Nothing's Making Sense at All

Come on Ashlee. Snap out of it. I mentally scolded myself when walking to the front of the stage. I hadn't been myself since he told me that we were over. That having a girlfriend just wasn't in the cards for him. But he was here. This show meant the world to me because it was a make it or break it show. Label reps were here, from ever company my dad could get to come. I didn't need the added stress.

"Please welcome Miss Ashlee Moore to the stage folks".

I took a deep breath, before grabbing my acoustic guitar and walked out to the middle of the stage and took a seat on the stool out there, adjusting the mic to my height, I took a deep breath before starting.

"Hey." I smiled, before my eyes connect with his chocolate brown ones. "This song is an original that I wrote three weeks ago, and its dedicated to Alex." I played a few random notes to make sure my guitar was tuned right, before starting my song.


Everything's cool, yeah
It's all gonna be okay, yeah
And I know,
Maybe I'll even laugh about it someday

But not today, no
Cause I don't feel so good
I'm tangled up inside
My heart is on my sleeve
Tomorrow is a mystery to me

And it might be wonderful
It might be magical
It might be everything I've waited for,
A miracle
Oh, but even if I fall in love again
With someone new
It could never be the way I loved you

Letting you go is
making me feel so cold, yeah
And I've been trying to make
believe it doesn't hurt

But that makes it worse, yeah
See, I'm a wreck inside
My tongue is tied and my
whole body feels so weak
The future may be all I really need

And it might be wonderful, yeah
It might be magical, uh oh
It might be everything I've waited for,
A miracle
Oh, but even if I fall in love again
with someone else
It could never be the way I loved you

Like a first love,
the one and only true love
wasn't it written all over my face, yeah
I loved you like you loved me (Oh)
Like something pure and holy
Like something that can never be replaced

And it was be wonderful,
It was magical,
It was everything I've waited for,
A miracle
And if I should ever fall in love again
with someone new
Oh, It could never be the way
No, It will never be the way
I loved you

I smiled as the last note left my guitar and the only tear slipped down my cheek before getting up, and bowing to the applauding crowd before making it back stage where I was smothered in a tight hug by my best friend Jessica.

"You did good babe." She said as she let go

"I almost broke down" I smiled whipping a stray tear from my face. "I think I even cracked out there"

"Yeah well the idiot had the nerve to show up here. I don't blame you." Jess said, getting hot at Alex, even if she was dating his best friend, she still hated him for the hurt he threw at me.

"Its fine Jess. Really, I mean it was bound to happen. My father called Hopless too."

"Ashley Moore?" I heard from the left side of me.

"Yeah?" I said turning, seeing a women in a business suit and a brief case in hand.

"My name is Marina James and I am a Representative with Warner Brothers records. Is there somewhere we can talk?"

"Um yeah, there is a Starbucks across the street we-"I said pointing to myself and Jess "Can walk over there if you would like?"

"Sure. That would be great and I could use a latte" She smiled following us out.

After that meeting Ashley's life became a whirl wind. Signing contracts, preforming shows, recording her first full length CD and promotion for that. But she still felt as if something was missing. Well not something but rather someone.

"Stop it." Came the voice of her best friend, through her wall. Jack was over spending the last few days with his girlfriend before the boys left for Europe for three months.

I sighed before grabbing my guitar and a pen and headed out to the park down the street. I settled down on a bench, strumming a few notes before writing down some lyrics. Before I started playing the last song I wrote. I got three notes in before I broke down completely.

"Ash." Came from my left.I didn't need to look to know who it was. That voice was engraved into my head.

"Alex" I mumbled before wiping my eyes with the sleeve of the sweater I was wearing "What are you doing here?"

"Couldn't sleep. Needed to clear my head about somethings, that a new song?" He asked scratching the back of his neck

"Yeah. I wrote it yesterday when Jess went to Jack's."

"Can I hear it?"

"If you really want to Alex" I said hoping he changed his mind.

"I always want to her your songs Smash." He said using the nickname he used to call me

I took a deep breath, and jumped into the song, locking eyes with him the whole time.

Sha la la la la
Sha la la la la

You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms

I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

[CHORUS:]
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

[CHORUS]
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

[CHORUS]
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

After the final word left my mouth I jumped up and started walking back to my house.

"I love you Ashlee Renne." I heard behind me

I turned around and looked at him, so much hurt,looking lost, and complete honesty in his eyes.

"I love you too Alexander." I whispered back.

"I'm sorry." He said walking closer

"I know" I said as he stepped right in front of me, his hands landing on my hips

"I fucked up big Smash"

"Yeah you did" I said glancing from his lips to his eyes and back again

"Forgive me?" He begged inches from my lips

"Everytime." I whispered out as he closed the distance between our lips sending shivers and tingles up and down my spine.