When Love and Death Embrace

"As nice and sentimental as all this is, we really have to get going." I rolled my eyes at bam and walked back into my room. "Where are you going now?" I quickly grabbed me purse, cell and anything else I could possibly need. Bam was at the door, tapping his foot impatiently when I turned around. I walked up to him, smiling brightly. "Why are you smiling?"

"Bam, I'm just excited. You know how much I just adore award shows." I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Everyone knew that I hated to go to award shows. Bad things always happened to me at award shows. Bam laughed and held out his arm for me. I took it and leaned into him to kiss his cheek. He brushed it off and made a disgusted, scrunched face as we walked back out to the group. Their looks at me were now happy and proud ones. That made my nerves die a bit, thank god.

"Alright, all the jackass guys are arriving together. Ape, Phil, ry and I are gonna arrive together. Got it?" everyone nodded. Bam was always the one to set down the law. The jackass guys got up and walked out cheering and pumping themselves up. I felt bam tugging on my arm and saw him staring at the door, like a dog wanting to join the fun. I took my arm away and pushed him towards the door. He cheered and ran out towards his buddies. I laughed and turned to phil. He was smiling happily and shaking his head at his insane son. I then noticed that april wasn't in the room.

"where's mom?"

"In the bathroom, fixing her make-up." I nodded and smoothed down my dress nervously. "You look beautiful honey." I looked up and smiled thankfully. I was so happy to have my dad back.

"Thank you. You look great too." He laughed and looked down at himself. He was wearing his regular pants and one of bam's big t-shirts. "Well at least you don't have a hamburger on your ass." He rolled his eyes and turned around. There was a faded hamburger on his butt. Wow, they still hadn't come off. I laughed and shook my head. Ape reappeared from her room, not showing any signs that she had been crying. She smiled sweetly and held onto phil's arm. Looking around the room, she noticed her son was missing. "He's downstairs with his little buddies." She laughed and shook her head too.

"Well then, shall we?" I smiled happily, as happily as I could at least. I don't think anyone other than me realizes how much I hate award shows. We walked down to the lobby where bam was now sitting alone, tapping his foot impatiently again. I snuck up to hi and plopped myself down on his lap.

"Aww, did all of bam's fwends weave him?" he laughed and stood up, holding me bridal style. I laughed and kicked my legs. I may have hated award shows, but I was gonna make the most of the night. If only I would have known the futurethings would be a lot less complicated.

"Lets go, the people await." I groaned and fell limp in his arms. "you know you love the attention. Attention whore." I laughed and put my arms around his neck. I had a fear of him dropping me; years of experience.

"The attention I love, the questioning I hate." He nodded and set me down outside the car. Bam and I crawled into the backseat while ape and phil were in the middle seat. I leaned my head on bam's shoulder and sighed.

"So how's my lover?" I laughed lightly, eyes still closed.

"He's at home right now. He said that he'll be watching the show from our room while the house gets fucked up." Bam's body quickly tensed.

"Fucked up? What the hell do you mean 'fucked up'?!" I patted his knee, to try and calm him down.

"For this mega party being thrown for you. They're planning something big. Ville wouldn't let me go back to the house when I was there." He sighed and de-tensed a little. "Calm down. They're just throwing you a party. It's your birthday, have some fun will ya?"

"It's not my birthday yet." I rolled my eyes.

"Tomorrow is. Oh, when are we leaving for home tomorrow?" he ruffled my hair and laughed.

"Whenever the hangovers subside enough for me to drive." Ape turned around and glared at bam. "What? At least I won't be drunk!"

"Why don't you have either phil or I drive home tomorrow?" I laughed and shook my head.

"You're really gonna drive the monster hummer?" I asked reasonably. She sighed and turned back around. "Love you mommy." I cooed. She just waved me off. I leaned back on bam's shoulder as we waited in the New York traffic. I pulled out my cell phone, making sure it was on. Right when I had warmed up, I saw a text message from ville.

"the lover beckons." I hit bam in the stomach, making him laugh. I opened the text from the beckoning lover.

'did you ever find the pump?' bam read it over my shoulder, immediately wishing he hadn't.

"Pump for what?!" he yelled. Ape and phil turned around with confused looks on their faces. My face turned very red and I hit bam again. He laughed loudly and hugged my shoulders. I focused back on the text message.

'no, my date is a little flat right now. Thanks for the great text though, bam sure loved it.' I sent the text and scooted away from bam.

