Never Turn Back

“Would you like fries with that?”

Ryan groaned inwardly as he waited for the customer to reply. He’d been saying the same old line for hours on end. If it wasn’t ‘Would you like fries with that?’ then it was ‘Would you like to super size that?’ If not then it was ‘Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?’ He was sick of the same old lines every day, living the same old life.

Tapping his fingers against the steel counter, he waited impatiently. Through the static he heard the customer mumble something between Nose and Note and he quickly jotted down ‘No fries’. As kindly as he could, he directed the customer ahead to the next window to pay. And then the entire cycle began yet again. A new customer, but the same old lines. He listened intently to the order and interpreted it as best as he could through the static and jotted down the orders. And then yet again, there would be a new customer and he’d say the same lines.

This was not the life Ryan thought he would live. Never did he think his life would be so damn bland. His life was boring; it was tedious; it was humdrum. If someone would have inquired him three years ago what he thought his life would be when he was a senior, he’d immediately answer his life to be titillating, to be exciting. But then again, if someone would have questioned him on whether or not he thought his girlfriend of four years, Annabelle, would have left him, he would have turned to stone and icily said no. Both times, he was incorrect. For, there he was, after his last year of high school in McDonald’s without a girlfriend or even a girl other than his mom in his life at all.

But Annabelle, she had broken his heart when she chose to leave him. She’d gone to college, something he didn’t stop her from doing. He was fine with long distance as long as she was his. He treasured her, he did. But she had wanted more. She wanted mature, college guys; she wanted to be in a stable relationship. Ryan didn’t. He liked the thought of having fun, being free, but he also wanted his girl to be there with him, to do it all with him. He wanted to live an exciting life and he got just the opposite, because Annabelle wanted a boy who talked business with her father and liked the feeling of working extra hours behind a desk.

Ryan was nineteen; he wasn’t twenty seven or thirty. He wasn’t ready to get so serious. He wanted to live. And that’s exactly what Annabelle didn’t. During junior year, he remembered how she spoke of kids and marriage already. He was still considering college while Annabelle had everything planned. But he loved her, so he agreed to it. Although he did agree to it, Annabelle decided he was too childish, that he just wasn’t enough. And so, she dumped him on their fifth anniversary leaving him by the candle lit dinner alone. And with that she packed and left for Connecticut to find her dream guy in Yale.

And now, Ryan was left without a plan, without anything. His friends had all but told him to nail another girl, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

Ryan wasn’t unattractive –in fact, he was very attractive, but he didn’t have the face that girls fawned over like they did with their high school football star Joey McCall. Ryan had brown hair that was of medium length. It wasn’t a buzz cut nor was it long enough to get in his eyes. It was a cross between a crew cut and shaggy hair. He had deep blue eyes that were surrounded by thick, long lashes. He wasn’t short or scarily tall. He stood nicely at 6’2” and a half. Ryan wasn’t completely buff with an incredibly defined abdomen but he wasn’t fat either. He was simply in shape.

He didn’t wear brand names; no Abercrombie, American Eagle or Aeropostle, and he didn’t shop excessively at Hot Topic, Pac Sun or Zumiez. Armani and Versace were brands he didn’t even acknowledge, much less wear. He didn’t belong to a stereotype unless being the average student was a stereotype or clique. He wore whatever he could find and he didn’t worry about labels or the latest trend.

He was the normal student that was neither popular or a geek. He wasn’t secretly buddy buddy with the most popular guy at school nor was he secretly hooking up with the It girl. Ryan was not friends with the jocks on the football team or the nerds in the chess club. They all knew each other, they just didn’t talk. He wasn’t a man whore but he wasn’t completely inexperienced either. He was Ryan Stone and quite frankly, he was content with being just Ryan Stone.

“Ryan! Shift’s over!” Called his only friend at work, Daniel.

Ryan nodded at Daniel before taking off the headphones and the ridiculous hat. Hanging the headphones up, he walked to the back room and went to his small locker. Using his keys, he opened it before stuffing the apron and the hat inside. He checked his appearance in the tiny mirror on the locker's door, adjusted his hair and sighed. Taking out his wallet, he shut the locker with a loud clank and walked out of the fast food restaurant. He looked around and spotted his run down, red 1966 F-250 Ford truck. Leaning against the hood was Daniel, holding his phone to his face and texting like a teenage girl.

Daniel Michaels was a friend of Ryan’s, but they weren’t exactly the best of friends. They worked together, and knew each other in high school, maybe had one or two classes together but they never really hung out outside of school or work. Daniel was baseball king. He was tall and lean with broad shoulders and biceps the size of your head. Daniel was what you’d call unattractive if anything. Sure, he was good at baseball but he was also good at keeping the same pimple face for years. His face was covered in zits. If it weren’t for the excessive acne, he would’ve been remotely attractive if handsome at all. What kept the girls rolling in would be the sight of him without a shirt on.

“Hey man,” Ryan greeted Daniel who waved at him without removing his eyes from his phone.

