This Must be Fiction

They walked out the door and left me to entertain myself. For the first few minutes while I was enjoying a cigarette, I stared at my engagement ring. I looked at it from every possible angle and decided (again) that I loved it. Of course any ring Ville gave me would have been wonderful, but this one seemed to fit my personality perfectly. It kind of, in a strange way, resembled our relationship.

Thinking of the ring made me realize, with such anger and sadness, that I could not wear it in public. If it became known that Ville and I were engaged, it was only a matter of time before the Superiors found out, and I wasn't sure what would happen after that. It was actually only a matter of time before they found out about us regardless of the ring, but I didn't want to risk that happening any sooner that it had to.

I dug through my bag, looking for something in particular. When I found it, I looped it through the ring's band and clasped it around my neck. It was a necklace that my Grandmother had given to my mother, which she passed down to me when I came home after New Years two years ago. Mom saw how depressed I was and told me that the simple silver necklace always made her feel loved. I only wore it on special occasions, and I thought it was more than suitable to hold my ring when I couldn't have it on my hand. The two silver pieces of jewelry went very well together, and brought two very important aspects of my life into one beautiful symbol of love.

I let the ring hang around my neck for a little bit before it made me uncomfortable and I returned the ruby to it's natural setting on my finger. It was a little bit big, making me realize I needed to gain weight. If this amazing ring wasn't going to fit, I was going to match it.

I made breakfast, had a nice jog, and worked on my laptop while Ville was away. It was shocking to see how much work I had missed while in Paris. It hit me soon after I emailed Robert that I would have to return soon. Ville would have to go home soon. He would go to Finland, and I would go to California. What were we supposed to do?

I showered and did my make-up before Ville got back. The thought of our inevitable separation never left my mind, and my stomach never stopped turning at the thought.

"Hello love." He said as he walked in and kissed me deeply. His hair was still slicked back from the shoot, but he had washed away his make-up.

"Hi." I said, feeling sick at the thought of leaving him again.

Ville tugged me onto his lap where he rubbed my back comfortingly. "What's wrong?"

"What's going to happen.... when you have to go back to Finland... and I have to go to California? I didn't think about this before." I looked at him and then looked at my hands. His index finger lifted my chin to look into his marvelous emerald eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you about this." He didn't let my eyes leave his. "I was hoping that you would come to Finland with me."

I opened my mouth to speak but he pressed his finger to them. I felt myself automatically respond with a sigh.

"It would only be for a few months. I'm going on tour in about two and a half months, but until then I want you to live with me. Take a break for a while."

It was impossible to look anywhere but his eyes. "But my job..."

"Screw your job. It'll be there when you go back." His fingers gracefully ran down my face. Only Ville could make the word screw seem as elegant as he did.

"Let's say I move to Finland for a few months. What happens after your tour? What happens for the rest of our lives?"

"I don't want to lie and say that it'll be easy, because we both know it won't. We're going to have to shift schedules and take long flights and stay weird places at uncomfortable hours. But if we truly want to make it, that's what we've got to do." His fingers never strayed from my face while he spoke.

"Just promise me one thing." I said, accepting his offer of moving to Finland and the odd terms that came along with being with Ville all at once.

"Anything."

"Once we're married we'll buy a house. We'll live there, year round, regardless of where it is. No running around to be together, that will be our home."

"Promise."
His hands took my face and gave me a promising, deal-making kiss.

"Finland it is. You owe me Valo." I scowled.

"Sure, sure." He rolled his eyes. "Finland's not that bad once you get used to it."

"If you say so."

XXXXXX

"It's cold!" I said to Ville as we exited the airport.

"It's summer." He responded. I tugged my jacket closer to my body and shivered.

"Some summer." I said. "I'm from Buffalo, I'm used to the cold, but I wasn't expecting this."

"Ah well this is Helsinki, you should have expected this." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as a cab pulled up. We climbed inside and he told the driver his address in Finish. They spoke briefly and the driver laughed before pulling away.

"He can tell you're American." Ville laughed with the driver. "Must be the shivering."
I shoved Ville and looked at the driver with embarrassment.

"I've got to say.." he started after a couple minutes of silent driving. "I really like how the ring looks on that necklace. I like it better on your hand, but the necklace is nice too."

I fumbled with the ring for a bit before slipping it back under my shirt. My gaze returned to the buildings in Helsinki. I remained quiet. It was overwhelming to realize that I was going to be living in this foreign country for the next ten weeks.

"You're quiet."

"I'm taking it all in. Helsinki, your 'tower,'" I used quotes, "it's a lot, you know?"

"But you can handle it. This isn't for long."

"I know, I know." I sighed, wanting to change the subject. "Nathan is not pleased about this. Neither is Robert. Or Lizzie."

"How about your mom?"