"Aw, sorry ry. I didn't mean to embarrass you." He reached over and patted my leg and I pushed him off playfully. "What did he mean though?" I laughed and looked out the window.

"When I was packing for New York ville saw the dress bag that I wasn't supposed to open. So ville joked that the bag contained my date in it. I joked about not being able to find a pump for him. So that's what ville meant." Bam nodded slowly and gave me the 'oookk' look as he looked out the window. I laughed and hit his arm playfully. "What? You asked what it meant, so I told you." He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Well then you two are the perfect couple." I smiled and looked out the window and up at the dark sky. Well, what I could see of the sky from between the skyscrapers.

"if only you knew." I sighed happily, subconsciously. I wasn't thinking about what I had said. All I could focus on was ville.

"If only I knew what ry?" bam pursued. His voice broke through my dream world. I stared at him with a confused look. "You said 'if only you knew.' well what should I know?" I got scared. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone and now that bam knew I had a secret, he wasn't gonna stop until he knew.

"Nothing bam, I was just talking to myself." I thought I had gotten away with that excuse. Obviously not my stupid mood ring eyes had betrayed me.

"I knew it! You're lyingyour eyes gave it away again." Fuck, I looked out the window seeing that we were in the line for the red carpet. We were about 3-4 cars away. I desperately wanted to get out and run; but that would cause me more attention from the paparazzi then I really wanted. So instead, I opted to running to my parents for safety.

"So mom, my birthday is coming up. Whatcha get me?" I asked sweetly. Bam groaned in frustration and leaned in towards me.

"This isn't over ry. I will find out sooner or later. You know I will." I nodded, keeping my eyes on april. Bam sat back against the seat, looking out the window. April glared at bam and then looked back at me smiling.

"Well if I told you, then it wouldn't be a birthday surprise." I playfully pouted and sat against the seat. Bam still stared out the window, looking pissed. Oh this was gonna be fun. Suddenly bam got antsy and leaned against the window. April, phil and I shot each other confused looks. Ape then turned towards her antsy son. "Bam, what are you antsy about?" bam turned to her, smiling excitedly.

"Avenged Sevenfold is in front of us!" my expression turned ecstatic and I leaned over bam to look out. Bam scoffed and pushed me off him.

"hey! What the hell is your problem?" bam knew I loved avenged sevenfold just as much as I love HIM.

"What the hell is your secret?" he retorted. I glared evilly at him.

"You'll find out at the party on Saturday. Now let me see Synyster!" I said pushing myself back toward the window. Bam laughed and looked out the window as well.

"You like synyster don't you?" I nodded, waiting for him to get out of his car. "What would ville think of your little crush?" I glared over at bam, smiling coyly.

"Ville doesn't have to know." I laughed, looking back out of the window. "Besides, it's just a harmless crush. I love ville." I was so anxious to see synyster. I loved his look and his guitar skills were godly. The car door then opened. First came matt, johnny, zacky, jimmy and finally synyster came out. He looked amazing as ever with his sexy leather fedora adorning his sexy head. Bam and phil started laughing and mocking me. They squealed and started screaming 'there he is! Oh my god, he's so cute! Forget ville and give me him!' like little girls. I sat up and smacked bam hard, then slapped phil playfully. Ape just laughed and shook her head. "You all are assholes. Mom's the only one that truly loves me." Bam sighed, looking back out the window and phil pouted at me. "the put doesnt work unless I do it to you all." He laughed and turned towards me.

"You'll be 28 in like 2 weeks right?" I nodded. "alright, when you turn 30 I'm gonna make you retire that pout. Understand me little one?" I nodded and leaned up, kissing his cheek. The car then stopped.

"About damn time we're here!" ape and phil were the first to get out. I was about to get out of the car when bam pulled me back in. "Don't answer any questions. No matter how much they bug you, don't do it. Just basically follow my lead alright?" I smiled and saluted.

"Oui mon Capitan!" bam laughed and practically pushed me out of the car. I stumbled a bit, but recovered gracefully. Bam, of course, had to make a grand entrance. He got out and stood on the step-up on the car, yelling and cheering for attention. I held on tightly to ape's hand, seeing all the paparazzi taking pictures. There were screaming for bam, ape and phil. I was happy that I was out of the spotlight. Well that was until one photographer yelled to bam, 'bam! Kiss missy for a shot!' my eyes went wide and I looked over worriedly to bam. He smiled and walked over to me. I prayed that he would kiss me. I didn't even look like missy, at least I didn't think I did. Apparently the paparazzi did though. Luckily bam loved me, he threw his arm over my shoulder and smiled at them. They practically chanted 'kiss her! Kiss her!' finally bam got fed up.

