Twins.

I stared into the mirror, I had trouble understanding what any guy could possibly see in me, if Alex claimed to have loved me then why didn't he try anything? I know I didn't, but I always had a special place in my heart for him and he knew that too.

Maybe he didn't like that my image was so dark by that I mean my hair was black and my make up was heavy, like a goth almost. I sighed, this had to change and it was going to start with my hair.

I grabbed the hair dye and started mixing it, I started separating my hair, and slipped the rubber gloves on.

"Time for change, my world has already fallen apart, change is good" I whispered.

I could fill the chemicals in my hair changing, tears were once again falling down my hot face, everything was changing, why shouldn't I change?

I waited 45 minutes before rinsing out my hair and leaving in the conditioner for 10 minutes before washing my hair.

I then proceeded to cut my own hair, I saw my now lighter hair falling onto the ground, I sighed finished cutting my hair. It went from my waist to my shoulders, a big change for me, this is what I needed.

"I don't feel like myself" I whispered.



I could sleep at night it was hard for me to think about everything that's happened and what I had just done. Cut my hair, dyed it two shades lighter and threw away all of my make up, I was going for an naturelles look.

My phone started ringing again, it was Alex, again and I really didn't want to pick I didn't want to talk to him.

It kept ringing all morning long and most of the calls were either Alex or my mom which I didn't want to upset even more.

I checked my messages and I had one from Meghan, I bit my lip trying to figure out if I should listen to it or not.

"Listen Ariana, I'm sorry that I hit you, I really didn't mean to hurt you I was just really angry by what you said and the fact that you're always coming off as better person than me. I don't like that and I don't like that you resent our father he's not with us anymore I can't understand why you're acting like that, and I'm sorry about the whole Alex thing, but it's true."

I shut my phone off once again and sighed, I stared at the mirror in front of me, and stared at my reflection I liked what i was seeing. Maybe I wasn't ugly after all, my cheek bones were like I pictures and my lips were big but not too big my eyelashes were thick and my face looked more model like. It might have to do with the haircut I had given myself that and I didn't have any make up on.

I got out of hotel and walked outside to get some fresh air, I need some time to think and some fresh air was something I needed.

"I wish you would stop calling me," I whispered.

I walked and noticed that while I was walking to a near by park Alex and Jack were there, talking and my heart started pounding inside of me. I took my sunglasses and put them on, I doubt they would recognize me.

"She said she loved you then?" he asked Alex.

I walked behind a tree and sat down, trying to figure out what they were talking about and from what I heard it sounded like it was about me.

"Yeah, I can't believe I didn't see before,"

"It was kind of obvious" Jack replied.

How does he know?

"You knew? And you didn't tell me?"

"First of all, it was obvious the way she would look at you and blush whenever you were around that and secondly I might have over heard her talking about it with someone"

"Fuck," Alex grunted in frustration.

"What?"

"I can't believe I never told her and now she hates me and she wants nothing to do with me,"

"Meghan has something to do with this right?"

I saw him nod, "Yeah, I talked to Meghan about it, she said they got into a fight and Ariana ran off, apparently she saw us kissing the other night,"

"Oh,"

I shook my head and looked at the ground, "What are you going to do?"

"I've been trying to call her but she won't answer that or her phone's off I have no idea how to get in contact with her, I called her mom and she says she has no idea where she ran off to, but that Ariana left her a note saying she will be all right and she would be moving out "

"So she's not going back home?"

"No, this makes it harder I don't know how I'm going to find her,"

"Well, that sucks,"

"It does, she's my best friend I don't know what I'm going to do to fix this, "

"You can't fix this" I whispered.

My heart was broken and no one could do anything about it, but I thought a lot about what Meghan said about our father. I resented the man because he left my mother heart broken and I watched her cry so many nights in her room and it made me upset. That's why I hated him and the globe collection that he left me, I hated it. Because it had no value to me, he left everything else to Meghan and I know it sounds bitchy but it seems like I was never much to him. That and the globe made me feel like I was some kind of ice queen with a heart of stone and it pissed me off because I was everything but that.

I decided to walk back to the hotel and sink into my bed and watch the ceiling above me, I grabbed my Blackberry and started texting.

Meghan I know you think I'm a bitch because I come off as cold and heartless and whatever you said about me may be true to you, but you don't know me at all. You don't know that I like spending time writing music and singing to myself or that every weekend I go to my grandpa because he means the world to me. I know that you're upset with me because I hate that man I'm forced to call a father. But if you were there when my mom cried she was so heart broken and I did everything to make her happy. I grew up with her and she gave up a lot for me and I love her and respect her. I can't respect him, he left me some collection. So what? Was he trying to buy my affection? that's not how I work. But I thought about it and I decided to forgive him because I don't want this anger inside of me, just like I don't want to be angry at you or Alex. But I'm in so much pain right now I don't want to see anyone. I hope you understand. I'll tell you when I'll becoming around. Don't tell Alex I sent you this, don't tell anyone. I would rather not let anyone know that I've talked to someone.

I realized that the message was long but I had to send it, with a push of button it sent and I was now hugging my pillow.