You're the Air I Breathe

Danielle’s Point of View

“Where’s my baby?! I need to see him, now.” I said to the doctor, my fists clenched. I had just woken up from a long rest. I had slept a good five hours, and I had only seen my son once, for about 3 seconds.

Kevin held my hand and sighed. “Honey, they’re trying their best…” I knew he was trying to be supportive, but I ignored him and continued to yell. “Mrs. Lucas, we think you should rest a little while longer before you see your baby. Your incision is still a little tender…” I cut him off. “No, no, no; you don’t understand. I need to see this baby now. He sighed and nodded, then left the room and came back in three minutes later; a wheelchair beside him.

Kevin and the doctor helped me into the chair, my IV’s following me also, and we headed up to the NICU. My head was pounding, and I didn’t feel the greatest, but that didn’t matter. All I cared about was seeing my baby.

We reached the NICU and they made us wash our hands. Kevin had to slip a hospital gown on and I was wheeled into a large, sterile room with about twenty incubators scattered across the room. The nurse led us to an incubator in the back corner near a window. The sun was shining through the window.

The doctor smiled at us. “Would you like to meet your son?” I felt the need to jump out of my wheelchair, grab my baby, and run home, but I knew this was the best place for us both. Kevin wheeled me closer to the incubator, and I got a look at his tiny, precious life.

He was so small and fragile; but adorable. He had Kevin’s nose and my eyes. He was smiling peacefully as he slept. His hands and feet were so small and tiny, I just wanted to cuddle him all day and night. But I couldn’t help but notices all the tubes and IV’s and the oxygen tubes hooked up to him.

Then the nurse walked over and said, “We were meaning to make a nametag and fill out the information, but we didn’t know if you had decided on a name yet…” I looked at Kevin and smiled and he nodded. I turned back to the nurse. “I think we’ve decided to go with Nathan; Nathan Kevin Lucas.” The nurse smiled and wrote it down, then walked away.

Kevin crouched down beside me and kissed my forehead, tears in his eyes. “Nathan Kevin…my son.” I smiled and put my hand into one of the holes inside the incubator. I put my finger near his hand and he gently latched on. I instantly felt the bond between us. I was angry I couldn’t pick him up and hold him, but the nurses already told me that he was too fragile.

Kevin pulled out his camera and took a couple of pictures. “This is going to be hanging up in our living room.” I laughed and he pulled up a chair beside me, watching our son, Nathan Kevin, sleep gently. Our son.

Macy’s Point of View

Nick and I were relaxing on the couch that morning; we had eaten some breakfast earlier after the text from Danielle and Kevin woke us up. We were now flipping through the TV stations, watching classic cartoons we used to watch when we were kids.

I started laughing when the next show came on. I hit Nick playfully. “Oh my god, remember this show?” He laughed and nodded. “I used to have every season on DVD.” I smiled and kissed his cheek. “Did I ever tell you how cute you are?” He smiled and turned closer to me, nuzzling close to my face. “I think you’ve mentioned it a couple times…”

He kissed me passionately, then slowly pulled away smiling. He looked down at my stomach. “Is it getting any bigger?” He asked. I took his hand and placed it on my stomach, and he smiled. “I feel a little bit of a bump.” I laughed and nodded. “Yeah, it’s starting to get bigger.” He bent down and kissed my stomach and smiled, touching it and whispering to it. “Hi baby, I can’t wait to see you…and I can’t wait to hold you in my arms, and protect you and comfort you…” It brought tears to my eyes.

He smiled at me. “I can’t wait to be a Dad.” He admitted. I smiled and kissed his cheek, whispering to him, “You’re going to be the best Dad in the world.” He smiled and squeezed my hand.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Nick got up and answered it; it was Joe and Stella. They looked like they were in a rush. “Hey, Kevin wanted me to run by and tell you cause he said you weren’t replying his texts…anyways, he wanted me to ask you if you guys wanted to come visit tomorrow?” Nick looked at me and I smiled. “Sounds great to me!” He smiled. “We’re on our way there now; they only want us coming couple by couple; it’s easier.” I nodded, as did Nick.

“Well, we have to run; they’re expecting us.” They waved goodbye and ran back to the car, and Nick closed the door and sat back down on the couch beside me. He turned on his phone and received a few texts from Kevin.

“Did they tell you the name yet?” I asked curious. He smiled and showed me a text that read, “Nathan Kevin Lucas.” I awed out loud. He laughed. Then, I started to think of some baby names for our baby.

“What do you think for names for a boy…?” I asked him as he deleted his texts. He thought about it for a little then smiled. “I’ve always liked Ryan, Aidan, and Matthew.” I smiled. “I like those. How about girls?” He thought about it again. “I love Kaylee, Alexis or Madeline.” I awed again. “I love those. For boys, I like Eric, Gavin, or Brandon. And for girls, I like the one you picked, Kaylee, and I like Marie…for a middle name probably.”

He smiled. “Kaylee Marie for a girl sounds perfect to me.” I thought about it for a minute, repeating it over in my head. I smiled. “I think it’s perfect too.” He kissed me quick and smiled. “Kaylee Marie it is for a girl.” I laughed.

The Next Day…
Nick’s Point of View

Macy and I walked down the corridors of the hospital, heading towards room 705. I held her hand tightly and she smiled. “I can’t wait to see my nephew…” She said. I laughed and nodded, agreeing.