"She's my fucking sister dickholes!" the looks on their faces were priceless. I was a mix between confusion and disappointment. Some of them still chanted 'kiss her!', but my happy little family kept smiling. After walking down the red carpet for a while, bam went to go do interviews and all that press shit while phil, ape and I went to find our seats. Once we found our seats, I talked with ape and phil for a while and then pulled out my cell phone to call ville. I took him a minute, but he finally answered.

"that look on your face was priceless darling!" I laughed. Of course he would turn on the TV, right when I made my humility debut.

"Oh great, you actually saw that?" he laughed lightly.

"I also saw bam push you out of the car." I blushed and held my head in my hands.

"It's going to be a long night." I mumbled to myself.

"you'll have fun darling." I rolled my eyes and nodded. "So, do you know what time you'll be home tomorrow darling?" I laughed and crossed my legs.

"Why? Do you miss me?" I asked seductively. I knew he couldn't resist, how could he?

"More with every passing moments ry. Please tell me that you're coming home soon." I could only imagine was he was doing at that moment. Oh if only I could, I sure as hell wouldn't be here.

"we'll probably be home sometime midday tomorrow. Can you wait that long?" a cameraman then put himself in front of me. I saw the red light go on and knew I was on the air. Ville gasped over the phone.

"not anymore I can't!" I then realized that he was probably watching me on TV. I smiled and waved. I then blew a kiss into the camera. Ville chuckled lightly over the phone. The cameraman then thanked me and went off to find more celebrities. "Thank god for TiVo." I laughed lightly.

"Now I don't want you playing that on a loop, understand?" I knew he would though. Bam then came over and sat beside me with dunn on the other side. "Ville, I have been surrounded by 2 jackasses. Can I call you back later?"

"Yes. You have fun alright? Not too much fun though." Bam started poking my side, making me twitch. "Ry? Are you still there?" I squeaked when ryan poked me from the other side. "Did you just squeak?"

"UhhYes. Bam and ryan keep poking my sides." Bam laughed and poked me more. I squeaked again and hit him playfully. "That's it. Ville I love you, call you later. Now if you excuse me, I'm about to have one less brother!" he laughed lightly.

"Have fun and remember I'll be watching." He said seductively. Ryan then stole the phone away from me and started singing to ville.

"I always feel like, somebody's watching me!" he sang and then hung up. I took the phone back and hugged it to my body. They both laughed again and hugged me tightly. "I love you more than ville ever could." Dunn laughed. I glared at him and pushed them off me. Just then the lights dimmed and the announcer's voice rang through the hall. Here we go. The show was going really well and it was almost over. Jack Black was really funny and the musical performances were pretty good. Bam and ryan had just left to wait backstage for their part of the show. I was a commercial break, so I sat silently as ape and phil talked to each other. A few fans that were in the audience waved at me and I waved back. I suddenly felt someone tap me on my shoulder behind me. I looked at the audience's faces and the girls were beaming and the guys were holding up the rock sign. I took my chance and turned around. The face I met made my heart stop completely; synyster gates was sitting behind me, smiling happily.

"Hi, I noticed that you weren't talking to anyone and all of my guys left to go get drinks. So would you mind talking to me?" he was way nicer than I had expected. I would have said yes, but I couldn't speak. So instead I nodded my head, trying to get my voice back. He held out his hand, taking mine in his and shook it lightly. That didn't help me with my current mute situation. "So, I know that you're bam's sister; but I can't remember your name." come on ry, you're actually talking to himso talk! I smiled and nodded like an idiot before actually talking.

"I'm Ryanne, but please call me Ry." He shook his head no. "No? Why?" no one had ever refused to call ry before, so I had to figure out why.

"Cause I want to be different from everyone else." I laughed and brushed a strand of my new brown hair that had fallen out of place behind my ear.

"Well you're definitely different, I'll give you that." He laughed and nodded.

"Then mission accomplished." I nodded lightly and looked back around the crowd. "Am I boring enough so that you're not gonna look at me?" I laughed and turned back towards him. Why was I acting like this around him? I had no idea.

