but I obviously didn't care. His hands were firm on my hips, keeping me planted with him. Some man tried to take me away from Ville, but he refused to let go.

We danced for a couple of songs before I decided I needed more to drink. Ville lined up a row of shots for me and I took them gratefully.

"Are you going to be ok after this?" He asked. I eyed him up, thinking about how badly I wanted him to kiss me earlier, and nodded.

"I'll be just fine. More dancing?"

"Let's go out for a smoke." He said. I followed him out to the back patio of the club, which was filled with people lighting up cigarettes.
Ville lit me one and handed it to me, which took me several attempts to grab.

"You're drunk."

"You're observant."

I smoked slowly, trying to savor ever moment of it. I couldn't help but think about how badly I wanted Ville to kiss me. My mind wouldn't stop leading me back to it. The alcohol was making it impossible not to stare at Ville.

"Everything ok?" He asked. My eyes darted towards the people surrounding us.

"Perfect." I answered. He let his arm drape around my waist much in the way he did at High Voltage. I shivered at his cold touch. I dared not to let my eyes drift over to Ville's, knowing that if i did I would most likely try to kiss him myself, and that would be embarrassing for the both of us.

"You sure?" He leaned down and his breath cascaded across my neck. I wiggled out of his grip and took a step away.

"Promise."

We danced for a few more songs and we left when the club started to clear out. Once were outside Ville lit us two more cigarettes.

"Have a good time?" He asked. I could tell he was drunk too.

"Great. I'm really surprised that we didn't get separated."

"I wasn't going to let you out of my sight, dear."

"I'm glad you didn't." I said. We started to walk.

"Would you like a ride?" He asked. I nodded and Ville bent his knees so I could hop on his back.

"God you're tall."
Ville laughed. My eyelids were heavy and I could not possibly keep them open while I smoked and relied on Ville's transportation.

"Let's go to a bar." I said.

"You're far too tired, dear."

"No I'm fine, let's just go to one. Some shit-hole place."

"You're positive?"

I moaned out a yes. He, reluctantly, began a search for a bar that was still open at this time of night. It was L.A., so of course there was one open. There were only about five people in the entire place and the bartender didn't look thrilled to see us.

"What can I get you two?" He asked, not bothering to ID me.

"Two beers. Whatever you've got handy." Ville spoke with his hands. After we finished those beers Ville looked at me with drunken eyes.

"Love, if I'm this drunk, you've got to be hammered." He rested a hand on my knee.

"Don't call me love if you don't love me. And yes I am."
Ville looked upset.

"Don't talk like that, you know you mean the world to me." He lightly squeezed my leg.

"Alright well I want to go home now. I mean to the hotel." my eyes shut automatically and i held my arms out so I could jump on Ville's back.

"What was the point in coming here?" he asked.

"Avoiding sleep and I like beer."

"Ah, I see."
I dosed off on the walk to the hotel. I woke up in the elevator.

"Put me downnn." I said sleepily. Ville let go of my legs and set me down. I stumbled and leaned on the mirrored wall of the elevator. I took a look at myself and saw my smeared eyeliner and knotted hair.

"Oh fuck." I said. Ville turned to me.

"What's wrong?"

"God I'm so drunk." I combed my fingers through my hair and tried to wipe off the make up running down my cheeks.

"Indeed you are." He said as the elevator doors opened. He took my hand and led me to the room. Once inside I ran to the bed and leaped onto it. For a minute I thought I couldn't move, but then I rolled over lazily and looked at the ceiling. I sat up and grabbed my bag, looking for pajamas.

"Fuck! I'm out of clean clothes. We gotta do laundry tomorrow." I said. Ville dug around in his bag and tossed me a pair of his boxers and a tee-shirt. They smelled like him. Cigarettes, musk, and sunshine. I changed into them in front of him, too drunk to care if he was looking or not.

"Are you sleeping with me tonight?" I asked, crawling under the sheets. He groaned and stripped down to his boxers and got on the bed on top of the covers. I couldn't help myself anymore as I looked at his gorgeous body covered in tattoos. I sat up and straddled his waist.

"Molly..." He said, but even he was drunk so he didn't know what to say.

"Mmm?" I asked as I started kissing his neck and chest.

"We can't do this." He said as he put his hands on my shoulders to stop me. I wanted to cry and scream at him, but the embarrassment was too terrible. I climbed off of Ville and inched to the side of the bed, as far away from him as possible. I rolled over and looked out the window as two silent tears fell from my eyes and onto the pillow. His cold arm wrapped around my mid section and I shivered.

He whispered, "Love, you have no idea how badly I want to, but it's just not possible. Please don't cry over this. Please." He wiped the tears from my eyes and rolled me over so I was facing him.

"Don't treat me like a baby." I said, letting the tears fall rapidly.

"I'm not. Molly, I would love for us to be even closer than we are, but it's just not possible. Maybe someday you'll figure out why, and I have a feeling you're not even going to remember this tomorrow, but know that I care for you. Please understand me." He spoke softly. His thumb gently caressed my cheek from the tears and he even looked like he might shed a tear or two.

"Sure." I whispered. He inched his face close to mine until he was only millimeters away. His breath was heavy and cold, spreading across my lips. I opened my lips to say something, but his were already pressed delicately against them before I could speak. It was too quick to understand what had even happened, and in an instant he was on his back with his eyes closed. My lips were cold from his, and I felt them quickly with my fingers, wondering if that had just happened. My heart started beating quicker and I was barely able to understand what he did. He told me he couldn't be with me, but he kissed me? He kissed me? What?

I've had too much to drink.