‹ Prequel: Clear Visions 1
Partying and Disaster.
Lost.
Walking home slowly she felt a sudden chill. It was like her whole body was frozen. Things got worse when it started to rain. She wished she had accepted staying at Derricks. How could she? She had lost their son. It was stupid. Clearly she couldn’t protect anyone. All she wanted was to have a family. That didn’t look likely she had hurt Derrick and lost Shane. The strange thing is she hadn’t meant to do either. She hadn’t meant to kiss Ben, hadn’t meant to loose Shane
She walked up the stairs to the house and unlocked the door. She walked over and sat on the sofa looking up on the ceiling and counting the spots which weren’t there. She then looked over at the phone table. It all flooded back to her. When Derrick had been kidnapped. How he had nearly been killed and how Ben had nearly been given Shane.
She fought the tears as she heard a knock on the door. She ran over and opened it, two words left her mouth before she could see who it was. ‘Shane! Oh... Its you.’
‘Jen, I just came to get some things I left. Is that okay?’
She nodded and allowed Derrick in. She was so lonely wanted him to stay. She still loved him. How could she tell him that after what he had seen? Ben was his best friend and though she hadn’t wanted it to end that way it had. She closed and locked the door sliding the key down her bust.
He came back down holding the bags which he wanted. He looked over at her. He missed her. Missed her so much. He wanted to be home. Home with her and with Shane if they found him. He wanted them to be a family again. Though he knew it was all but his fault he blamed himself for what had happened to Shane. He shouldn’t have left. Maybe the nothing would have happened. Maybe then he would be home safe. Or maybe that would be the case if he wasnt his father. That wasn’t the point. The point was that he wanted to be with the woman he loved.
he walked over to her when she was sitting on the couch. It was like she didnt even notice him there. She didn’t love him. She was over him. That much was clear. But he wanted to talk to her. Clear things up in his head. Make himself hate her if thats what it took. He couldnt let himself live in a world where the only person he loved hated him.
he sat next to her and looked at her. Still no reaction.
‘Jen.’
She looked round to see him. She didn’t know what to say. She had noticed him there. Still she had hoped he was only there for a second. Much more than that and she would end up telling him how she felt.
‘Derrick?’
He took a deep breathe and sighed. It was probably pointless asking her this. He thought he knew the answer already but it was worth a shot. If there was any chance of her welcoming him back into the house he wanted to take it.
‘Do you have anything left for me?’
She looked shocked. She didn’t know what to answer. She did have something left for him. He was her husband after all. She hadn’t thought about divorce. Not even for a second. She loved this man. Every second he had been gone it was like her world had fallen apart. The whole time she had hoped that he would walk in through the door from work and hug her. Then make dinner and take her to bed. It hadn’t happened.
‘Derrick.... I...’
‘I understand whatever you say. I was a asshole.’ He broke in
She knew he wasn’t to blame. What he had done had been triggered by her. She shouldn’t have kissed Ben or she should have told Derrick exactly how she felt for Ben before it happened. Of course he was going to be pissed off. She shouldn’t have been surprised at him for being pissed off. She knew what he had done to her but it was like she had forgotten the reason why she made him leave. She no longer felt threatened by him.
He looked so warm. So soft and so cuddly. She wasn’t scared. She was attracted to him. She wanted to hug him so much.
‘Derrick. I do, but, I cant do this...’
He nodded. He didn’t like the answer but what good was it arguing it wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He had to accept it. He stood and went to the door and tried to open it. Realizing it was locked he walked over to Jenny and sat next to her. ‘You want me to stay?’
She nodded and hugged his arm crying. ‘I miss you so much, you’d never believe it. I just. I want you back.’
The room went silent and Derrick got up. ‘I don’t think that can happen. I just... I don’t think I can forgive you.’ He went and sat on the pool side. Holding his head in his hands. Why had he done that? He loved her and missed her. She had asked him to move back in and he had said no. Its not that he liked living alone. He hated going back to that place. Seeing no one and hearing nothing. He would kill to be back here. Jenny walked out, carrying his favorate jacket. It was black, soft and had a picture of gothic angel on the back. She carried it over. He looked up at her and saw it. She passed it to him. ‘I haven’t seen this since...’
