This Will Always Be Your Home
One
My name is Alicia Elliott. I’m 21 years of age (just) and live with my best friend Alex in our 3 bedroom house.
We hooked up together when I was 18 and Alex had just turned 17. I was going through a really rough time in my life having just lost my very best friend, Catherine, who was practically my sister. We’d known eachother since we were both 7. We spent every morning break, lunchtime and afternoon break at school together. I could never have imagined life without her. When we both turned 17 (just two months difference between us) Catherine was dealt with the worst of blows. She was told, after almost 6 months of having excruciating migraines, she had a brain tumour; it was malignant. I was absolutely devastated and blamed myself for not forcing her to get herself checked out; for not dragging her, kicking and screaming, to the Doctor’s. Catherine’s attitude was always, “It’s just a headache! What can they do for me that I haven’t already tried to do for myself?” Even though I was constantly worried, Catherine’s relaxed attitude steadied me somewhat.
It was Catherine who introduced me to Alex, just a few months before she passed away. She was always concerned I’d have no one once she’d gone. You see, my parents put me into care when I was 5 and I’d never really settled with any family I was allocated to. As soon as I turned 16 I signed myself off of the care register with a look to try and carve out my own life and to try and scratch out the jumbled one I’d so far had. At the time, I didn’t EVER want a ‘new’ best friend; how could I? Caherine was the only family I’d ever known and loved. If I couldn’t have her in my life then I was quite happy to exist; to live the rest of my life in solitude. I shouldn’t really say I was happy about it, but I could tolerate it at least. Alex was one of Catherine’s “other” friends in so much to say that I’d never seen her, although Catherine talked about her often. I always wondered why Catherine never introduced us sooner but in a way, I was glad because it meant that Catherine was all mine when we were together.
Catherine refused any more treatment in the last month running up to her death. She didn’t see the point in prolonging the inevitable. For her, it meant she could at least try and have some semblance of control of her life and an ounce of normality before she had to go. It was then that she decided to bring Alex and I together for the first time. Catherine arranged a girl’s night in at our home, the home which was passed down to her from her Grandmother and the home which we’d shared together since we were 16. The mortgage had been paid off many years ago so the only expenditures were for food and bills etc. Anyway, I stray from the point. The night was arranged; a Friday night of film, food and fine wine (the one thing Catherine and I were both sticklers for - good wine).
I was pretty nervous when I answered the door to Alex. How would I greet her? What could we possibly have in common? What would we talk about? Those questions and so many more were flitting round my head, then Alex spoke.
“Um, Hi, Alicia isn’t it?” she stuttered
“Oh, yes, um sorry, yes Alicia. Alex?” I stuttered back, holding out my hand to shake hers.
“Yup surree!” Alex retorted cheerfully.
“Well, you better come on in then,” I said, “I’m obviously not going to introduce you to Catherine!”
I led Alex through to the kitchen where Catherine was busy finishing off canapés and nibbles for our film-fest girly night. Alex sashayed straight up to Catherine and gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Stupidly, I felt jealous. Wasn’t I the only one who could be like that with Catherine? How could Catherine be like that with anyone else? I looked away, pretending I was unperturbed.
“Alicia,” Catherine said, “are you okay honey?”
“Oh, me? Yes, I’m fine.” I answered even though we both knew I seemed a little put out. “I was just trying to find some wine glasses.” I wasn’t!
“Here,” Catherine said as she reached up to the cupboard above her, “There you are. The Chilean red is on the counter there.” She pointed to the island in the centre of the kitchen.
Alex was sizing me up; she could sense I was acting a little strangely which didn’t go unnoticed by Catherine either.
“Alex,” I asked, “would you like a glass?”
“Um, yes, just a bit!” She replied with friendly sarcasm.
I pop the cork and pour. The wine glugs into the glass Alex is holding up. She takes a sip and lets out an “Mmmmmm”. I then go on to pour Catherine and I a glass. Once Catherine had finished the food she takes the tray of nibbles and her wine and we follow her to the living room.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush,” Catherine said, very matter of fact-ly, “there’s a reason why I’ve got you two together. This is not just any old girl’s night in.”
I look at Catherine, then at Alex and we all seem to nod in unison; we know what’s coming.
“As it stands, I have about a month or so left,” she says, her voice firm and unwavering, “and I know you don’t like me talking like this but really, what else can I do?” Alex and I know she’s totally right.
“The last thing I want is to leave both of you without a) a best friend and b) without knowing who eachother is.” Catherine said, “You are both equally important to me and yet you’ve never known of eachother until tonight really. I cannot leave without knowing you’ll be fine and I think that the two of you, together, will be able to make a strong friendship and life together once I’ve gone. Can you understand that?”
“Yes,” Alex and I both say sadly.
“So, that’s the reason I’ve asked you here tonight Alex. You two need to get to know eachother,” Catherine emphasises the “need”, “and what better way to do that than if Alex, you would move in with us. Would you Alex?”
Alex looks a little put on the spot and she “Um’s” and “Ah’s” and bites her nails and rolls her eyes and all the while I’m watching her, wondering what her reply will be.
“Well,” Alex replied, “What an offer! I’ve thought about it and yes, I would love to move in. I do have to give a months’ notice to my landlord though.”
“Oh, of course,” Catherine replied in agreement, “Nothing to stop you getting your stuff together though and at least get the ball rolling? The quicker we get your stuff in the better.”
Catherine was absolutely serious. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so serious about anything .... ever! With business over, we go on to enjoy a night of food and wine. The films go by the wayside though as we talk about our plans for the big move.
