Status: Completed

Do You Remember

One last goodbye

It’s been over two years now since we found out the news. You’re 23, I’m 22. It’s been just over 17 years since we first met. When I was five, I never imagined that everything I’ve written in this book could have happened to us. But it did; the good and the bad. The only thing I would ever change about our time together would be to have you well again, so that we could grow old together and have our fairytale ending like we had imagined since we were 17.

But they say that happy endings are just stories that haven’t ended yet. I wanted our story to continue on for another 80 years, at least. I wish our story wasn’t to end so soon.

The doctor tested you like he said he would when we first heard about your Osteosarcoma, and a week later called us back in again.

Each word he spoke was a punch to my heart. Those moments tore me apart.
“It has spread”… “Unable to operate” … “Lungs, kidneys, prostate” … “You may have a year, if you’re lucky”.

Just thinking about it now has tears pouring down my cheeks. But the thing is that they are tears of both grief and happiness.

You astounded everyone. You were still miraculously here, with me, with your family, a year and six months after your diagnosis. You were still fighting, even though it was obvious to everyone, including yourself that you were slowly losing the battle.

Five months ago, you were admitted to the hospital. We were both struggling to keep you alive at that point, so the doctors and nurses stepped in.

I can’t be more thankful to them; Dr Maurone, Teneale, Stephanie and especially Sarah.
All this time, Sarah has kept me sane, has kept me from breaking down. She is one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met, and I’m sure you’ll agree with me. She’s made the time we both (but mainly you) have spent at the hospital as bearable as it could have possibly been.

Addy, watching you deteriorate and not being able to do a fucking thing about it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You lost so much weight and your already pale skin became even paler. Your hair became limp, your voice became croaky.

God, I can’t even begin to explain how broken my heart is. Slowly losing you day by day breaks it just that little bit more and I can hardly stand it.

As I write this, we both know that you only have days left. I’m sitting next to you now as you sleep. I sang you to sleep, just like I have regularly the whole time I’ve known you. It was your favourite song, ‘Your Guardian Angel’. These last few weeks, I’ve sung that song so often and never has it had so much meaning before. I’ve said this before, several times, I think, but I wish I could have saved your life, that I could have been your very own guardian angel. It’s unfair that our time together has been so short, that we had to be separated by the most brutal means. Luckily for me, I found a way to make sure that we are never to be separated for too long. I just hope you’ll be able to forgive me for doing it…

I know I said on the very first page of this book that I would ask a nurse to deliver a letter to you once you’ve finished reading this, but I changed my mind… only about one minute ago, actually, since I wrote what was on the first page right before I began writing this final chapter. I decided that I’d prefer if you could read the letter as soon as you’ve finished reading this book, rather than having to wait. So, I’m taping it to the page after this one instead.

Addison, you were the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I love you more than words could ever express and I will be thinking of you until my very last breath.

I’ll be waiting for you, baby.
♠ ♠ ♠
Only the epilogue now and then...that's it :(

Thank you to:
unicorndreams
SeRPieNTe'
fallen_dust
JessicStar
AshlynnLyrix
jamescassellsdrooms.

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Epilogue will be posted within 3 days, since it's already written and just needs to be checked over.

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