‘High school’ She broke in. ‘I took it from you in 12th grade’
he smiled and put it on. It still fit he couldn’t believe it. He hugged up to jenny snuggling his head in the hood. She hugged him back using her hand to slide under his cheek and make him look at her. She kissed him and he blushed. He held her hand and kissed it then slid out of the hug and walked by the pool.
Jenny got up and followed she walked by the side of him circling the pool. She wanted the jacket back but she didn’t know how to ask him. ‘Babe?’
He took it off anyway. She looked at him whilst he put it on the chair and walked back over to her. She waited till her was next to her then when he wasn’t looking her hand slipped and he went into the pool. She laughed then sat at the side putting her feet in. She knew he could swim it didn’t worry her. She looked at him. Still at the bottom. She began to question if he could swim. She wasn’t going to take that chance. She dived in and pulled him up. He wasn’t even gasping for breathe. She slapped him. ‘You ass! I thought you were drowning!'
He laughed at her. He didn’t really see why she was getting so worked up. He hugged her and kissed her. ‘Now baby. Your wet too and its cute. Your hairs floppy’ he ran his fingers through her hair and then his hand down her cheek. ‘besides you cant say its cold or anything,’ he swam to the edge. Getting out he looked at her.
She smiled sweetly and got out picking up his jacket from the chair and taking it inside. She put it on the sofa and went upstairs taking two towels and giving one to him who had followed her up. He looked around like he was in a new place.
‘You used to live here.’
‘Used to. Man Id kill to be back here.’
Jenny walked into the bedroom and said nothing. She came back out dry and carrying a change of clothes for him. She lead him into the spare bedroom where the bed was already made.
‘You can sleep in here. I just... I don’t want to be home alone. Not now anyway. Ill let you get changed in private’
He was about to object when she left the room and closed the door silently behind her. He took off his wet clothes and sat on the bed wrapping the towel around him. They used to be lovers now they were more like strangers. He couldn’t stand it. He dried then got into the clothes she had given him. He then opened the doors which lead out onto one of the balconies and hung his wet clothes over the edge. He looked out onto the view. Where were his cigs? Now was one of the times he needed one.
He went through the pocket of the jeans to find a wet packet of cigarettes. He sighed and went inside knowing there was nothing more he could do. He sat on the edge of he bed running the sheets through his hand. He closed his eyes and laid down. He wasn’t much of a bed sheets fan in this weather but after ten minutes he slid under them, put his head on the pillow and fell asleep.
He wasn’t disturbed till midnight. He was woken by the door opening. Jenny walked in and sat next to him rubbing his back whilst he was still half asleep. He rolled to look at her. She looked amazing. He hadn’t cared to close the curtains before he settled. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. More beautiful than she ever had. He gulped hard trying to keep the words and feelings down. He didn’t know what she would think if he said what he felt. She would probably slap him for part of it. Besides he didn’t know what she came in for.
She laid down resting he head on his stomach and rubbing his chest. ‘I needed someone to snuggle with. I was wondering. Could I sleep in with you?’
He didn’t say a word only moved the duvet from under her and allowed her to slip under it. She lay next to him not saying a word with her eyes open for about half an hour. She couldn’t sleep. She rolled over and hugged him hoping he was still awake. She needed some love, some one to show they care. It seemed that was all gone when he didn’t react. She took her hand off him sighing. She felt his hand take hers and pull her closer.
He rolled and took her in his arms. ‘I still love you.’ She said softly. He smiled and kissed her cheek and repeated the words she had just said to him. Her heart warmed. Maybe she had a chance of getting him back after all.
She pushed him onto his back and sat on top of him. She kissed his neck. Then his chest moving the t-shirt he was still wearing to do so. She sighed. ‘That shirts a inconvenience. Mind if I....’
‘Take it off? Be my guest. I’m sweating anyway.’
She smiled and he knew the look. ‘Oh you will be when I finish with you.’ She took the shirt off then kissed him passionately. She ran her hands slowly from his neck to his groin rubbing him slowly.