We opened room 705 and walked in quietly. As soon as we walked in, we saw Danielle sitting up in her bed, eating. Kevin was sitting beside her bedside. He jumped up, smiling, and walked over to us. He hugged me tight, and gently hugged Macy. “I can’t wait for you to see him, he’s perfect.” I smiled and hugged Danielle as did Macy.

She looked pretty good; she had a big smile on her face. She looked tired, but I’m sure I’d be tired going through everything she has in the past few days. Kevin kissed Danielle. “We’ll be back, honey. I’ll pick you up a coffee. Just stay here and rest.” She nodded and we followed Kevin outside the room.

We got in an elevator and went up a couple levels. We reached the NICU level and we were forced to sanitize and wash our hands thoroughly. We slipped on gowns and followed Kevin into a large room filled with incubators that were each occupied with teeny tiny babies.

Kevin led us to the back of the room, and pointed to an incubator near the window. I smiled and walked closer, taking a better look.

He was so, so small. I’d never seen something so tiny and I couldn’t believe how many tubes and wires were hooked up to him. Macy had a happy, but sorrow expression on her face. I came over and rubbed her back soothingly, as she continued to look at baby Nathan.

“So, how’s he doing so far?” I asked. I had no idea how any of this worked. He smiled and crossed his arms over his chest, and never took his eyes off his son. “He’s doing alright right now; they’re just keeping a really close eye on him, and they’re making sure that no infections get into his system.”

Macy smiled. “Can I put my hand in the incubator?” Kevin laughed and nodded. “Go ahead.” So Macy walked over and put her hand inside, and touched the baby’s hands gently. I could tell how happy that made her.

I smiled as I watched the baby latch onto her finger. It made me think about how in roughly 7 months; we’d be taking care of our own baby.

A nurse made her way over to Kevin. “He’s doing quite well today; we’re thinking about starting to bring him off the ventilator within the next few days.” Kevin smiled and looked back at Nathan. “That’s great.” I smiled; I could tell how happy the news made him.

Macy walked back over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, smiling. “I can’t wait to see our baby.” I smiled and kissed the top of her head softly.

Macy’s Point of View

A few days later, Nick and I woke up to the sound of his alarm clock, telling us to get ready because I had a three month doctor’s appointment. I was nervous because of what had happen last time, but I was excited because today I might be able to hear my baby’s heartbeat, and that’s something I did not get to do last time.

I rolled out of bed, and kissed Nick good morning. He smiled and slipped on a new shirt. “Good morning.” He made some coffee while I took a shower.

Half an hour later, I was all ready to go. I grabbed my bag and Nick handed me a bottle of water and a muffin. We got into the car and headed to the doctor’s office.

“So, are you nervous?” He asked as we started on our way. I shrugged, thought about it, and then nodded. “Yeah, actually, a lot.” He smiled and squeezed my hand. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Things are going to be different this time. I promise.” He kissed my hand gently and smiled again. I smiled.

I loved that about him; even though he had no idea what would happen in the future, he always made me feel like everything was going to be okay. And it usually ended up alright.

We pulled into the parking lot of the medical center. Nick opened my door for me and I hopped out. Of course, there were a few paparazzi following us, but Nick and I tried our best to ignore them.

The air was cold and windy and I couldn’t believe that Christmas was only a month away. We walked inside hand in hand, and the lady at the desk brought us to the familiar small room I had been in not too long ago.

My heart began to race as memories flooded my head of the last time we were in here. I was so scared of that disappointment to return again. I didn’t want to hear the doctor’s telling me that there was no heartbeat and that I could try again in a couple of months.

I closed my eyes and sighed. Obviously, Nick noticed right away that I was in distress. He touched my back gently and looked at me all concerned. “Are you okay? You seem upset.” I shook my head and wiped my forehead as it was sweaty. He smiled and squeezed my hand. “It’ll be okay.” He assured me.

5 minutes later, Doctor Mackenzie walked in with a smile on her face. “Nice to see you two in here again; how’re things going?” I smiled and nodded. “Things are going alright; a little morning sickness here and there.” She nodded and wrote something’s down in her notebook. “That’s completely normal, don’t worry.” I nodded again.

“Okay, if you don’t mind, could you have a seat right up on this table?” She said, patting down on the table. I nodded and took off my jacket, and climbed up onto it; the crinkly tissue paper underneath me. She smiled and I lifted up my shirt a little so that my stomach area was open.

She put some of the gel on my stomach and placed the wand on it, and started to move around. I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer, hoping that things would in fact, be different this time. Nick kneeled beside me and held my hand. “Is that the baby?” He suddenly said.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the screen; there it was a little blob. I smiled with tears in my eyes; that was our baby. She smiled. “And this time…you guys can listen to the heartbeat.” She took out another wand and placed it on my stomach. She connected that wand to what looked like a set of speakers, and suddenly the sound of our baby’s heartbeat filled the room.

I couldn’t believe it. It was amazing to hear it; I can’t explain in words what it’s like. Nick even got emotional. I laughed and the nurse smiled at us. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat.” I smiled and she took both wands off my stomach, and I cleaned myself off with a paper towel.

I got up and sat back down beside Nick. Doctor Mackenzie smiled at us. “Well, everything seems to be going great. Your baby has a strong heartbeat and you’re doing just well. You’re going to be heading into your second trimester soon which is the easiest part of the pregnancy, and there’s usually less morning sickness, which is a good thing for you.” I smiled and nodded. “Okay.” She handed me a little brochure.

“This is just a little information on some pre-natal vitamins you can take, and foods and drinks you should be keeping away from.” I took the brochure from her and thanked her. We followed her back out of the room, and we booked another appointment for my fourth month along.