The Crosby Life

Matt’s PoV:
I found the missing NHL queen by the pool of the Lemieux house, shivering in what little clothing she had on to be outside. Her legs were brought to her chest, and her head was hidden in her knees.
I took off my coat, and walked up to her, draping it over her shoulders. She barely moved, and I licked my lips, not really sure what to do next. She’s the one everyone goes to for problems like this, or I went to my wife. And since she’s the one with the problem, and I didn’t have my wife here, I was a little lost.
I decided to sit next to her, despite the cold snow on my ass, and together we sat there in silence. I knew she was crying, but she’s not the type of person who wants people to see her cry.
Finally, she shifted her body and pulled my coat around her a little tighter. She’s a tough cookie, but she will eventually give in if one has patience. And I live off of patience because of my kids.
“I went off on my best friend,” she whispered, her voice thick and raw from her silence sobs.
I looked at her. Her head was still hidden in her knees, so I reached over and pulled some hair away from her hiding face, tucking it behind her ear. “Sierra,” I said softly. “It’s understandable. I would have too.”
She shook her head slightly, her chocolate hair falling in her face again. “I said that she can’t just come back and claim everything as her own,” she said with so much grief that my heart hurt. “I pretty much told her she doesn’t belong.”
“She knows you were just mad, Sierra,” I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulders comfortingly. She leaned into my body with her quivering one. “I talked to her. Emelie knows you were only angry. She’s not mad, or upset, except at herself.”
Sierra nodded slightly and I pulled her into me more. She was absolutely freezing.
Was I really the only one seeing the change in this usually strong girl in my arms? I know for a fact Duper noticed, for we were talking about it, but I believe we are the only ones. I don’t understand how, however, since it’s obvious that she’s become more emotional.
Duper and I realized a few days ago that’s it’s hockey that’s doing this to her. But we don’t know why. Or understand why.
“Thank you,” Sierra said suddenly, lifting her head from her knees. She was still shivering, so I kept her close. “I should be heading home now.”
I looked at her. “We have a game,” I said carefully.
A strange look passed through her eyes, and I realized that she had forgotten. She never forgets anything.
“Sierra, maybe you should stay home tonight,” I said to her.
She shook her head and stood unsteadily. I stood with her to hold onto her. “No, the team needs me.” She licked her lips.
I knew better than to say anything else.
I led her back to the front of the house, and saw Emelie in the window. I decided that I’d drive Sierra if she insisted on going, and I called Flower on the way so he’d know not to wait for her. The truth is, I’m worried beyond on belief. It seems to me like her brain is just shutting itself down.
Something isn’t right with Sierra Crosby, and I didn’t want her out of my sight.

Sierra’s PoV:
Cookie drove me to the game that I had completely forgotten about, and I found it weird. Both parts of that sentence. Cookie doesn’t usually drive me anywhere, and I never forget about games.
And the game was not my best.
I couldn’t get my head in it. Emelie tried to talk to me, but I would just stare at her as if she was speaking German, not English or French.
Marc tried to talk to me too, since he was taking the game off, but nothing was registering in my head.
I was on the ice, in a complete daze, and I don’t remember the puck being dropped. My brows furrowed as I followed the puck, and out of no where I rammed into a very large, Russian body.
A gasp escaped my lips as I flew backwards onto the ice, not being able to catch myself. I didn’t understand why not, and my head hit the ice.
“Sierra!” Geno said as the refs blew the whistle. “Sierra?” His dark eyes were clouded with guilt and concern. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know you were looking. I thought you knew what was going on. I’m so sorry.”
I could see his lips move, but his voice wasn’t registering.
“Stop apologizing, Geno,” Cookie said, helping me into a sitting position. “It isn’t your fault. She wasn’t where she was supposed to be.” I gave him a hard look, but he only gave me one back. “She’s done.”
I tried to protest, but found I couldn’t really talk. They pulled me up and helped me to the bench, where Marc looked at me with wild, concerned eyes. Dan told him he had to go in net, because Johnny was complaining of a bruised elbow, but I saw Johnny say something to Marc that eased him.
I was helped down the runway, falling over myself. I couldn’t understand why everything about me is the way it is right now. I couldn’t focus, at all, and I didn’t even register that I was sitting in the medical room with Brent.
“Erra?” He said carefully, his face close to mine. “Erra, hon, look at me?”
It took a lot of effort to look him in the eyes. I couldn’t read the expression on his face, which is rare for me. I can always read a person’s look.
“Sierra, hon, I’m going to help you get out of your gear, ok? Is that ok?”
I forced myself to nod.
Brent stared at me for a moment longer before sitting me down, carefully unlacing my skates and pulling them off my feet. I only blinked at him, not understanding why I was being helped. I’m a big girl, so why was I being undressed like a five year old who just started hockey?
Brent pulled my jersey over my head, and undid my shoulder pads. I shivered at just being in my cami, and he wrapped a blanket around my shoulders as I helped out as much as I could with my hockey pants.
He undid the wrappings on my legs and went to Marc’s locker, pulling out a pair of my fiance’s sweats. He helped me into them, and rubbed my arms to warm be up.
Brent then left me alone, and I found myself crying silently to myself.
I got up and looked in the mirror in the corner of the room, and wiped the tears out of my eyes. “What’s wrong with me?” I whispered to myself, shocking myself because my voice didn’t sound like me. It sounded like someone who hasn’t spoken in forever, or been crying for too long.
