When Love and Death Embrace
<^>Sing me to sleep<^>
I felt like sobbing and a hole was felt in my heart, where something never was. I felt sad that she was gone. Why? She left me when I was 2, then had another daughter to replace me. I wasn't good enough for her. Well, if I wasn't then why did I feel like I had lost someone so close to me? "Ryanne? Are you still there?"
"Yeah, I'm here." I said quietly. I moved my hand over my cheek and felt tears steadily flowing down them. Damn my emotions. I don't want them anymore. I was never in control of my emotions. They needed to just go away. "How did she die?"
"She was killed in a plane crash." That's how my father died too.
"Where was she going?" I asked cautiously.
"She was going to see you. She saw you on your brother's show and felt it was time for you to meet her." I got angry. I had met her. I met her in every un-appreciative mother that I had ever seen. She could have met me when I was a kid, but now it was too late.
"I never wanted meet her! Even if she came to my door, begging for forgiveness, I would slam the door in her face." Even though I was saying such hurtful things about her, it didn't help the pain I felt.
"How dare you something like that about your mother?!" I groaned in frustration. This isn't why I dashed to my phone.
"Because she is not my mother. April Margera is my mother and always will be! Now I really have to go. I never planned talking to you today. I have bigger things on my mind right now. So bye sierra, nice knowing you." I hung up and immediately stared crying. Why was I crying? I have no idea. I guess it was because I always knew my mother was out there, but now I knew she was gone foreverit hurt. All my visions of how my mother would be died and floated away. I had to suck it up. She was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I opened my phone and dialed ville's number. Hopefully he'd be back home. The phone ringed, and ringed, and ringed. Right before I was about to hang up, a wonderful voice answered.
"Sorry about that darling. I couldn't answer my phone in the hospital. I'm out now." I sniffled involuntarily and regretted it instantly. "Why are you crying?" I had to think of an excuse.
"I'm not crying. I think I'm catching a cold. It's cold here." Hopefully he believed the obvious lie.
"Oh, well alright. I'm on my way back to the castle. I'm so glad to be out of that fucking hospital. What time did you get in?" I walked back over and laid down in the bed.
"about 4:30-5:00. Everyone had passed out in my room."
"Aren't you tired honey?" I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.
"Very tired. But I need to tell you something first." I didn't mean to scare him. But obviously I had.
"You regret it. Don't you?" My eyes went wide and I sat up in the bed fully. I understood what he meant completely.
"No! I don't regret it at all! Don't be ridiculous." Why would he think that I would regret saying yes? Was he doubting himself? I could hear his sigh of relief, but it didn't relieve me any.
"Alright. Then what is it you wanted to tell me?" My thoughts of the news cast were gone. It was like it had never happened in the first place. So I quickly said the next thing that popped into my mind.
"My mother died." After I realized what I had just told him, that I regretted instantly. "Forget I said that ville."
"What do you mean she died? April is dead?" the thought haunted me deeply.
"no! not ape, my real mother. It's fine though, I'm not sad about it." I explained quickly. Truth was, I really was sad about it.
"That's horrible ry, I'm so sorry."
"There was nothing I could do. It was a plane crash that killed her. It's probably how she wanted to die."
"Why would that be?" I hated talking about my father. It was hard since I didn't know him that well. Talking about his death is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. "Ryanne? You don't have to tell me if it's too hard." A loophole! I gladly took it.
"I'm sorry ville. I guess it's affecting me more than I thought it would." Nice lieat least I made myself believe it was a lie.
"It's understandable. She was your real mother after all." I couldn't talk about her anymore. I had to lighten up the subject.
"I wish you could be at the awards with me." He laughed lightly.
"Well you can text me during the awards if you want. I'll be sitting in our room, watching the awards. It'll be like I'm actually there." I sighed and laid back down in the bed.
"It won't be the same. I'll be bombarded with questions about you and me. Especially after the newscast this morning." I honestly didn't realize that I had mentioned the newscast. I was too busy thinking about all the questions the paparazzi would ask.
"Newscast? What newscast?"
"Oh! They were talking about skylar's arrest and what he did. Then they mentioned you, me and Jonna."
"Jonna?" he asked in a furious tone.
"Yes. They talked about how she shot you out of a jealous rage." He sighed furiously. Obviously Jonna was a very sore subject for ville and god forbid I press it on him anymore. Good thing I was exhausted. I knew just the thing to calm him down. "Ville?" He sighed, trying to calm himself down.
"Yes Ryanne?" Still madIt was now or never.
"I'm exhausted." He laughed lightly, yet sadly.
"Then I'll hang up so you can go to sleep. I'm sorry to keep you up."
"Ville, can you do something for me before you go?" I could just imagine his amazing smile.
"I'll try my hardest my love." Now for the closer.
"Will you sing me to sleep?" A long pause was heard, making my smile grow.
"What would you like me to sing to you my darling?" He said in such a love soaked tone, I could have drowned in it.
"Your choice my love." He laughed and agreed. I got comfortable in the bed and put the phone on speaker. "go onI love you." His sweet voice started flowing out of the speakers, easing me instantly.
Here we are
In the maelstrom of love
Waiting for the call
To sooth our hearts
Here we are
And don't know how to stop
Waiting for the war
To end it all
Love is insane and baby
We are too
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
So we too, yeah
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Here we are
Right back where we began
Waiting for sweet love
With open arms
Here we are
Just like before
Waiting for the wounds
Of that tender storm
Love is insane and baby
We are too
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
So we too, yeah
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
We are too
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
So we too, yeah
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
We are too
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
So we too, yeah
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
The salt in our wounds
The salt in our wounds
"Yeah, I'm here." I said quietly. I moved my hand over my cheek and felt tears steadily flowing down them. Damn my emotions. I don't want them anymore. I was never in control of my emotions. They needed to just go away. "How did she die?"
