Too Much Of You Is Never Enough

~Alex POV~

We were doing another interview today and then had a show that night. I was so tired. We were nonstop for months. There were no breaks whatsoever in our schedule. If we were lucky we would get a day off, but mostly it was a couple hours that we would get and that’s it.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my life so much, but every once in awhile it would be nice to have a few days off. Those few days would go to Blake. If I had the chance, I would fly back to her for a few just to have her in my arms. I would give anything to have her here right now. Being away from her on tour felt like I was in the army, departed to all parts of the world, but having the time of my life. I just wish that we could have done this together, see the world together, but it felt like there was something in the way. Well, something in the way meaning Blake holding back. Ever since I left for this tour, she’s been so distant. She’s pulled away so much from me, and not just me, everyone. She hasn’t talked to anyone, not even Jack. Something had to be going on if she wasn’t even talking to Jack.

I tried to ignore it every time it popped into my head, but it progressively made me more worried that she was doing something bad. I trusted her with all of my being, but this wasn’t like her at all. She would want to get in touch with all of us, to see how everything was going since she wasn’t here to see it. She wanted to know anything and everything but there was nothing.

“You ready dude?” Jack patted me against the back.

“Yeah sure,” I felt like I was in a daze, my mind was still flustered with Blake.

“The guy from the magazine will be here soon, you might want to put on a clean shirt,” Jack suggested and playfully picked at my shirt for me to take it off.

“Yeah,” I coughed under my breath. I looked down at my shirt to notice that it had small stains casually stuck on it. I sighed in deeply realizing that most of my shirts were like this. It made me realize how much I really missed the washer and dryer…rather Blake washing my clothes for me.

“Hey what’s up man?” Jack looked at me with utter concern. He knew that something was up.

“Nothing, well maybe its something, have you heard anything from Blake lately?” I went ahead and asked him. There was no point of beating around the bush.

Jack pondered my question, “Nah, I haven’t talked to her since the beginning of tour, didn’t you talk to her a few days ago?

“Yeah, but she was a little off.”

“Hmm well I mean I’ve sent her texts and stuff, but no replies, I just imagined she was busy at work or talking to you.” Jack partially chuckled because he knew that the past that the three of us had.

“I guess, but its not like Blake to be acting this way,” I frowned.

“I know, but I’m sure its nothing,” Jack tried to push it off to the side to get me all cheery for the interview.

“Right…”

“You better hurry.” He pushed me forward playfully and walked away to the front lounge.

I rushed to my bunk and grabbed one of the shirts I had from the corner and threw it on. I headed to the front lounge to see that the interview was almost underway because they were already setting up.

I entered with a fake smile and greeted myself to the interviewer, and with that, we sat down and started rolling.

He went through a series of questions that were utterly pointless to me at the time and I’m sure that you could see it on my face.

“What’s one of the things that you miss the most on tour?” He asked without hesitation.

“Uh my dogs,” I spaced out and let the first thing pop out of my mouth.

“Family and friends,” Jack stated, “You definitely have to keep in contact with them as much as possible or whenever you can because you never know when everything will slip through.”

Those words struck me like a chord.

Jack was right. Everything in my life was slipping through. Blake was almost invisible, my career was suffering because I was worrying about her, and who knows what else.

This was no way to live my life and before I would know it, or change it, it would be gone.

…

“I know that this isn’t the right timing and all, but you have to understand that I can’t take this much longer,” I cracked to my best friend. This was the last straw.

“What?” Jack was taken aback and you could tell that he was nervous.

“I need to go see Blake,” I pointed out bluntly. There was no beating around the bush.

“What?!” Jack jumped back, “No no no Alex, you can’t!”

“Why not?” Nothing was stopping me, honestly. I was just running it by him because I couldn’t leave without my best friend knowing.

“We’re on tour right now, you can’t just get up and leave whenever you feel like it.” Jack scoffed.

“Jack, you’re the only one that could understand what I’m feeling. You know just as well as I that Blake has been so distant from everyone, and I can’t help but wonder that something is up…like she’s keeping something from me.” I couldn’t help but to break down.

Jack saw the shakiness of my voice and my entire stance completely changed. Jack delicately rubbed my back and gave me a quick hug.

Jack took a deep breath in, “Blake is a good and strong girl, she can take care of herself. You know that. Anyways, Blake wouldn’t keep anything from you. You are her rock… You’ll be home before you know it. It’s already been five months, almost six since you’ve been away from her. I know that you can handle a few more months.”

“Jack I can’t do that.”

It was the honest truth. I couldn’t stand another day without figuring it out. Even if I tried to call her she would hide it away.

“Yes you can. You’ve got the guys here for you. We love you and we need you here. I mean we don’t have boobs and can’t satisfy you like Blake could... Well I mean we could, but- no just nevermind. Anyways… We just don’t want you to get hurt or let you or us down if you go.” Jack half chuckled at his joke before waiting for my answer.

“I’m not going to let you down. I’m just going to fly back tonight and be back by tomorrow. It will be okay. I’ve made my mind up and I’m going…just keep this between us though.”
Jack paused for a moment. It wasn’t just any moment, it was the moment that would determine whether I’d be on a plane again.

“Please don’t do anything reckless,” Jack requested of me.

I looked at him and gave him a faint smirk, “I can’t make any promises.”

And with that, I was headed back to the states.