Between a Little Piece of Heaven and the Danger Line

I opened my eyes, and realized I must have fallen asleep. Brian was laying beside me, eyes closed and he was snoring lightly. I smiled weakly at him and kissed the tip of his nose, I could still feel the heat of his lips all over my body I wished they were still there, and not the ghosted memories. I slowly got out of bed and got dressed in an old band tee and flannel sweats. I was going to stick to my promise, no matter how much it pained me, I was going to prove to him that he could trust me. I let Majesty and Icky out and filled their food dishes and put fresh water in their bowls. Then I set out to make breakfast, the bag Brian had brought with him was on the counter so I peaked inside. There was a box of croissants, several small bowls filled with assorted fruits, and two bowls of a light pink yogurt, with strawberry hand written on the homemade label.

I had a sudden idea and went over to the stocked fridge, I had been trying to keep the appearance that I was eating up and went grocery shopping on the days that I normally went. I pulled out a carton of eggs and a package of thick cut bacon and set to work. Soon I had made up some scrambled eggs, crispy strips of bacon, and toasted the croissants to perfection, taking a glass I filled it halfway up with water. I reached over for the flowers and cut a couple down and stuck them in the glass. Now all I had to do was spoon the yogurt and some fruit into two bowls, set it all up on a tray, and fill two gasses with orange juice and carry it all upstairs.

It was a struggle, the tray was heavy, and I couldn't believe that I didn't drop it a couple times. I nudged the door I had left open a crack, causing it to creak open enough for me to slip through. I carefully put the tray on my dresser and sat down beside Brian. I leaned down next to his ear, “Baby wake up,” I cooed, he grinned, but didn't open his eyes. I leaned down and lightly bit his earlobe, it was enough to make him growl and open his eyes.

“I was sleeping.” He pouted sticking out his lower lip. I shook my head and went over to the tray, with shaking hands from exertion, I brought it over. When he saw my struggle he jumped up and gently took the tray from my hands. “You haven't been eating lately?” He asked gently, I nodded. He sighed, but knew that today was going to be different. He knew I never broke a promise if I could help it.

“I was scared to.” I admitted lowly, he nodded slowly. There wasn't much talking, we'd done enough of that today. Now, he watched as I struggled to eat the feeble meal I cooked up It was a start though. I Know it's going to take time for him to trust me, and I intend to gain every bit of his trust back.
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The days went by fast and soon it was a week later and we were in the studio. I was nervous, during one of the nights I had woken up drenched in sweat from nightmares I wrote a song. I never write songs, but it felt so good to get my feelings off my chest. I shook my head mentally, pulled out the worn crumpled piece of paper, tried to smooth it as best I could, and handed it to our fearless leader. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I suppose he'd never seen me this quiet before.

He read over the paper, eyes flicking from line to line, a small smile formed on his face, “Dude this shit is fucking awesome!” He exclaimed reading it over again, and Johnny and Brian came over to where we were standing. Matt passed the paper over to the other two, Johnny held it while Brian leaned over his shoulder. Johnny grinned, and Brian flicked his eyes over worriedly. He was the only one who knew that it was about me. “Here, I think I have a perfect idea for this.” He took the paper and went to the vocal booth, we watched as he pressed a couple buttons and a previously recorded instrumental demo that was waiting for the perfect lyrics to be completed.

Dragged ya down below
Down to the devil's show
To be his guest forever
Peace of mind is less than never
Hate to twist your mind
But God ain't on your side
An old acquaintance severed
Burn the world your last endeavor

The door to the studio opened after he began the first verse, and in walked in the man who we had been waiting for, a little girl with curly brown hair trailing behind him. His beard was dyed blue, and his hair was long and wiry, Mike Portnoy. Matt came out of the vocal booth and turned off the instrumental then he joined us.

“Hey, it's good to see you man.” Matt greeted first, holding out his hand. Mike took it, and we all greeted him warmly. It was great to meet Jimmy's idol, but the wish he that he was here hung in the room, like the unspoken of pink elephant.

“Hey, sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances.” We knew then that we made the right choice. I looked at the little girl, she looked to be around ten or twelve. “This is Melody, she wanted to tag along.” He told us and we all nodded our hello's again to the little girl. [I'm not sure how old she really is, so if anyone knows please comment and tell us.] We got down to business, and by the end of the day everybody was full of melancholic feelings.

This whole situation is my fault.

I forced myself to shake the thought out of my head as I climbed into the drivers seat of my car. I looked in the mirror, my eyes were brighter and the dark circles were slowly erasing themselves. Brian made sure to tell me everyday that I was the most beautiful thing his eyes had ever seen. I just wished I saw what he did. I was trying I really was, and I glared at the reflection I saw in the mirror still. I was doing this for him. I reminded myself of that everyday, I was doing this all for him.

The drive to my house was filled with Hollywood Undead, as I blasted their CD I needed the comic relief it provided. I rapped horribly along with it, and had mustered up a real smile for once without the help of Brian. That all faded away when I saw the reason for the way I am now sitting on my front steps, Gena. She was always picking out something that was wrong about me, and one day I saw it all too. I guess the cliché is true, having someone tell you you're ugly long enough eventually becomes the truth after awhile, and you start to believe it.
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