“Yeah, hi,” Daniel murmured and began to move his two thumbs two hundred miles per hour before pressing send and finally glancing at Ryan who’d gotten in the truck, starting the engine. Daniel quickly opened the door to shotgun and settled him into the seat and once again, glued his eyes to his phone as Ryan shifted into gear and backed away from the McDonald’s.

Ryan didn’t bother to say anything, knowing Daniel would only ignore him and focus on his precious phone. He never did understand why Daniel was so irrevocably obsessed with his phone. The boy texted faster than Ryan breathed and blinked. Ryan, however, could hardly type a word without at least six different typos and fumbling to correct them. He wasn’t very fond of his phone, it was just an accessory.

“Wait. I’m meeting up with Katie Henshaw at the movies. Mind driving back?” Daniel spoke up and Ryan groaned inwardly before replying with a short nod. He turned and swerved his way through Kroger’s parking lot and the other small stores around before passing into Cinemark’s parking lot. “Thanks, man.”

Ryan shrugged and once the door was shut, he drove off towards the road and towards his neighborhood. He glanced at the bland scenery of Cypress, suppressing a groan. Trees, grass and ditches were all he saw. Nothing like people wreaking havoc. How did he even end up living in such a boring place? He was never like this. He never liked silence or solitude. He found it best when everything was up and about; when everything was a complete mess. Instead he lived in a secluded suburb that wasn’t even known to the people in the area two towns down. To everyone, they were Houstonians but to everyone in Cypress, they were, in fact, citizens of Cypress. He passed his high school and then took a couple of turns before taking a turn into his neighborhood. After a few lefts and rights, he found his house and drove into its driveway before taking the keys from the ignition and getting out of his truck.

Ryan walked up to the porch and opened the door before going inside the silent home. Glancing at his watch, he looked at the time.

“Four thirty-seven…” He mumbled to himself before going up the stairs and into his plain room.

He kicked his shoes off to the side, towards the wooden stand that held his tiny TV and stereo and moved towards his bed, covered in a plain white comforter on a plain white bed sheet which was on the floor. The nightstand was a few magazines stacked upon each other with an alarm clock at the utmost top, and he was missing a dresser. Instead, his closet held all his clothing and his undergarments were strewn to the side, hanging in bunches on a hanger. It was best to say, his room was a mess. But in his book, it was as clean as a scientist’s lab.

Ryan collapsed onto his bed and stuffed his face into his pillow. He rolled onto his back and groaned. He felt dead to say the least. What was he doing here? Much less, why wasn’t he with Annabelle? Annabelle, the only girl he’d ever truly loved. She was his first and he had wanted her to be his last. Sure, she wasn’t his first girlfriend, but she was his first love. He loved her, he did. Why she had broken up with him and left was beyond him. He never did anything wrong; he thought he’d been the perfect boyfriend to Annabelle.

He grabbed the remote control and flicked on the TV. Surfing the channels he found the show Punk’d and instantly thought of Annabelle. She’d called the show stupid and immature. Although it was one of his favorite shows, he stopped watching it when he had been dating her, for she always hit him and ignored him for days when he watched it. Out of habit, he changed it before he remembered that he and Annabelle had gone separate ways. And then he wondered why. And when he couldn’t think up an answer, his day was ruined by his reckless thoughts.

What could he have done wrong? He kept his eyes on her only and obliged to all her requests. He remembered every important date and he planned each date to her liking. He never asked more than to hold her hand and his goal for each day was often to make her smile or laugh. He had been whipped and he didn’t even mind because he had her to himself. Sure, sometimes he’d been aggravated with how much she wanted. But he never raised his voice or his hand. He just stopped talking to her until he could cool off.

Annabelle was also materialistic. Expensive gifts, pricy flowers, and excessive shopping sprees were her definition of love. What he hated most was how artificial she could’ve been. In front of his friends, she’d be a bubbly, happy girl who liked having fun and was never too clingy and in front of adults she’d been the polite, well brought up girl she was, but alone she was often needy and so planned that if you asked her if she was busy a decade from now, she’d know she answer.

Of course, he wasn’t perfect either. Sure, he loved her but sometimes he didn’t want to be with her. He wanted to have time with his friends and he often had rants about her at work. He was a boy after all, and he had needs. He’d often wanted a kiss or two and was always disappointed when she turned her heel and walked off. He never got more than a kiss and so, sex never came to mind. Not that he never thought of it, he was a boy. Dirty thoughts just never occurred when he was physically with her, or rather, his dirty thoughts just never really included her at all.

He wasn’t exactly rich either and that was a flaw Annabelle found hardest. That was also something Ryan hated about Annabelle. How she judged him for his wealth. He had only raised his voice at her when she often bashed him around her friends about how his family was never the wealthiest. He always got angry when she spoke negatively about his family or wealth. What did it matter? Love didn’t need money, was what he’d said each time Annabelle told him to grow up and get a better paying job.

“Annabelle,” he breathed. He began to ache in his chest, missing her and her annoying scolds.

Glancing outside, he witnessed the dark environment.

“Annabelle, I’m going to find you. I will.”

He flicked the TV off and relaxed, shutting his eyes and attempting to fall asleep. And with that, he dreamed of finding Annabelle.