"You're not boring at all." Ape then tapped my shoulder. I turned towards her to see her smiling. "Yes mom?"

"Bam and the boys are coming on and I want you to see what I have planned." My mother had planned something with the jackass boys? This wasn't the mother I knew. This the mother I loved completely! I nodded and turned back towards synyster. I smiled and he smiled back. God, he had a great smile.

"Apparently my mom has planned something for my brother. I have to watch this." He nodded.

"Well me and the band are having an after party at our hotel room later. You should come." The jackass music started playing and I knew it was time. "Whatta ya say?" I wasn't really paying attention to him anymore. I was too busy waiting for the planned thing. I simply nodded and smiled, not really realizing what I had agreed to. He nodded and slipped a piece of paper into my hand. He then got up and walked away. I placed the paper into my purse, to make sure I didn't lose it. When I looked back up at the boys I saw weeman slam bam hard in the dick. I laughed so loud and hard along with ape. I turned towards her and gave her a high five. That had to be the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I looked back on the guys and saw that bam wasn't there. I turned back to ape with a concerned look.

"Where did he go?" she shrugged. Phil then leaned into our little huddle.

"After he got hit, bam walked backstage." I sighed and watched as fall out boy walked up to accept their award. Ape then tapped me on the shoulder again.

"When the lights go down, go back there and see if he's alright." I nodded and waited. Bam probably wouldn't want me back there, but at least I was showing that I cared. Fall out boy took forevergod I hate them. Finally they walked off and the lights went down. I got up and walked backstage. I flashed my pass to the security guard and walked into the green room where everyone was. Bam was sitting on the couch, huddled to himself. As I walked over to him, ryan tapped his shoulder; making him look up at me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked. I sighed and crouched down in front of him.

"ape wanted me to make sure that you were alright." He rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Right. She really sent you to see that I was fine after she planned the whole thing?" I smiled lightly and turned my head towards weeman. He smiled back and winked. I looked back to bam and put my hand on his knee.

"Alright, you caught me." He looked back up to me. "I came back to see if you were alright for myself." He laughed and shook his head. "Now tell me, are you alright?" he nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just have to plan on how I'm gonna kill weeman." I laughed and stood back up.

"Well figure it out at the party we're going to." He instantly perked up. I had a slight feeling he would.

"Who's party?" he said as he got up. Slowly all the guys stood up and looked at me with curious eyes. I took the piece of paper out of my purse and handed it to bam. They huddled around him as he looked at the address. Too bad the number said 'Brian Haner Jr.' on it. A million dollars bets you that they have no idea who Brian Haner Jr. is. They looked up at me with more confused faces, except for dunn. "Who the hell is Brian Haner Jr.?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out. Not lets go." They didn't care who brian was. All they cared about was that he was having a party and they were going. They cheered and ran out of the greenroom, yelling the whole time. I laughed and started walking out after them.

"You really want to go to a party with Synyster Gates?" dunn said from beside me. I hadn't even noticed that he didn't go out running with the guys.

"Oh hey, didn't see you there." He scoffed and started walking ahead of me.

"I see how much you really love me Ryanne." I laughed and ran up to him, grabbing hold of his arm tightly.

"Aww come on. You know that I love you more than anyone else." He laughed and wrapped his arm around me as we walked.

"Oh really? You saying that you love me more than you love ville?" I laughed and winked at him.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." He laughed and kissed my cheek. We walked out of the backstage and into the theatre. Most of the fans had already left and some random celebrities were still there talking to other celebrities. I looked around for synyster and the rest of the band, but it seemed that they had already left.

"So you never answered my question." Dunn asked. I smiled and kept looking around the theatre.

"And which question would that be my secret lover?" he laughed and held onto my hand.

"Do you really want to go to a party with synyster gates?" I nodded. He sighed and dropped my hand. He kissed my cheek again and walked off.

"Ryan! Please come back." He shook his head. He couldn't be mad at me, I just couldn't have him mad at me. So what did I do? I ran after him. I caught up to him and stood in front of him. He wouldn't look at me, it was like I had ashamed him or something. "Ryan, please tell me what I did." He shook his head no again. "I didn't do anything. All I said was that I wanted to go to his party. What's so wrong with that? Tell me ryan. What the hell is wrong with going to a party? You and bam do it all the time." He sighed and finally looked at me.

"You're not good with parties. You never have been."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I knew exactly what he was talking about. But I had to hear him say it.

