You're My Backbone

I sat in my room alone, reading quietly to myself. I always enjoyed this and most people knew. It was my time to forget all of my problems whether they be big or small and become engulfed into someone else's world.

I was curled up in the corner of my bed, under the covers in black sweatpants and a yellow v-neck.

Suddenly, my door cracked open slightly. A familiar figure peered in. "Uh, can I come in?"

I was beyond surprised to see him here. I only caught him several times during the school day, but now he was here, in my room. Where the hell is John?

"Yeah, I guess." I mumbled, sinking lower under my covers.

Garrett stepped into my room and lightly shut the door behind him. He slowly walked over to my bed and sat down on the end. He stared down at the floor for several moments, and I pretended to read my book. In reality, I was sneaking peeks of the boy every few seconds.

Oh god, how bad is it that every time I looked at him my heart ponded at an extreme, wild pace. I had never been so attracted to anyone before, and I was embarrassed to admit that I was even attracted to someone.

Every time he ran a hand through that damn messy hair, or every time he adjusted his black, thick framed glasses I would have to catch my breath. It was the small gestures that drove me crazy. The little things like when his leg would touch mine as we sat next to each other, or when he'd stare at me with those gorgeous, piercing blue eyes.

Gosh, this was so unlike me. I wasn't one to gush about looks. I was more of 'the inside is what counts' kind of girl. Not saying that I didn't find boys attractive, but I didn't talk about it If so. But Garrett, oh god, Garrett was a completely different story. I was in complete awe watching the boy.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" He broke my trance. I quickly snapped my head up to only discover that he still wasn't looking at me.

"Oh, uh," His question caught me off guard. I had to reagin myself. I had to get back to the person I was before he entered the room. The bitter girl that really wasn't too please with the boy sitting at the foot of her bed.

"Yes, I'm mad." I articulated each one of my words the best I could. I wanted him to know the stress and anxiety he has caused me the past few days.

"I'm so sorry, June." He turned towards me and finally looked at me.

Unfortunately, the second he looked at me, I lost it. My hear beat went up and I could hardly breathe. I forgave him. I did, I really couldn't not forgive him.

I nodded my head and my fingers started to play with the hem of the comforter. I stared down at my fingers for a moment.

Suddenly, I snapped my head up and moved so I was on my knees. I took Garrett's face in my hands and pushed his lips onto mine.

He was surprised at first, that's for sure. But quickly, he sunk into the kiss and thank god, was kissing me back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer into me. I found myself on my back and then noticed Garret holding himself up over me. My hands tangled in his hair as his tongue slowly slipped into my mouth. My eyes flicked open and I pulled back.

Garrett did as well, completely concerned. "Oh my god, are you okay?" He asked, shocked.

I let out a light chuckle after discovering his concern. "Yeah I'm fine, I just kind of realized I'm in my house and John is in the next room and my mother is down the hall."

"Oh yeah....." Garrett mumbled. "The mother that doesn't like me."

He fell down next to me. I propped myself up on one arm and watched him. I stayed quiet for several moments, because in fact, my mother did not like Garrett for whatever dumb reason. I couldn't respond and I couldn't comfort him, it was true. I found myself holding my hand, cupping the side of his face.

"Wait, why were you so concerned when I pulled away?" I asked.

Garrett's face turned a deep red. "Um, well, I don't want to push you, you know? I wouldn't want to do that to you."

"Oh." I replied, flattered.

Garrett held my hand and played with my fingers absentmindedly for several minutes. We laid next to each other in silence.

Finally, Garrett broke the silence. "I really am sorry about being so...... weird these past few days."

"Why were you like that? Did I do something?" I asked.

He sighed heavily. "I was just... I was really scared. I thought about ruining this friendship, but then I realized that this whole time I've liked you and I've treated you as someone I liked.... besides the whole kissing thing. But, every time I felt like John would beat the shit out of me and then something might happen with the band... and....."

Garrett continued on, but one phrase stuck out to me. Then something might happen with the band... Oh god, how could I be so stupid?

The band. That's what was most important here, to Garrett at least. It's all he's ever wanted and he wouldn't let it go, not for anyone. Even if that meant jeopardizing this relationship or whatever the hell we are.

I cut Garrett off. "What are we Gare?" I asked quickly.

"Um, uh, what?"

"What are we? What is this relationship? What do I mean to you?"

"Oh, June, you mean so much to me, you know that, right?" He asked and I simply shrugged. "I've had this stupid little crush on you forever now. I kind of lied the other day. I know I said I liked you since I saw you in here, but I actually liked you since before we even met. I saw when you guys moved in and then I saw you in school and I would always hear you and John talking and god, I was just so-"

I cut him off once again. "What are we?"

"We're uh,"

"Garrett, you come in here, you kiss me, you tell me you like me, this has been going on for four days now and you still haven't made a commitment. I don't want to nag you or anything, but are we you know, together? Or are we just friends with benefits or whatever that is?"

"Oh,"

"Because I need to know this. I need to know that you're not just going to come to me every time you feel like making out or apologizing for neglecting me."

"June, you-"

"Garrett! Where'd you go?" John hollered from the hallway.

"Um, uh?" Garrett looked at me with wide, fearful eyes.

"Go." I mumbled, sinking underneath the covers once again.

"No, June, I-"

"It's fine," I lied, "Just go to John before we get our asses whipped."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes. Now go."

He nodded his head and slid off the bed. Before I knew it, he was gone and I was alone again.