You're My Backbone

"Oh my!" My mother squealed as I walked down the stairs, stifling my smile and flushing with embarrassment. "You look stunning!"

I bit my lip and walked to the end of the stairs, hugging her. "Thanks Ma."

I took this as an opportunity to reminisce about my mother and I. This year was rocky, but then again, it seemed as all of my teenage life was rocky. All I know is that my mother's intentions were always good- she cared for me and I couldn't get upset or annoyed about that. All she wanted to do was protect me, which in a cheesy way, warms my heart.

She pulled away from the hug, tears in her eyes and shaking her head. "I'm sorry for being so stubborn sweetheart. You're so happy with this boy. I see it in your eyes."

It was almost as if she was reading my mind, I thought. I let out a light hearted, shaky laugh. "You think so?"

"Oh yeah. My marriage with your father is not idealistic, and I think you know that. I always wished you could find a good guy and although I was a bit resistant on it you did."

I hugged her tightly once more and sighed heavily. "Thank you." I whispered into her ear.

I could hear the smile in her voice. "Oh sweetie," She began, but then left it in the air. She pulled away from the hug and smiled. She held up her camera and grinned. "Now let's go take some pictures! Your brother is outside with all your friends already."

I stepped outside and almost instantly my eyes landed on the girl standing next to John. A smile flew up upon my lips as I walked towards them.

"Daisy?" I asked.

Daisy turned around, her red hair blowing in the wind. "June!" She hugged me, which took me back a bit. "It's so nice to see you!"

"You came back!?" I laughed.

She shrugged. "John invited me a couple of days ago and I though 'Why not?'"

"I'm really happy to see you. This probably means the world to John."

She looked over at John, who was now talking to Halvo. "It means the world to me too."

I worked my way through the crowd, saying hello to the guys and their dates- all of which were nice girls. Finally I stopped at my brother.

"When did you invite Daisy?" I asked.

John turned around then smiled looking at my dress. "Look at you! You look great!" He gave me a large smile.

I shrugged. "You don't look to bad yourself, I punched him in the shoulder."

"Why thank you," He grinned, fixing his tie. "And to answer your question, I invited Daisy over the weekend. I didn't have a date and..... she was coming into town anyway so...."

"Well that worked out perfectly."

He smiled, bit his lip and looked over at her. "It really did."

I patted him on the back. "Okay, don't mess this one up O'Callaghan."

He grinned and looked behind me. "Your date has made an appearance," I spun around upon hearing this, watching Garrett walk across the street, his mother and brother next to him.

"Don't do anything our grandparents wouldn't, O'Callaghan." He pushed me forward as I laughed.

"Oh my goodness June! You look beautiful!" Mrs. Nickelsen rushed towards me.

"Thank you!" I laughed at her excitement.

"Doesn't she look phenomenal Garrett?" She asked, not really caring for her answer, instead looking at my dress.

"She looks fantastic." Garrett smiled, looking right into my eyes.

I sucked in a breath and took a step towards him. "Photo Op!" Trey called, pushing Garrett and I next to each other. Garrett looped his arm around mine and we smiled for the camera several times.

After Mrs. Nickelsen got more than enough pictures her and Trey moved around, conversing with the other parents and people attending.

"You really look great." Garrett looked at me.

My smiled faded and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Where have you been the last two days?"

Garrett's eyebrows raised, most likely not expecting my question. He sighed heavily. "I have been busy is all."

I didn't want to freak out on him. I wasn't that kind of girl anyway and I definitively didn't want to see like some melo-dramatic, obsessed girlfriend.

Plus, I already hated being mad at Garrett as it was.

"Don't do that to me again?" I mumbled, moving in closer to him.

His face was stiff and unresponsive. "Uh, um, okay."

I brushed my lips up against him but his response was cold and stale. I pulled away and sucked in a breath. I took hold of his hand and guided him into the group of people, hoping to forget about whatever his deal was now.

"Juney!" Halvo called and strutted towards me, holding the hand of a girl I had yet to meet. "You look absoluteness gawgus!"

I rolled my eyes at his choice of words (and accent for that matter). He planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek, before pulling his date closer to us.

"This, my good friends, is Michelle."

I stuck out my hand and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you." I smiled.

Garrett also greeted her before asking, "So how'd you guys meet?"

"Uh, see that's," Halvo scratched the back of his neck.

Michelle cut him off. "My last name is Halvorsen. He fails to mention that every time he introduces me to people."

"Eric, you're dating your....?" Garrett cocked an eyebrow at Michelle.

"Cousin! Cousin!" Halvo quickly shouted.

Michelle rolled her eyes. "We're not dating- that's just weird. Eric here just can't get a date. My Aunt- his mom- convinced me to go with him."

I sighed heavily. "You really couldn't get a date?"

"Hey!" Halvo objected. "Not everyone can fall in love with their brother's best friend, okay?"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Alright, alright."

Everyone piled into different cars and drove to the school. When we arrived, the place was packed. John, driving the car Garrett and I happened to be in nearly crashed about five times. Despite this, we finally found a parking spot and walked into school, finding the gym.

Our gymnasium looked like a completely different place. It was covered with different colored balloons and decorated with stars. An unknown cover band played at the front on stage and continued playing throughout the entire dance.

Garrett and I danced and he managed to loosen up and have some fun. He kissed me over and over again- much more passionate than before, which made relief wash over me. I sighed as a slow song came on and we dance with his hands on my hips and my arms wrapped around his neck.

