Between a Little Piece of Heaven and the Danger Line

A few days after meeting Mike for the first time, we were all hanging out in the studio, trying to piece together pieces for Zacky’s song called Nightmare. Mike was doing great on the drums, as you’d expect. It was exactly what Jimmy would have wanted. Matt’s voice was still amazing and he was putting great emotion into the lyrics while still making the tune catchy, and Johnny had come up with a decent bass line for it. Now it was just down to me and Zacky to get a hang of the guitar riffs and perfect them.

It was just after lunch and Zacky and I were alone in the studio. Everyone else was taking their time getting their food and hadn’t returned yet. I sighed as I plonked myself down in my favourite seat and picked up my guitar. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop thinking that if Jimmy was here I would be inspired to play. I knew I wasn’t dependent on him, especially for my guitar skills, but the thought lingered.

“Any ideas yet, Zack?” I asked, trying to distract myself. I skimmed my fingers over the fret board, attempting to piece together some good chords into a tune.

“Na,” he mumbled from behind me. There was no way he could hide that sadness in his voice. He was extremely upset.

“What’s wrong?” I questioned, turning around to face him. Zacky was sitting with his head in his hands, his guitar nowhere near him.

“Gena,” he replied curtly, making me roll my eyes.

“You’ve got to be kidding. What the hell does she want now?” I growled, but before Zacky could answer, Matt entered the studio.

“Hey guys,” Matt said as he took his jacket off. “I was wondering if you had talked to Johnny or Mike yet?”

“About what?” I asked when Zacky remained quiet.

“About the relationship you two have,” Matt answered simply, proving to me that he was completely okay with it now.

“Oh, no. I guess we could do that when they get back,” I said and Matt nodded approvingly.

“They deserve to know,” he stated as he took a seat in a swivel chair next to me. He spied Zacky and then lowered his voice to ask me if he was okay. I shrugged. If Gena was really making him depressed, that meant he wasn’t over her and I wasn’t making him happy enough, and I didn’t want to believe that that was what was going on. Johnny and Mike soon returned and Matt ushered them to sit down. I stopped fiddling with my guitar and put it back in its stand, taking in a deep breath as I prepared myself for the delivery of my shocking news.

“So, there’s something I have to tell you two,” I begun simply and both of the men raised their eyebrows, making me feel nervous. “I’m gay.”

“Oh,” Mike said, slowly nodding. “Okay. Not a problem.” Johnny remained quiet, his facial expression not giving away any emotions. It was his opinion that I was more concerned about.

“And I’m dating Zacky,” I finished. Mike shrugged it off, proving he was totally cool with it, but Johnny’s reaction was the opposite. He leaned forward in his seat to look at Zacky who nodded, showing it wasn’t a joke.

“No. You have to be fucking with me. You guys always pick on me,” Johnny said, the disbelief evident in his voice.

“He’s not, Johnny. They’re actually a couple,” Matt attempted to calm Johnny as he moved a hand over his face.

“Wow. This is so wrong on so many levels,” Johnny mumbled. I glanced at Matt for support while Mike remained quiet, knowing his place.

“What’s so wrong about it?” I piped up when no one said anything.

“What’s wrong with it? Gay is wrong, Brian! Especially when you’ve been straight your whole life! You can’t just suddenly turn around and tell me you’re fucking one of our best friends!” Johnny exclaimed angrily, hurting my feelings.

“He has not been straight his whole life and we are not fucking each other!” Zacky yelled, shocking us all with his outburst.

“This is ridiculous! How are we supposed to go on tour with two gay guys! Matt, help me out here!” Johnny continued, Mike shaking his head.

“I’m okay with it! Why can’t you accept them for who they are?” Matt retorted, finally sticking up for us. Johnny fell silent for a moment, breathing heavily.

“Did Jimmy know?” Johnny asked in a quieter voice.

“He knew before we did,” I whispered, hanging my head. First the emotional blow about my sexuality, and now Johnny had the nerve to mention Jimmy. The tears were coming because this was simply far too much for me to handle right now.

“This is just... It’s just pathetic, Brian. How could you do this?” Johnny said disappointedly as he stood up. He grabbed his coat and stormed out of the studio.

“I’ll talk to him later, once he’s cooled off,” Matt said quietly and I glanced over at Zacky. He was back to sitting with his head in his hands, his shoulders hunched over. At least his weight was getting back to normal. He really was trying. But he wasn’t happy yet. Maybe I just simply couldn’t make him that happy.

“Just for the record, I really don’t care. It doesn’t change who you are or how I view either of you,” Mike spoke up and I nodded a respectful thanks to him. We then tried to get back into making the song, but none of us could concentrate so we soon called it quits. Zacky had caught a ride with me to the studio today, so we jumped into my car and headed back to his place, still silent from the shock of Johnny’s reaction.

“So, tell me more about Gena.” I made an attempt to start a conversation as I pulled out of the car park. Zacky remained silent as I turned onto the road and headed towards our suburb. “Okay, let’s try a different topic. Why aren’t you happy with me anymore?”