Too Much Of You Is Never Enough

I sat down at the kitchen’s bar with my hot chocolate and waited for him to collect his belongings. I put my knees up to my chest and rested my hot chocolate on top. I fell into a trance as I looked out into space. Jack stared at me profusely, with a saddened expression on his face. I could tell that he felt guilty for telling me the truth that Alex tried to hide.

“Blake,” Jack reached for my hand, “I’m so sorry.”

I shook myself from the half-conscious state I was in, “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. It has nothing to do with you. Even if I don’t seem like it, I happy that you told me. For all I know, I would have never been told.”

“It wasn’t my place to say anything,” Jack tried to take the blame.

“Don’t fret about it,” I sighed, “Its nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing…” Jack commented.

I glared into his big brown eyes and my teeth found that familiar spot on my lip to bite on only to fight against the tears.

Jack squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile, “He just wanted to protect you.”

“Lying to me is not protecting me,” I groaned and pulled away from him.

“Well he didn’t want to hurt you because he knew that you would be too upset for him to handle,” Jack backed up his best friend.

“That’s not a way to solve a problem,” I let out of my mouth.

“That’s his way of dealing with something,” Jack went on, “You know how Alex is. He doesn’t know how to deal with these sort of things.”

“Deal with these sort of things? What the hell is that excuse?” I became more enraged than I had before. “He’s in a fucking marriage Jack. It takes two people to make it work, not one! I can’t be the only one here.”

“I just think that you’re overacting now,” Jack shook his head.

“There is no way in hell that I’m overacting. You would be the same way if someone lied to you.”

Jack didn’t say anything and that only proved my point to be true. I shifted my weight in the chair biting my lip even harder. I was surprised that I didn’t break the skin.
Faint steps patted down the wooden staircase. When the footsteps came to a halt, I raised my head up to see Alex standing there with a few bags on his back and one on his hand.

His face was blank.

Blank as my heart.

I wasn’t planning on saying anything to him since he didn’t say anything to me.

For all I cared, he could walk out the door and I would feel nothing… Maybe that was my brain talking on that last comment because I wouldn’t be this upset if he meant something to me.

Of course he meant something to me. Why was I even thinking, “if he meant something”? He was everything to me. He was my Alex and I was his Blake. Nothing would change that.

I wanted to run into his arms and tell him to stay here, but I needed to stand my ground. If I just gave into his auburn puppy dog eyes, then he would think it would be okay to go about lying to me.

He stared both Jack and I down before heading for the door. Jack turned to me with his eyes popping out of their sockets asking me what in the hell was I doing letting Alex walk out?

“Go ahead Jack,” I choked out, “leave.”

“What is the matter with you, Blake?” Jack carried on, “What are you doing?”

“Doing what should have been done a long time ago,” I admitted as his eyes bored into mine.

Jack shook his head at me and walked away into the distance. I didn’t bother to stop him and before I knew it, the front door slammed harder than I could ever imagine it to.

Then it hit me. I was alone in a house that didn’t feel like mine anymore.

~3 Days Later~

It had to be at least seven in the morning when I heard loud beatings on the front door, causing me to wake from my precious slumber. I leaped up from my bed almost immediately before walking downstairs like a zombie to get the door.

When I got to the door, I didn’t even bother to ask who it was because I was ready to yell at them for getting me up this early.

“What the fuck do you-“ I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him standing there.

His hands dug down deep into his pockets and his hair fell straight into his face with his eyes peeking through. He was wearing his infamous black skinny jeans with a flannel shirt paired with a gray beanie. I practically died right there from how good he looked.

“Hi,” Alex whispered to a point where I couldn’t even hear him.

“What do you want?” I grimaced as I clutched the doorknob, ready to close in his face.

“I forgot something,” he stated inching closer and closer to the door.

I hesitated for a moment to even let him in, but I slowly moved out of the way so he could pass through.

I shut the door behind him and turned back to his depressed face.

“Go get it,” I demanded in the most enraged tone that I have ever talked to him with.

Alex remained still until he saw my mouth open again. “Its right here,” Alex murmured and signaled to me with his eyes.

“What?”

“I’m not leaving here without you and I being okay,” Alex defended himself and stood strong.

“There is nothing to change,” I explained, “We’re fine. You have your life and I’ll have mine.”

“Last time I checked, we weren’t,” Alex went on, “You’re my wife and I’m your husband and we work through things together.”

“We’re taking a break,” I told him leaning up against the hallway’s wall.

“I can’t take a break from you,” Alex confessed, “These last three days of my life have been a complete hell. Do you know how hard it is to go around not being with the one you love? Do you know how hard it is to deal with Jack and his constant need for chicks and food? I can’t take anymore Chipotle and Home Alone!”

I smiled on the inside and jumped into his arms to connect our lips. “I hate you so fucking much,” I continued to kiss him harder and harder.

I clenched each strand of his luscious brown locks between my fingers, hoping that he would get the point that I wanted him away from me, but every time I pulled harder, he got closer.

“I love you,” Alex admitted between each breath of air that he could gasp for, “I love you with everything I have. I love you so fucking much, Blake.”

My body melted into his within an instant after he said that.

“I hate you so much that I love you,” I muttered on his soft lips. I couldn’t let go of him or his lips because it was so electrifying. We climbed up the stairs to our bedroom and dived into the ocean of sheets…let’s just say, things were back to normal.