"She was killed in a plane crash." That's how my father died too.
"Where was she going?" I asked cautiously.
"She was going to see you. She saw you on your brother's show and felt it was time for you to meet her." I got angry. I had met her. I met her in every un-appreciative mother that I had ever seen. She could have met me when I was a kid, but now it was too late.
"I never wanted meet her! Even if she came to my door, begging for forgiveness, I would slam the door in her face." Even though I was saying such hurtful things about her, it didn't help the pain I felt.
"How dare you something like that about your mother?!" I groaned in frustration. This isn't why I dashed to my phone.
"Because she is not my mother. April Margera is my mother and always will be! Now I really have to go. I never planned talking to you today. I have bigger things on my mind right now. So bye sierra, nice knowing you." I hung up and immediately stared crying. Why was I crying? I have no idea. I guess it was because I always knew my mother was out there, but now I knew she was gone foreverit hurt. All my visions of how my mother would be died and floated away. I had to suck it up. She was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I opened my phone and dialed ville's number. Hopefully he'd be back home. The phone ringed, and ringed, and ringed. Right before I was about to hang up, a wonderful voice answered.
"Sorry about that darling. I couldn't answer my phone in the hospital. I'm out now." I sniffled involuntarily and regretted it instantly. "Why are you crying?" I had to think of an excuse.
"I'm not crying. I think I'm catching a cold. It's cold here." Hopefully he believed the obvious lie.
"Oh, well alright. I'm on my way back to the castle. I'm so glad to be out of that fucking hospital. What time did you get in?" I walked back over and laid down in the bed.
"about 4:30-5:00. Everyone had passed out in my room."
"Aren't you tired honey?" I nodded, even though he couldn't see me.
"Very tired. But I need to tell you something first." I didn't mean to scare him. But obviously I had.
"You regret it. Don't you?" My eyes went wide and I sat up in the bed fully. I understood what he meant completely.
"No! I don't regret it at all! Don't be ridiculous." Why would he think that I would regret saying yes? Was he doubting himself? I could hear his sigh of relief, but it didn't relieve me any.
"Alright. Then what is it you wanted to tell me?" My thoughts of the news cast were gone. It was like it had never happened in the first place. So I quickly said the next thing that popped into my mind.
"My mother died." After I realized what I had just told him, that I regretted instantly. "Forget I said that ville."
"What do you mean she died? April is dead?" the thought haunted me deeply.
"no! not ape, my real mother. It's fine though, I'm not sad about it." I explained quickly. Truth was, I really was sad about it.
"That's horrible ry, I'm so sorry."
"There was nothing I could do. It was a plane crash that killed her. It's probably how she wanted to die."
"Why would that be?" I hated talking about my father. It was hard since I didn't know him that well. Talking about his death is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. "Ryanne? You don't have to tell me if it's too hard." A loophole! I gladly took it.
"I'm sorry ville. I guess it's affecting me more than I thought it would." Nice lieat least I made myself believe it was a lie.
"It's understandable. She was your real mother after all." I couldn't talk about her anymore. I had to lighten up the subject.
"I wish you could be at the awards with me." He laughed lightly.
"Well you can text me during the awards if you want. I'll be sitting in our room, watching the awards. It'll be like I'm actually there." I sighed and laid back down in the bed.
"It won't be the same. I'll be bombarded with questions about you and me. Especially after the newscast this morning." I honestly didn't realize that I had mentioned the newscast. I was too busy thinking about all the questions the paparazzi would ask.
"Newscast? What newscast?"
"Oh! They were talking about skylar's arrest and what he did. Then they mentioned you, me and Jonna."
"Jonna?" he asked in a furious tone.
"Yes. They talked about how she shot you out of a jealous rage." He sighed furiously. Obviously Jonna was a very sore subject for ville and god forbid I press it on him anymore. Good thing I was exhausted. I knew just the thing to calm him down. "Ville?" He sighed, trying to calm himself down.
"Yes Ryanne?" Still madIt was now or never.
"I'm exhausted." He laughed lightly, yet sadly.
"Then I'll hang up so you can go to sleep. I'm sorry to keep you up."
"Ville, can you do something for me before you go?" I could just imagine his amazing smile.
"I'll try my hardest my love." Now for the closer.
"Will you sing me to sleep?" A long pause was heard, making my smile grow.
"What would you like me to sing to you my darling?" He said in such a love soaked tone, I could have drowned in it.
"Your choice my love." He laughed and agreed. I got comfortable in the bed and put the phone on speaker. "go onI love you." His sweet voice started flowing out of the speakers, easing me instantly.
Here we are
In the maelstrom of love
Waiting for the call
To sooth our hearts
Here we are
And don't know how to stop
Waiting for the war
To end it all
Love is insane and baby
We are too
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
So we too, yeah
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Here we are
Right back where we began
Waiting for sweet love
With open arms
Here we are
Just like before
Waiting for the wounds
Of that tender storm
Love is insane and baby
We are too
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
So we too, yeah
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
We are too
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
So we too, yeah
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
We are too
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
Love is insane and baby
So we too, yeah
It's our hearts little grave
And the salt in our wounds
The salt in our wounds
The salt in our wounds