Between a Little Piece of Heaven and the Danger Line

Hiking and fishing had been fun today, but the company was even better. I was getting our things together while Brian cleaned the fish he had picked out for dinner tonight. After we cleaned up we were heading out because we had to be at the studio in the morning to put the finishing touche son a couple songs and work on a couple others. The album was supposed to be finished at the end of the month, but I don't know how that was going to happen, we still needed at least three more songs, and nobody wanted to address the giant purple elephant in the corner that was touring.

I watched as Brian quickly battered the meat and laid it in the fryer, smiling at the satisfactory
sound of bubbling oil. Then checked the sheet of vegetables in the oven roasting. The perfect mix of healthy and fattening. I shook my head at the thought, I wasn't going to let that little nagging voice take over my life again.

I made myself known, “I think I got everything, I'm gonna throw these in the trunk.” He nodded
and shot me a smile, and poked at the fish with the spatula. When everything was ready we ate in peace, and occasionally did the cheesy feeding each other routine, then cleaned up. After all that was finished we locked up and headed out. The ride was peaceful, and quiet, the only noise coming from the radio.

The moment we got back to Brian's place, we fed the dogs, and went straight to bed. I woke up with my face buried in Brian's side, his arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders, and our legs tangled. I smiled and placed small kisses along his chest and neck. I smirked when he groaned and pulled me closer, and then started tracing the lines of his tattoos.

“Zacky,” He whined, “That tickles.” His voice thick with sleep. I continued, and enjoyed the little muffled giggles that he fought to keep in as he squirmed from my tickling lips. Not long after that the his alarm started going off, we stopped fooling around, and he turned the alarm off. He looked me in the eyes, his chocolate orbs penetrating, and with a smirk he opened his mouth, “Wanna shower together, you know conserve water?” Then he waggled his eyebrows. I chuckled then nodded, and we got out of the warm bed and in the shower. I'm pretty sure that we didn't conserve any water.

The studio was pretty much the same, it was somber as always, but there was a sense of peace too. Matt and Mike were talking about a drum part and how to fit it so that it set off the tone of the lyric. Then Gena came in, her face was full of anger, and I felt my stomach drop.

“You son of a bitch! A fucking restraining order!? ” She yelled, and I swear she flew across the room, and landed on top of me, arms flailing. After that everything was pretty much a blur, there was yelling, from Gena and the guys, I was kind of in shock. After a few, what felt like hours but were really only, seconds of her attacking me she was pulled off of me by one of the guys. There was no sound, I saw their mouths moving, but I couldn't hear what they were saying, it was like I had lost the ability to hear. I looked over at Gena, she was struggling to get out of Matt's hold, kicking her legs and scratching at his arms. Johnny was on the phone, making wide hand gestures, Mike was helping Matt by trying to restrain Gena's legs, and Brian was in front of me trying to get my attention.

Then all at once all the sound came back, Gena's enraged screams, police sirens, Matt yelling at Gena, and Brian still trying to get my attention. My face hurt, my pride hurt, and I was starting to feel numb. “Zacky, babe, you're scaring me,” He was pleading, and I could hear how scared he was. I went in and out of my daze, the cops came and took statements, pictures, and Gena was hauled off in hand cuffs.

Time seemed to stop or go into slow motion, this had all happened before, she would go off over the tiniest things, but nobody had ever witnessed it before, and I had been able to hide it. Now they knew, they knew that I couldn't defend myself from someone half my size. They knew that she could render me defenseless and spineless. I was somewhat aware of Brian leading me out of the studio, the guys following, and into his car. I spaced out during the drive, and Brian had to lead me into the his house.

I was sat on his sofa, and at some point one of the guys, started to clean my face up. She must have scratched my face, because a lot of antiseptic was used and some gauze pads were taped to my cheek and forehead.

“This wasn't the first time she's done something like this, is it?” Matt's voice broke me out of my fog, he was sitting on the table in front of me, resting his elbows on his knees. I bit my lip, but cringed when I realized it was split and swollen.

I looked down and nodded, “No it's not the first time, she used to do it all the time.” I spoke quietly in hopes that it prevent anybody from hearing, but from the sounds of the deep breaths that everybody was taking my plan hadn't been successful.

“Dammit Zacky why didn't you say something?” Johnny asked from across the room hurt. I laughed bitterly.

“What was I going to say, 'Oh hey guys, I can't defend myself against my girlfriend, can you help me out?' No you guys wouldn't have let me live it down.” I heard someone scoff. “Oh don't deny it, and don't fucking scoff at me.” I was getting pissed, but I knew that I shouldn't be. It wasn't their fault it was mine in a way, I had let it get that far.

“Zacky we've known something was off for a long time, we were waiting for you to come to us,”
Matt sighed, rubbing his face. Brian was sitting beside me, he was quiet and rigid. I knew he was pissed, and I also knew that he was worried about me, so I took my hand and wrapped it around his and squeezed lightly, to show I was still there. “Why didn't you come to us?” Matt asked quietly, upset.

“Because, I was embarrassed. I'm Zacky Fuckin' Vengeance, I don't take shit from anybody, and I
can't handle a girl? There is something wrong with that picture.” They just shook their heads.

“Zacky, abuse is abuse no matter who is inflicting it,” Johnny growled standing up, “C'mon Matt.”
Matt sighed but followed Johnny, looking hurt. I leaned back on the couch and into Brian's side.
“I really screwed up didn't I?” I asked softly, not really looking for an answer. I felt him take a deep
breath and he wrapped his arm around me.

“You didn't screw up, but if you had handled the situation differently this might not have
happened.” I could always count on him to be honest, “No more secrets?”

I nodded, “No more secrets.” I repeated, and kissed his cheek. We sat there quietly for a while,
enjoying each others' company.

“Leana called the other day, she wants to hang out next week.” I was shocked, nobody had heard from Leana since the funeral, she claimed that it was too hard to see us without Jimmy, I hoped she was doing good, or on the path to doing good.