We hooked up together when I was 18 and Alex had just turned 17. I was going through a really rough time in my life having just lost my very best friend, Catherine, who was practically my sister. We’d known eachother since we were both 7. We spent every morning break, lunchtime and afternoon break at school together. I could never have imagined life without her. When we both turned 17 (just two months difference between us) Catherine was dealt with the worst of blows. She was told, after almost 6 months of having excruciating migraines, she had a brain tumour; it was malignant. I was absolutely devastated and blamed myself for not forcing her to get herself checked out; for not dragging her, kicking and screaming, to the Doctor’s. Catherine’s attitude was always, “It’s just a headache! What can they do for me that I haven’t already tried to do for myself?” Even though I was constantly worried, Catherine’s relaxed attitude steadied me somewhat.
It was Catherine who introduced me to Alex, just a few months before she passed away. She was always concerned I’d have no one once she’d gone. You see, my parents put me into care when I was 5 and I’d never really settled with any family I was allocated to. As soon as I turned 16 I signed myself off of the care register with a look to try and carve out my own life and to try and scratch out the jumbled one I’d so far had. At the time, I didn’t EVER want a ‘new’ best friend; how could I? Caherine was the only family I’d ever known and loved. If I couldn’t have her in my life then I was quite happy to exist; to live the rest of my life in solitude. I shouldn’t really say I was happy about it, but I could tolerate it at least. Alex was one of Catherine’s “other” friends in so much to say that I’d never seen her, although Catherine talked about her often. I always wondered why Catherine never introduced us sooner but in a way, I was glad because it meant that Catherine was all mine when we were together.
Catherine refused any more treatment in the last month running up to her death. She didn’t see the point in prolonging the inevitable. For her, it meant she could at least try and have some semblance of control of her life and an ounce of normality before she had to go. It was then that she decided to bring Alex and I together for the first time. Catherine arranged a girl’s night in at our home, the home which was passed down to her from her Grandmother and the home which we’d shared together since we were 16. The mortgage had been paid off many years ago so the only expenditures were for food and bills etc. Anyway, I stray from the point. The night was arranged; a Friday night of film, food and fine wine (the one thing Catherine and I were both sticklers for - good wine).
I was pretty nervous when I answered the door to Alex. How would I greet her? What could we possibly have in common? What would we talk about? Those questions and so many more were flitting round my head, then Alex spoke.
“Um, Hi, Alicia isn’t it?” she stuttered
“Oh, yes, um sorry, yes Alicia. Alex?” I stuttered back, holding out my hand to shake hers.
“Yup surree!” Alex retorted cheerfully.
“Well, you better come on in then,” I said, “I’m obviously not going to introduce you to Catherine!”
I led Alex through to the kitchen where Catherine was busy finishing off canapés and nibbles for our film-fest girly night. Alex sashayed straight up to Catherine and gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Stupidly, I felt jealous. Wasn’t I the only one who could be like that with Catherine? How could Catherine be like that with anyone else? I looked away, pretending I was unperturbed.
“Alicia,” Catherine said, “are you okay honey?”
“Oh, me? Yes, I’m fine.” I answered even though we both knew I seemed a little put out. “I was just trying to find some wine glasses.” I wasn’t!
“Here,” Catherine said as she reached up to the cupboard above her, “There you are. The Chilean red is on the counter there.” She pointed to the island in the centre of the kitchen.
Alex was sizing me up; she could sense I was acting a little strangely which didn’t go unnoticed by Catherine either.
“Alex,” I asked, “would you like a glass?”
“Um, yes, just a bit!” She replied with friendly sarcasm.
I pop the cork and pour. The wine glugs into the glass Alex is holding up. She takes a sip and lets out an “Mmmmmm”. I then go on to pour Catherine and I a glass. Once Catherine had finished the food she takes the tray of nibbles and her wine and we follow her to the living room.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush,” Catherine said, very matter of fact-ly, “there’s a reason why I’ve got you two together. This is not just any old girl’s night in.”
I look at Catherine, then at Alex and we all seem to nod in unison; we know what’s coming.
“As it stands, I have about a month or so left,” she says, her voice firm and unwavering, “and I know you don’t like me talking like this but really, what else can I do?” Alex and I know she’s totally right.
“The last thing I want is to leave both of you without a) a best friend and b) without knowing who eachother is.” Catherine said, “You are both equally important to me and yet you’ve never known of eachother until tonight really. I cannot leave without knowing you’ll be fine and I think that the two of you, together, will be able to make a strong friendship and life together once I’ve gone. Can you understand that?”
“Yes,” Alex and I both say sadly.
“So, that’s the reason I’ve asked you here tonight Alex. You two need to get to know eachother,” Catherine emphasises the “need”, “and what better way to do that than if Alex, you would move in with us. Would you Alex?”
Alex looks a little put on the spot and she “Um’s” and “Ah’s” and bites her nails and rolls her eyes and all the while I’m watching her, wondering what her reply will be.
“Well,” Alex replied, “What an offer! I’ve thought about it and yes, I would love to move in. I do have to give a months’ notice to my landlord though.”
“Oh, of course,” Catherine replied in agreement, “Nothing to stop you getting your stuff together though and at least get the ball rolling? The quicker we get your stuff in the better.”
Catherine was absolutely serious. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so serious about anything .... ever! With business over, we go on to enjoy a night of food and wine. The films go by the wayside though as we talk about our plans for the big move.
♠ ♠ ♠
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