I pecked at his lips before resting my head down on his shoulder. We rocked back and forth following the beat peacefully. I didn't pay attention to anyone around us- I didn't care. I deserved this. After a hectic year this is what I needed. I needed my brother and I to be back to normal, I needed my mother to respect my choices and I needed the boyfriend I always wanted.

And yeah, it sounds selfish but sometimes you have to be selfish. If you aren't going to be selfish every once in awhile how are you suppose to enjoy things? Look, I'm not saying be selfish and not care about anything but yourself every day. All I'm saying is enjoy your life and for once, not care about something that's going to happen.

Live in the present because if you don't, you might as well be miserable and scared the rest of your life.

We danced to several more up beat songs before deciding to take a rest. We headed outside to cool down. We silently sat on the bleachers to the football field. I leaned my head against Garrett and he took hold of my hand. It was nice to be alone with him.

"It's crazy in there." Garrett chuckled, looking down at me.

"Tell me about it." I laughed lightly.

Several moments of silence past before Garrett spoke up. "You're a really special girl June."

I was silent, unsure of what to say.

"I mean honestly, how many girls would hide under a table to keep their boyfriend's ass from being kicked?" He laughed.

Although he was talking to me, it seemed as if he was talking to himself. He shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. He looked up, bit his lip then stood up. "Let's go back inside."

I nodded my head, took hold of his hand and walked back inside with him.

*************************

"That was amazing!" Pat shouted, walking out of the school.

John laughed and draped his arm around Daisy's shoulders. "Hot, but amazing."

I noticed all the couples and dates, aside from Halvo and his cousin were holding hands and touching. But Garrett and I, we stood apart like an invisible wall was placed between us.

Our parents allowed us to stay at a hotel for the night- which surprised me to no end. We once again, piled into the van and drove to the hotel.

Now, each couple had their own room- obviously this was not planned by my brother because no way in hell did he want Garrett and I alone for the night.

But right now, he seemed to occupied with Daisy, so I decided not to say anything.

The drive to the hotel was about fifteen minutes away. Once we got there everyone parted ways and went to their own room.

Garrett and I walked down the long hallway, searching for our room numbers. Not that I had any ideas but my stomach couldn't help but form butterflies upon anticipating what was to happen tonight.

Garrett unlocked the door to our room and we piled in. We observed the king sized bed with an ugly gold comforter. "That looks.... appealing."

I shrugged. "As long as it's comfortable."

Garrett turned to me and I took this as an opportunity to kiss him. I knocked him over onto the bed and climbed on top of him. He smiled at me as I bit my lip. He locked his arms around me as I continued kissing him all over. He unzipped the back of my dress and helped me wiggle out of it. We stayed like that for a couple minutes, making out with me in my black bra and underwear- him fully clothed.

Finally, Garrett pulled away from me abruptly shaking his head. "I can't do this June. I'm so sorry. I can't do this." He stood up, running his hand through his hair.

He swallowed hard and looked at me. "We have to talk."

I climbed across the bed with desperate eyes and then stood up. "Okay. We can talk. What's wrong?"

"We can't do this June."

"Gare, we don't have to make out or do anything you don't want to. I'm fine with th-"

"No, no." He cut me off, shaking his head. He looked up at me with glassy eyes. "Just please, keep in mind how much it is going to kill me to do this."

My eyes widened and I looked at Garrett skeptically. "What are you tal-talking about Gare?" My voice cracked.

"I think....." He trailed off, then sucked in a deep breath. "I think we should break up."

I could have sworn my heart dropped into my lungs. I couldn't breath, I couldn't feel anything aside from the bomb going off inside of me. I suddenly felt queasy and nausea.

"Wh-what? Why?"

"We have to break up June. We just have to." He wasn't looking me in the eye.

"No we don't." I walked towards him and reached a hand out toward him.

He backed away from the hand. "I can't be away from you June. I just don't think we can do this."

"I thought you didn't care." I muttered, my voice still shaky.

"But you do. And I can't worry you. If you-"

"Don't you fucking put this on me Garrett." I mumbled, looking down.

His eyes raised to me then. I heard him sucked in a wispy breath. "I'm not. We're never going to see each other. And I don't know what that's going to do to you or me for that matter."

"I'm not as weak as I used to be."

"I know that. And I don't want to be the one to make you weak again."

"If you don't trust me then I can assure you I'm never going to touch another male organism on this planet. I can promise you that. Please."

Garrett bit his lip. "I'm afraid of the distance June. I don't want to stop your life. I don't want to hold you back."

I swallowed hard. "What are you doing Garrett? Haven't you even listened to John? John was afraid that you were going to fuck me up by breaking up with me. That's whats going to hold me back goddammit."

Garrett shook his head. "No June. You're strong," Finally he looked up, straight into my eyes. "You are not who John thinks you are. You are not as weak as he thinks you are. You are the strongest person I know, do you hear me? You are. You're stronger than me and you're stronger than John. A stupid boy like me isn't going to hold you back."

I remained silent. "I have to let you be your own person. I have to let you go in order to do that."

I couldn't speak, I just stared at him in awe.

"I meant what I said earlier- you are a special kind of girl."

"Aren't you afraid of what John is going to do? Aren't you afraid about the band and what you're doing?"

He shook his head. "Our relationship is completely different from the band and John. It always was, it was just too hard to see."

I swallowed hard. "This is why you've been so weird the past few days. You've been thinking about this. Haven't you?"

Garrett nodded his head silently. I nodded my head in response. I put on my dress and shoes once again and gathered my belongings. I sucked in a breath and walk towards the door. I closed my eyes and turned towards him.

"I love you Garrett. I really do."

I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear his answer. Then, I turned and left the room.