Don't Walk Away

4 weeks later

Five minutes had passed since I took the test and I knew I was about to get my result. It was going to be positive; I just knew it. Since that night I spent with Brian my mind has already decided what the test is going to tell me. I already know the answer and I know that he’ll want nothing to do with me or child. We haven’t spoken at all since ‘that night’ and now I'm going to be having his freaking baby! This can’t be happening!

I should probably calm down. Maybe I'm just getting caught up with myself; assuming things that I have no reason to think. There are loads of other explanations for the signs I’ve had and they don’t all lead to pregnancy. There’s a chance that I might not be having a baby after all. Until I check I can’t imagine that there’s something growing inside of me. What if there isn't anything there? What if I'm overreacting? I know everything points to me being pregnant but it’s not definite, not yet anyway.

It was time. I was about to find out if my life was going to change forever. I’ll have to drop out of school for the baby; I’ll have to give up all of my dreams and become a full time mum. This has the potential to completely ruin me.

I’d better check and save my mind from getting too stressed out at the moment. Stress is bad for me either way; it’s something I’d rather not have to deal with in any situation to be honest with you, never mind this one.

My heart began racing as I picked up the stick. I could literally hear each thud it was making. I was so scared! How am I supposed to look after a baby? I'm fifteen! I'm still a kid myself.

Water trickled down my face at the result and my lip started trembling. As I read the answer I let out a cry, struggling to deal with this happening to me. I'm pregnant. I'm carrying a flipping baby. There’s another life inside of me. Wow.

New life is being created inside me. If only I deserved it. Some people who’d love a child aren’t able to have one; it’s unfair. Then there’s me; I don’t want a baby. I don’t want to get rid of it now that I'm having it either though. An abortion is something that I’d never do; I couldn’t kill someone. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I harmed this baby. But, even though I won’t get rid of it now, if I could go back to that night with Brian and change things, I certainly would.

This is going to be Brian’s baby. Oh God! I almost forgot about Brian; he’s going to be the bloody dad! But from what I’ve heard he isn't very good with responsibilities and he can barely look after himself. What does this mean for our child?

It’ll have to grow up without a father. I'm going to be a single mother as well as a teen one. Am I seriously meant to cope with all of the on my own?

I know my parents won’t help. They’ll hate me after this but there’s no chance I’ll be able to hide it from them. I might just about manage when I'm carrying it but when it’s out of me I won’t be able to keep it from them. My life is over.

***

It was getting close to time for me to start heading to school. I was already a good hour late but you can’t say I don’t have a good reason for not being on time. I’ve just had the worse news ever. Am I expected to just act like this is nothing? I can’t do that; I’ve been crying since I found out for God’s sake! I'm going to need to face the world eventually though. Even if I'm not quite ready yet; I’ll have to go in or my mum will kill me.

I grabbed my bag and walked out of the house, making sure the door was locked before walking down my drive. I always walk to school. It’s just down the road from where I live so it’s not much of a distance and it gives me a bit of exercise as well, a good thing, right?

A downside to walking on your own down a practically empty street is that it gives you time to think, something that I don’t want now. I’ll do it later because if I do think now I’ll just end up crying.

“Cassie,” I heard someone shout me from across the road. I kept walking because I didn’t recognize the voice; I didn’t even look at them. How would some random person know my name? “Cassie! Wait up.”

I slowed my pace slightly and let whoever it was get a little closer to me.

“It is Cassie, right?” they asked when they were standing next to me.

I looked at him and wanted to cry when I saw who it was. Brian. It wasn't just because he was there that I was upset. It wasn't only about the news I’d just found out. It was something small that was bothering me. He had to check what my name was. I'm the mother of his child and he isn't even sure of my name...

“Hey, don’t cry,” he said when he noticed my reaction to seeing him again.

I tired pushing him away from me but I didn’t have the strength or the energy at the moment. He wrapped his arms around me and allowed me to cry onto his shoulder.

“W-why are you here?” I sniffed.

“I’m just a bit late,” he chuckled. “But I'm glad I am here,” he whispered after.

He hasn’t spoken to me in so long, but now I'm in his arms. He doesn’t even know me. How is this even happening?

“Bri-Brian,” I stuttered. He needs to know.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“I need to-to tell you something.” I pushed him back from me and looked into his eyes. I can’t believe I'm going to tell him. I can’t even believe that I'm in a situation where I have to tell him something like this.

“What’s up?” he asked, looking concerned now.

I didn’t know why he was acting like this. He doesn’t have a reason to care yet. Why is he even talking to me?

“I-I I'm pregnant,” I muttered, loosing eye contact when the words fell from my mouth. “It’s yours,” I sighed.

I looked up as his eyes grew wide and a shocked look spread across his face.

“I’ve, er, got to go,” he whispered before turning and walking ahead of me towards the school.

Crap!

“Brian!” I shouted after him.

“I've got classes,” he carelessly said back, not facing me though. “Already late,” I just about heard him mumble.

Oh God...