Tongue Piercings and Hair Flips

I was not attracted to Josh Ramsay, I was not attracted to Josh Ramsay.

There was no way on this god-forsaken earth that I was attracted to the blue and black haired male walking along the street beside me. First off, ew. He was like, thirty or something... Okay, I exaggerate; he was 27. And if that wasn't enough, he was a little bit greasy, seemed like kind of a sleaze and wreaked of cigarettes. Don't get me wrong, he seemed nice when he wasn't hitting on me.

But I liked girls I liked girls.

Then why did all his compliments leave me blushing like a bashful school girl? I wanted to groan, pull at my hair and scream at him to leave me alone; then pull him back so I could have that strange sense of security he gave me.

No, no it was wrong. Kenny made me feel secure. He was my body guard, of course he did. But Josh? Well, he seemed protective in the same way; only he was definitely attracted to me. A wall could see that. And what confused me more than anything, was the fact that I actually wasn't creeped out by it. Sure, I was weary of the way he looked at me on occasion, but otherwise I felt he posed no threat. 

Which left me with only one thing I could do.

We had taken side streets to get to the hotel and I was actually thankful that Josh had walked back with me. He knew all the sketchy little side streets that kept me out of sight and led straight to the back doors of the hotel.

And because he has been so nice about everything, I felt like such a jerk for what I had to do.

"So I know you know that I'm like, creepily attracted to you in the most shameful way... But I hope that doesn't scare you away too much. And if it doesn't, then we should definitely hang out more before you hafta leave Van City" Josh said. I shifted uncomfortably, not because of what he said, but because of what I needed to say.

"Actually Josh, this is the end of the road for anything involving the two of us" I said, looking at my shoes, rather than hispretty blue eyes.

"Wh-why?" he asked, actually sounding a little hurt. How did a 16 year old actually manage to hurt the feelings of a 27 year old punk pop star?

"Beeeeecause, ummm... It's too weird for me. I appreciate you apologizing and shizznat, but uhhh... I'd really like it if you could leave me alone from here on out" I said, before I turned and pushed open the door to the hotel; a sinking feeling in my stomach making me feel guilty for selfishly hurting Josh.

I like girls, I like girls.