Between a Little Piece of Heaven and the Danger Line

I thought I had heard someone walk up to my front door, but I soon dismissed it as my imagination. My imagination had been running wild and my mind had been playing tricks on me for the past few days, even when I was hanging with Matt or Johnny. I guess my heart just really wanted Zacky to come back through that door and tell me everything was going to work out. Right on cue, a feeble knock came from my door. I raised my eyebrows, thinking how it was ironic someone happened to be at my door. I stopped looking in the fridge for something to eat for dinner and went to answer it. Please God, please let it be Zacky. I opened it and there stood the man himself, looking handsome as he always did, his hair slicked back for once. He looked nervous and we just stood there in silence. I didn’t know what to say; I had said it all before during his last visit. It was all up to him now.

And then he did it.

He pushed me forcefully into the wall and pressed his lips against mine. He kissed me. And the kiss was heavenly, just like I had expected it would be. Zacky’s lips felt so right against mine, and I could feel his passion and love coming through in the few seconds that his lips were upon mine. Since my eyes had automatically shut when he kissed me, as soon as he broke away, I opened them. Yup, Zacky was still there. This wasn’t a dream. My lips were parted, my eyes open wide from the surprise. This seriously couldn’t be happening...

“I think... I think I like you back, Brian...” Zack whispered, slightly breathless, and I felt the corners of my mouth rising into a smile. Relief flooded my body and I felt a sudden urge to hug him, so did. I flung my arms around his upper torso and Zacky’s made their way around my waist while I nestled my head into his neck. He smelled so good... Zacky was resting his head against the side of my neck too, and everything just felt so right. We had shared hugs before, but just quick friendly man-hugs that didn’t mean anything. But this really meant something. You could feel the caring love radiating off us. I looked over to the open door and suddenly felt cold, so I pulled out of the hug.

“You know, it’s really rude to just leave the door open like that, Zack,” I commented jokingly and he gave me a chilled smile.

“Sorry...” he mumbled as I walked over to the door. After I had shut it, I turned around to see Zacky still standing there. I put my arms behind my back for a second so I could pinch some skin on my forearm. Ow! No, this wasn’t a dream...

“Uh, let’s go sit down,” I suggested and Zack nodded in response. We made our way into my lounge where we sat down on the couch, both of us making an attempt to sit closer than we usually did. I sat so I was leaning against the back of the couch with my left side so I was facing Zacky, who was sitting normally. I placed my right hand over the top of his, linking my fingers in his. He seemed to tense up when I first touched him like that, but I noticed he soon relaxed and gave me a warm smile. “So where have you been these past few days? No one’s heard from you.”

“I was at my place, just thinking,” he replied. “You can understand I needed time alone, right?” I nodded my head, knowing exactly what he meant.

“I’m sorry if I scared you or anything. I just needed to tell you how I felt, in case something happened to you too,” I said, remembering Jimmy. He had passed and there were so many things I had wished I had said to him or done with him. But it was too late. And if that happened to Zacky too... I don’t know how I would live with all of those regrets. At least now, I knew I didn’t have to.

“It’s okay. I did kinda freak out, but I think I’ve sorted my mind out now,” Zacky spoke softly. “I’ve felt things for you for a while, and I know that this isn’t happening because of Jimmy... This is real, isn’t it?” He really sounded like he doubted himself.

“To me, if we were to be in a relationship, it would be as real as it gets. I take love seriously, Zack,” I replied and he nodded.

“What do we say to the guys?” he questioned shyly.

“I... I don’t think we should say anything,” I answered slowly, not too sure what he would think about my opinion on that. “You’re the only one who knows I’m gay, apart from a handful of others guys you don’t know. I don’t want the band to freak out. The last thing I need right now is for Avenged Sevenfold to break up. We need to continue for Jimmy, and for ourselves.”

“I know exactly what you mean. How would we... go out?” Zacky continued, sort of sounding like he wasn’t completely okay with the idea of a male-male relationship yet.

“We’d find a way to. Are you really sure this is what you want?” I felt him tense again, but then he put his left hand on top of my right hand, squashing it between his hands.

“I’m sure.” Zacky placed a sweet kiss on my right cheek to prove his point and I felt butterflies rising in my stomach.

“You have no idea how happy you’ve made me,” I managed to say, staring at Zacky with an adoring look. He was finally going to be mine. After all of these years of dreaming and keeping my gay feelings a secret from him and the band, he was finally going to be mine.

“Me too,” he said with a small smile. “So what happens now?” Good question. I looked away at the floor, thinking.

“Would you like to have a dinner-and-movie night here tonight?” I suggested, hoping he’d say yes. A movie after dinner was always a great way to start a relationship.

“Is that... a date?” Zacky managed to say. I stared deeply into his stunning green eyes, getting lost for a moment. He was so handsome...

“Would you like it to be?” I asked cheekily, earning a smile from him. Oh that gorgeous smile of his...

“Of course.”

“It’s a date then. What would you like to eat? I’ll cook,” I said before he offered to do so himself. The whole band knew Zacky was the best cook, and that he liked cooking for us.

“Something not fatty. I’m trying to stay slim,” he replied while poking his stomach area.

“You’re not fat. You’re just right,” I commented. I then gave him a kiss on the forehead before I stood up to go to the kitchen. Before I went behind the wall, I turned my head to get one last look at him. Yeah, he was still there. This was real. I was about to start a romantic relationship with one of my best friends, who I had admired secretly for years. And it wasn’t a dream.