"When have you ever been to a party and didn't get fucked? When ry?" I sighed and looked away from his gaze. "See ry? I'm right. You know I'm right. That's the way he is. He'll fuck you, leaving you with all the guilt of cheating on ville and then leave. That's all you are to him. I don't want to see you hurt like that." I looked around the theatre once more and saw bam talking to him. Ryan followed my gaze. I glared at synysterwell, sinisterly. Suddenly his eyes met mine and he smiled. I kept starring at him evilly, hopefully he'd get the hint and walk over. "Ry, don't do this." I shushed him, synyster started walking over, his eyes never leaving mine. Good. My plan is working. He walked over and stood in front of me. I smiled fakely and crossed my arms across my chest.

"Hey Ryanne. Are you alright?" I nodded and pulled dunn closer to me.

"Yeah I'm fine. Have you met my secret lover, Ryan Dunn?" they both starred at me like I was insane.

"Secret lover?" they both asked in unison. I smiled and nodded. Dunn then caught on, well after I slapped his arm he did. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer.

"Oh yeah, secret lover. I guess I am a secret. I shouldn't be though." He said as he hugged me tighter. I laughed and pushed him away a bit.

"I don't think ville would be very happy with having to share me." By now, synyster's face was contorted into a confused and scared face. I laughed and separated myself from dunn. "We're just kidding syn." He relaxed a little and smiled.

"I gotcha. So you guys going to our party?" he asked with hopeful eyes. God he's so cute. I looked to dunn and he shrugged. "It'll be fun, come onplease?" I couldn't say no to his face, if only I could. My life would be a whole lot more simple and happy.

"Don't worry about dunn, of course we'll go." He smiled and nodded. He had a great smile too, oh god. Don't let me fall for him!

"Great, well you have the hotel address and all that good shit. See you there." He then leaned in and kissed my cheek. Dunn's grip on my waist tightened and I felt my cheeks getting warmer. He pulled away and looked at dunn. "Nice to meet you ryan." He smiled smugly. He then winked at me and walked away. I was hooked under his spell, what the hell was wrong with me?!

"Ry, I told you. Synyster gates is a whore that you shouldn't mess with." I was angry, how dare he say that about someone he doesn't even know? I turned to him in anger.

"And you're not? How can you say something like that to a person you don't even know? That is so rude!" he scoffed and did that disbelief shake. I hate that shake.

"Oh my god! You are so fucking dense! Look at him ry, if you can't see a man-whore in him then I'm taking you to an optometrist. You must be blind!" I laughed lightly and turned away from him.

"You still don't know him." I muttered quietly.

"I know a lot about him ry. Especially about him being a fucking man-whore!" what the hell was he talking about, ryan actually looked hurt.

"Ryan, how do you know?" he sighed and started walking away. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "Oh no, you're not getting away that easily." He laughed lightly and turned his back.

"When have I ever gotten away easily?" I laughed and shrugged. He never really has.

"Not at all. So tell me or I'll castrate you with a piece of paper." He eyes went wide and he backed away from me slowly. "Oh come on."

"Fine." He sighed. "He hooked up with angie when we were in California. The next morning she woke up and he was gone. She tried calling him, but he had changed his number." He said, looking into my eyes. That's how I knew he was telling the truth. Whenever he looked into my eyes, he wasn't fucking around. "that's not what I want to happen to you. So can we go? Just be careful." I nodded and hugged him tightly.

"I love you, my ryan." He smiled and hugged me back.

"I love you too, my Ryanne." I pulled away and spotted bam coming up to us.

"Ryanne Jessica!" oh shit, what the hell did I do now? I hid behind ryan and poked my head up from behind his shoulder.

"I didn't do it, you have no proof." He laughed and shook his head.

"Yes I do I have proof, you goof!" he then smiled lightly at his own rhyming skills. I came out from behind ryan, still holding onto him. "Synyster told me about the party you got invited to. That number said Brian Haner Jr. are you cheating on ville or something?" I laughed and shook my head.

"Synyster Gates' real name is Brian Haner Jr. you ditz. I wanted to see if you would figure it out. Apparently you didn't." he scoffed and grabbed my arm. Oh lord, here we go.

"Come on. Lets go get wasted!" he yelled as we ran through the lobby of the theatre.

"But you're already wasted bam!" I laughed as we ran. I could see the red carpet ahead of us, getting closer with every step we took. The camera bulbs then started flashing...Leading me into the pits of hell.