Too Much Of You Is Never Enough

The sun shined through the transparent windows and sparkled all over my face. I stretched my body as far as it could ever possibly go and rubbed my dry eyes.

A pulling force brought me to a warm and soft wall. My stomach instantly filled with the butterflies when I remembered exactly what happened and where I was, in bed with my lovely husband. It felt like a dream after the fight that happened between Alex and I, but I knew it wasn’t because of the warmth he gave me when he was near... or his constant snore.

I glanced over to my left to see Alex curled up to his pillow with a slight smile on his face and his arm still wrapped around my bare waist.

“Faker,” I whispered into his ear.

One of Alex’s eyes popped open, “How’d you know?”

“No one smiles in their sleep like that,” I scoffed, “Only in movies.”

“Well there is no faking that smile after last night,” Alex smirked and began to kiss my neck.”

“I guess you’re right,” I chuckled because he was really on top of his game last night. I didn’t know what it was, but that fight had something to do with it… “Now that you mention it, what did happen last night?”

Alex hovered over me with his muscular body before gracefully laying on top of me. He continued to kiss across my neck and all along my collarbone and I couldn’t help but only let out a moan to encourage him. “You want to know what happened last night? Do you really want to know?”

A blush of red spread on my face with Alex’s constant smirk gliding on my skin, “I would love to recap it for you.”

“Alexxxx,” I groaned, “I’m too tired from last night. You really outdid yourself.”

“Mhmm baby,” Alex focused in on my lips, “You’ve got that right.”

I brought Alex straight to my lips with a pull of his face. After that, everything became steamier than before. Our kiss became more frantic and in need for each other and our bodies collided as one.

Out of the sounds that we made in the bedroom, Alex’s cell phone lit up and rang very loudly on the nightstand next to the bed.

“Screw it,” Alex muttered under our lips know that he was close to getting laid.

The phone rang once again and Alex was forced to answer it, “What?”

Alex listened to the phone and I watched his face turn from anger to a worrisome expression. I ran my fingers through his brown locks as he stayed put lying on top of me.

“I thought that we were leaving tomorrow,” Alex dragged out. This could not be good.

“When did this change?”

“Fine.”

Alex slammed his phone down on the nightstand and picked up his boxers that were near the bedside. Alex stood up from the bed once he slipped the boxers on and headed straight for his closet.

“What’s wrong?” I pulled myself up from the bed and covered my body with the sheets. Alex began to throw his clothes out of the closet to look for a decent outfit for the day.

“Nothing,” Alex grimaced and was going back to the dishonest man that I hated.

“Alex,” I groaned and put my hand over my forehead, “Please don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” As if he didn’t know…

“Lie,” I bite my lip hard to hid the anger and sadness within me.

“I have to go,” Alex popped back out of the closet, fully dressed and madness boiling within his eyes.

“What? Why?” My body started to shut down. I didn’t want him leaving me again, even though I still hated him for lying to me.

“I’m leaving a day earlier for tour.”

The fatal words sung out of him like the next Romeo and Juliet. My response was, “Can’t you just say no? Just meet everybody tomorrow?”

“No, I have to go.” There was no changing his answer. I could see it in his eyes and the tone of voice that he had with me.

I got up from the bed, sheets wrapped around me, and walk sluggishly into his arms. Alex softly put his hand to the back of my head and kissed the top of my skull. I was desperately hoping that tears would not erupt from my eyes, but I couldn’t promise anything or anyone.

“They are coming to pick me up now,” he whispered, “They should be here in about fifteen minutes. You should go get dressed babe.”

I rushed to get changed and about a half an hour later, I was outside with the band and crew loading Alex’s belongings and equipment to the bus as I stood in front of the house with Alex.

I took a deep breath in and found myself clutching to Alex as hard as I could. I pushed up against him, hiding away my tears.

“Please stay with me,” I cried into his arm trying to stay as close as possible to him because I knew that once I let go, it would be the last time I would see him for an entire year.

“I have to go,” Alex made that a known fact. Couldn’t he just stop repeating it? Every time he did, it made my heart break more and more.

I looked up at Alex with my damp eyes, realizing that the band and crew were all staring at us and being very impatient with my lack of emotional strength.

“I’ll be back before you know it babe.”

“A lot can happen in a year, Alex. Lives can change in a instant, imagine what can happen in a year.”

“We’ll keep in contact,” Alex confirmed just like he always did to make me feel better.

“Remember what that was like last time? We didn’t see each other for four years…” I pouted because that was the most horrible time of my life. I didn’t have the stability to go through that again.

“This is different. I promise.” Alex twisted my fingers in his.

I smiled coyly at him because that was the only thing that I could do for the both of us. It was the only thing that would keep me sane.

“I’ll see you soon,” Alex began the goodbye.

I nodded my head and waited for the kiss that would seal everything. Alex crashed his lips onto mine without ever letting go. The kiss made my heart rate skyrocket into the next world and I was near fainting if he continued.
Alex abruptly pushed away and rested his forehead on mine, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Alex stroked my cheek and then with a blink of an eye, Alex jumped onto the bus and blew me a kiss. His face was sincere and he kept eye contact with me until the bus drove away.

That was the last of Alex… for another year.

…

I was so sick to my stomach when I saw him drive away into the distance. I ran back into the house and leaned over the garbage can where everything poured out. I pulled away from the garbage can and found myself grasping my stomach in hope of relief. My stomach had other plans…

Throughout the day, the toilet or the filled puke can was my new best friend. I plopped myself on the couch with a spare garbage can next to me just in case. I began to ponder the possibilities of my sickness.

There was definitely something wrong with me, but I just didn’t know what it was. My first conclusion came to maybe I ate something bad, in reality, I hadn’t eaten anything all day. There was only one other possibility that crossed my mind… It wasn’t possible though… was it? I was on the pill, and well, Alex and I always use protection no matter what. We’re always safe and so there would be no chance of me being pregnant… right?

I began to panic and bite my lip profusely because of the odds that I could in fact be pregnant. There was only one way to test it and I needed something to figure that out.

I grabbed my phone out of my back pocket and dialed the person that I desperately needed right now. It was Emily. Emily was my coworker at Rolling Stone and one of my best friends. I felt like I could trust her with this sort of issue and be the person that could give me support.

“Hello?” a chipper voice greeted me. I was not exactly in the most chipper mood to repeat that back to her.

“Emily?” I lethargically said through the phone.

“Blake is that you?” She questioned almost in shock that I was calling her.

“Yeah I was wondering if you could come over,” I asked politely and straightforwardly.

“Yeah, what for?” I could hear the worry in her voice and that was never good…

“I need to talk to you and can you bring me something?” I whispered just barely for her to hear.

“What is it?”

I took a breath of the air around me that I knew was going to make me nauseated somehow, “A pregnancy test.”

Emily hung up the phone almost immediately after I finished those last words that she would surely not be expecting, even though I could be…