You're My Backbone

I slipped on a hoodie and marched down the stairs. While passing the living room where my brother and Garrett sat playing videos, John paused the game and looked up at me.

Great.

"Where are you going?" He asked, clearly curious.

"Halvo's." I mumbled, zipping up my hoodie and walked towards the front door.

"Whoa there! Hold up." John called and soon enough, he was in the foyer with me, Garrett peering at me from behind him.

I looked at John nonchalantly and quite frankly, not giving a fuck about what he had to say to me. After Garrett and I's kind of talk, I was not happy. I ignored Garret's curious stares and looked a John, sighing and waiting for him to speak.

"What's going on here?" John asked, and for a second I could have sworn he knew. He knew everything that had happened upstairs not even fifteen minutes. He knew about my feeling's for Garrett and he knew Garret liking me since before we even met.

"Wh-what?" I asked, finally breaking my 'i really don't give a fuck right now' attitude by stuttering and flinching awkwardly.

"You and Halvo? Why are you going to his house?"

Oh god, ha cannot serious believe something is going on between Halvo and I. "He's my friend John. And he invited me over." I shrugged.

John folded his arms over his chest. "Don't bullshit me June."

I held up my hands in defense and my jaw dropped. "I'm not lying!" I protested.

I noticed Garrett's curious glances now full of something else. The same thing I noticed in his eyes when Josh and I were somewhat an item. Right at that moment, it all clicked. Garrett was jealous of Josh and right now he's suspicious of Halvo and I.

I found something tugging at the corner of my lip. Good I thought. He deserves to feel like that. If he isn't willing to make a god damn commitment then he should be jealous of any other guy that I'm hanging out with.

At the same time I did feel a little bad. I didn't want Garrett to think Halvo wasn't just a friend. I wanted him to know that I cared about him as much as he cared about me....... actually, scratch that, he's not willing to make a commitment, how am I suppose to know he cares about me?

"Why are you smiling like that?" John asked, cocking an eyebrow and giving me a weird look.

I shook my head and let out a light chuckle. "Nothing. Look, Halvo and I are friends, that's it, okay?"

Before John could object, which I know he would, I stormed out of the house, hopping into his pickup and drove to Halvo's.

I knocked on Eric's front door and ended up waiting outside for a good three minutes. Finally, the boy opened the front door, his hair a complete mess and wearing red basketball shorts and a white v-neck.

"Sorry," He murmured. "I forgot I invited you over and I overslept."

"It's fine." I said, while stepping into his house.

"I just got a text from Kennedy and Pat, they can't come." He told me as we walked into his family room. We both plopped down on the couch and he turned on some movie.

"Why not?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Not really sure why Kenny couldn't come, but Pat had to visit his Grandma's."

I let out a chuckle, as did Eric. Soon we calmed down and I asked, "Jared?"

Halvo shook his head, looking down. We both knew the answer. "He's still beat up over it. I feel so bad about the whole thing."

"Same here. I still can't believe she did that."

Halvo sighed and shook his head. "Look, I hate to play the whole 'I've known her longer than you' card, but" He bit his lip and paused. " I just, I saw it coming. Well, what I mean by that is that it didn't surprise me. Darry was always flirting with guys. I mean, look at her and your brother."

My eyes bulged at his last statement. "What?" I asked, shocked.

Halvo chuckled lightly. "Okay, wait, I didn't really mean it like that. But remember how when you met Darry it was really through John. Well, she went up to John and started flirting with him. Soon, she found out he was friends with us so she knew she wouldn't be able to flirt with him."

"Oh....." I furrowed my brow. "How did you know that?"

"John told us privately with Jared there. We all had heard the story before though. We had caught her several times flirting, I guess we just never expected her to go all the way...." he trailed off.

"I have hardly even seen Jared since." I commented.

"Yeah, the poor guy is a wreck."

"I could imagine."

Halvo nodded, but then faced me. "Okay, enough about the past. Now tell me what's going on between you and Garrett. He told me last night he was going to your house today and that was the last I heard. What happened?"

I shrugged. "It kind of sucked, to be honest."

His eyes went wide. "What! That's impossible!"

I laughed lightly. "Well, shit happens." I shrugged.

He shook his head and chuckled. "Tell me what happened?"

"He came over and into my room while John was in the house-"

"Scandalous!" Halvo clapped his hands and cheered. "Okay, continue."

I laughed but kept going on. "Alright so he came in and apologized, but, well, this is the embarrassing part-" I looked up at Eric but he urged me to continue. " I kissed him because I hadn't kissed him since Monday and I just, couldn't handle it."

At this point my cheeks were burning and on fire. Despite this, Halvo made me go on, not being phased at all by this.

"So, after that I let him apologize, and he told me how he was scared of loosing our friendship but realized this whole time he's liked me as our friendship and all this other stuff. Then he went off about what would happen with John and the band. And then it all hit me that the band was going to be at least five times more important to him than me because it's what he always wanted. Then I asked him what we are and that I wasn't nagging, but I really had to know if we were together, but he couldn't give me a straight answer and then John called him and I told him leave."

I hadn't realized how fast I speaking and that I was on the verge of tears. Why had I let Garrett get to me? Why did I ever open myself up to him?

Halvo wiped a tear that was straying down my cheek. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. I curled up at his side, but didn't let myself cry. I took steady, careful breaths, and held in my tears.

"I'm so pissed at him," I confessed, through my shaky voice. "but at the same time, I just want to be with him all the time."

Halvo rubbed me shoulders and said, "He'll come around. He's just as scared as you."

The two of us stayed in that position and watched t.v. Soon, I drifted off to sleep against Halvo's chest.

I was awoken by a knocking at Halvo's door. I ignored it once Halvo called from next to me, "It's open, come in!"

I shut my eyes tighter and tried to fall back to sleep.

My eyes shot open once I heard. "You're dead."

I looked up to find my brother staring at Halvo and I, his face steaming with red. Next to him was Garrett, the expression on his face was a mix between anguish, anger and complete and utter sadness.

I sat up straight and tried opening my eyes. They hurt from the mascara and eyeliner I had eye. I blinked and squinted several times before I returned to normal eyesight.

"Fuck off John." I mumbled. I yawned as my brother gaped at me. "And you too Garrett." I snapped, my eyes shooting over to the boy.

I felt bad for snapping at Garrett, but as of right now I was just a angry with him as I was with my brother.

John turned his attention to Halvo, ignoring my daring comment to Garrett. Garrett, on the other hand, stood there, staring at me with those blue eyes.

"What the hell Eric? My sister, really?"

"John, we're friends. I swear."

"Then why were-"

"We weren't doing anything." Halvo cut him off. "She was upset and I was just helping her and we ended up falling asleep here, okay, that's all I swear. "

"What was she upset about?"

"Uh," Halvo began, looking over at me for support.

"I don't need to tell you that John."

"Well, if you don't then I'm just going to assume you guys just did it."

Garrett flinched and sighed lightly. His face was red and his eyes were sad. I swallowed hard and looked back at John.

"Fully clothed?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I don't know what you two are into."

Halvo snorted loudly at John's comment, which earned an ugly look from John. He quickly quieted himself.

"You know what John, you obviously have no faith in me. And so what if Halvo and I were an item? What is so wrong with that?" I shook my head. "I know I've never had much of a boyfriend and you're fine with that. But one of these days I'm going to. You've had girlfriends and I don't go off on you. You're just... ugh. You are just a dick. Plain and simple."

And with that, I marched out of the house.