I stayed, curled up and warm, in the medical room until Geno walked in, with Tanger on his tail. The two of them stared at me as I sat on the floor curled up again a wall, until Geno dropped into a squat next to me. “Er-bear?” He asked, concern on his face. “Are you ok?”
I felt myself nod to him, and then Tanger was squatting in front of me too, just a little bit farther away than Geno. “Sierra...”
I looked up and met both of their eyes, feeling a sudden wave of emotions crash over me. Tears filled my eyes, and both of them looked shocked and unsure of what to do. I never cry, especially not in front of people.
“Sierra,” Geno said gently, reaching out to me. “Erra, you sure you’re ok? You don’t look alright. Can we do anything to help?”
My jaw quivered and I shook my head.
Tanger went to reach out for me. “Sierra~”
I broke him off, pushing him away from me with a loud sob. I stood up suddenly, which caused both of them to fall back on their butts, and I quivered as I pulled the blanket around me tighter. I knew how I looked to them, scared, confused, and crying, but nothing was making sense to me in any way. “Stop saying that,” I screeched, my mascara running down my cheeks.
Tanger looked at me, wide-eyed, and Geno looked like a gaping fish. “Sierra, we only trying help,” Geno said carefully.
I shook my head violently and back against the wall. “Stop helping me! Stop it! You don’t understand!”
“Then help us understand,” Tanger said with a serious look on his face.
I stared at him for a long moment before my body started to shake violently. I began finding it hard to breathe, and when Tanger reached out to me, I smacked him away and cowered into the corner of the medical office. “Stop touching me!” I yelled, sobbing. “Stop! Stop, stop stop!”
Geno backed up and looked over at Tanger, who translated what I said because I was speaking in French. I saw the confusion on both of their faces, and noticed that Tanger locked the door. I couldn’t understand though, I didn’t understand why.
“Is this about Emelie?” Tanger asked carefully, keeping his distance while shaking his hand that I smacked.
I stared at him for a long moment. It didn’t surprise me that the news spread so fast, but for some reason it only made me sob even harder.
“It’s about everything!” I screamed, ignoring the knock at the door. “Emelie throwing herself at my brother! This HBO series about us just because of the stupid Winter Classic! My last hockey season! I’m trying so hard to make my last season worth while so I don’t end up regretting leaving the one thing I’ve loved all my life! This is about the wedding I’m supposed to be planning but have no time for because of hockey and HBO and Jordan being hurt and now you and your knee!” I screamed, collapsing to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Erra,” Geno said, taking a step forward.
“DON’T COME NEAR ME!” I hollered. “Stop treating me like a child! I’m twenty-three! I can take care of myself! I’ve been taking care of myself, and others too! I’m sick of everything! Everything keeps dumping itself on my shoulders! All of your petty problems and injuries and no one ever listens to me! What about my problems, and my injuries. None of you even know that I have a bruised rib! No one ever asks me how I’m doing, or if I’m ok!”
“We’re asking now,” Tanger said, not fidgeting as he translated as I went back and forth between languages. “We’re asking now, Erra. I see how everything’s affecting you right now. Let us help you.”
I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. “I don’t want to be ignored anymore! I don’t want to be the one everyone goes too, but no one ever asks me how I am!” I put my head against my knees and cried for a long moment. “I never wanted all of this! All I wanted was to play hockey. All I wanted was to prove myself!”
Tanger took a cautious step forward. This time, I didn’t yell to keep him away. He didn’t touch me however. “We all figure you don’t want us to ask how you are,” he said, his tone gentle. “Whenever we do ask, you just shrug and say you’re fine if you aren’t.”
“You’ve put too much on you own shoulder,” Geno added in. “We want to help, but you push us away. Stop push, we will help.”
I said nothing, just continued to cry as all my emotions that I bottled up since the beginning of the season came out all at once.
“I’ll make a deal with you,” Tanger said, and that got me to look up at him. “Stop pushing us away when we want to help, like right now, and we will listen to you. We want to help you and we don’t want you to be so stressed.” He held my gaze. “Ok?”
I stared at him while biting my bottom lip, and finally, I nodded.
Kris got up from a squat and came over to me, dropping down next to me and pulling me into his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head against his chest, and continued to cry out all of my emotions.
He comforted me, despite the fact I hurt him and pushed him away earlier, but he held to his deal.
Geno unlocked the door, and left to talk to the rest of the team that was outside, drawn by my screams.
For the longest time, Tanger stayed with me just like that. Eventually, the door opened and Coach walked through, getting a good, silent look at me before speaking in a gentle tone. “Take a few days off, Erra.”
I unhid my face from Tanger and looked at him. “But~”
“No buts, Sierra, hon,” he said, squatting in front of me and brushed hair from my face. “You come first, not the team, and you need time to yourself and relax. I’ve already to Flower. We want you to feel better, not like you have been.”
I knew Geno told them everything.
Eventually, I nodded and Coach got up to leave me alone. I stayed in Tanger’s arm, starting to control myself. He swept his thumb under my eyes to wipe the tears away and I sniffed. My body was still shaking.
Marc walked in, clearly worried, and spotted us in the corner. He came over, opened his arms, and I immediately shifted my body into his arms. “Let’s get you home,” he whispered softly in French in my ear.
He stood up with my body in his arms, and I kept my face against the crook of his neck. “Thank you, Tanger,” he said, and after that, I completely blocked out every noise in the world except for Marc’s calming breath.