"She doesn't really know what to think."

"Does she know about me?"

"Only somewhat. I couldn't stand telling my mom about being engaged over the phone. I'll have to explain in person. Besides, no one but us needs to know... And Bam."

"But she knows you're staying with me." His voice was stern, assertive. My eyebrows pinched together and I looked at him with curiosity.

"Yes, she knows."

"I just want your mom to at least know about me. She means a lot to you. You mean a lot to me. I want your mom to know about us."

"I'm not hiding you from her, I'm just leaving out the things that need to be left out." I started using my hands. He put his hands on top of mine to calm them.

"Its fine, dear, don't get flustered."

"Sorry."
We were silent until the driver stopped on a rather deserted street a few miles from downtown Helsinki.

"I thought you'd live like... in a busy area." I said as we climbed from the cab. "Where's the tower?" I turned around three or four times without seeing the building he had described.

"Back there. Behind that housing area and through some trees. It's secluded."

"You never mentioned that."

"You never asked."
We started walking up a long driveway and to the tower. He unlocked the cylindrical brick house and led me into his living room.

It was plain, except for a few eccentric pieces scattered around. There was a giant book shelf, two small black couches with a matching chair, and a plain gray rug topping a wooden floor. A naked manikin torso was placed in the corner of the room, and a skull seemingly made of copper was sitting in the shelf, holding books up. A few other odd items caught my attention, but didn't shock me.

One thing seemed a bit off, however.

"Who cleaned for you?" I eyed him from the center of the room. The ash tray on his coffee table was empty.

"Linde's girlfriend. How'd you know?" Ville tossed my suitcase onto his couch.

"Your ash tray. And you never knew I was coming to see you before you left for Paris, so you wouldn't have cleaned your house before leaving."

"You're smart." He said, smiling. I let him take the lead to show me around the rest of his house. His kitchen was bare, for obvious reasons.

"I told her to go grocery shopping." Ville mumbled while shaking his head. All I managed to find was one box of poptarts and coffee grounds.

"Wow. Why bother having a kitchen?" I mumbled back in his direction.

"Houses don't exactly come without them." He backed me up against a counter and started nuzzling my neck. I wanted to fall for his tricks, but I knew he was just postponing the tour of his house.

"Stop. Ville!" I shouted with giggles as he licked across my jaw bone. "I've got to put my things away and make room for whatever Robert's sending me from home. I want to get settled before we do anything else."

He put his forehead on my shoulder in defeat.

"Come on then." He sighed and took my hand.
He showed me the bathroom and his guest room, along with his office area which was really just his writing room with a shabby computer on a bare desk in the corner. There were book shelves in practically every room, except for the bathroom. Ville saved the bedroom for last.

"Don't judge me on the room alone, no ones been in here besides some select friends. I've been so busy with work that I never had time to do anything with it." He closed his eyes and spoke with his hands.

"Just show me will you? If it's as terrible as you make it seem I'm going to have to start adding my womanly touches as soon as possible."

He opened the door slowly. I shoved past him and walked in. I don't know what he was so nervous about, it was exactly what I expected. A plain gray-walled room with a queen sized bed in the corner. There was, surprisingly, a sturdy frame for the mattress. I was shocked it wasn't just on the floor. A few stranded guitars stood in the corner, next to a pile of vinyls. His dresser was cluttered with CD's, a stereo, and opened alcohol containers. Some dirty clothes were thrown into a laundry basket.

"Is there room for my clothes?"

"I told Toni to clean out the closet and some dresser drawers, but feel free to do whatever you want with the room. And I mean that seriously; whatever you want. I'm not the one that sleeps all the time." Ville opened the closet door and I saw that his clothes were shoved off to one side.

"This room screams Ville Valo." I jumped onto his bed laughing. He joined me and laughed as well.

"Yeah, I know. But it's your room now too, so it should scream Ville and Molly."

"We'll see about that. I'm not here for long anyway."

"But it will never stop being our room. I mean, it's my house. You're my fiance, this is our bedroom."

"I love the sound of that. All of that." I said dreamily. I laced my fingers on top of my stomach and gazed out the window and onto the tree directly outside.

His cold grip grasped my hand and squeezed it.

"So. My house. What do you think?" He whispered. I loved it when he whispered. It was almost like a secret.

"It's exactly what I thought it'd be... so you." I closed my eyes and started breathing deeply.

"Want to take a nap? We had a long day."

"Mhmm." I moaned. Ville brought the covers up over me. I shimmied off my jeans and jacket and tossed my beanie on his night stand. I mean our night stand. "She washed your sheets too, didn't she?" I turned over and sniffed his pillow.

"I asked her to."

"They don't smell like you."

"They will soon. Go to sleep." He kissed my nose. I pouted until he got the hint and kissed my lips.