He moaned quietly then pulled her closer to him. He kissed her lips then cheek, then neck and breast. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if this is what he wanted to do. He had missed her, missed this and he was enjoying it so much. He hugged her closer so they were properly touching then moved on top of her rolling her onto the mattress.
Slowly she nibbled his neck making him jerk softly. This time she bit and again and again each time making the bite harder so she would get pull benefit. It didn’t take long before they were back to their old ways. Last time her and him had been living together and the last time he kissed her before he left she was scared of him. Scared of his strength. He didn’t look strong but she knew the muscle he had. She knew the strength. This time though he didn’t scare her. Not even nearly. She ran her hands down his back and rubbed him kissing the point on his neck where she had bitten.
She walked up the stairs to the house and unlocked the door. She walked over and sat on the sofa looking up on the ceiling and counting the spots which weren’t there. She then looked over at the phone table. It all flooded back to her. When Derrick had been kidnapped. How he had nearly been killed and how Ben had nearly been given Shane.
She fought the tears as she heard a knock on the door. She ran over and opened it, two words left her mouth before she could see who it was. ‘Shane! Oh... Its you.’
‘Jen, I just came to get some things I left. Is that okay?’
She nodded and allowed Derrick in. She was so lonely wanted him to stay. She still loved him. How could she tell him that after what he had seen? Ben was his best friend and though she hadn’t wanted it to end that way it had. She closed and locked the door sliding the key down her bust.
He came back down holding the bags which he wanted. He looked over at her. He missed her. Missed her so much. He wanted to be home. Home with her and with Shane if they found him. He wanted them to be a family again. Though he knew it was all but his fault he blamed himself for what had happened to Shane. He shouldn’t have left. Maybe the nothing would have happened. Maybe then he would be home safe. Or maybe that would be the case if he wasnt his father. That wasn’t the point. The point was that he wanted to be with the woman he loved.
he walked over to her when she was sitting on the couch. It was like she didnt even notice him there. She didn’t love him. She was over him. That much was clear. But he wanted to talk to her. Clear things up in his head. Make himself hate her if thats what it took. He couldnt let himself live in a world where the only person he loved hated him.
he sat next to her and looked at her. Still no reaction.
‘Jen.’
She looked round to see him. She didn’t know what to say. She had noticed him there. Still she had hoped he was only there for a second. Much more than that and she would end up telling him how she felt.
‘Derrick?’
He took a deep breathe and sighed. It was probably pointless asking her this. He thought he knew the answer already but it was worth a shot. If there was any chance of her welcoming him back into the house he wanted to take it.
‘Do you have anything left for me?’
She looked shocked. She didn’t know what to answer. She did have something left for him. He was her husband after all. She hadn’t thought about divorce. Not even for a second. She loved this man. Every second he had been gone it was like her world had fallen apart. The whole time she had hoped that he would walk in through the door from work and hug her. Then make dinner and take her to bed. It hadn’t happened.
‘Derrick.... I...’
‘I understand whatever you say. I was a asshole.’ He broke in
She knew he wasn’t to blame. What he had done had been triggered by her. She shouldn’t have kissed Ben or she should have told Derrick exactly how she felt for Ben before it happened. Of course he was going to be pissed off. She shouldn’t have been surprised at him for being pissed off. She knew what he had done to her but it was like she had forgotten the reason why she made him leave. She no longer felt threatened by him.
He looked so warm. So soft and so cuddly. She wasn’t scared. She was attracted to him. She wanted to hug him so much.
‘Derrick. I do, but, I cant do this...’
He nodded. He didn’t like the answer but what good was it arguing it wasn’t going to get him anywhere. He had to accept it. He stood and went to the door and tried to open it. Realizing it was locked he walked over to Jenny and sat next to her. ‘You want me to stay?’
She nodded and hugged his arm crying. ‘I miss you so much, you’d never believe it. I just. I want you back.’
The room went silent and Derrick got up. ‘I don’t think that can happen. I just... I don’t think I can forgive you.’ He went and sat on the pool side. Holding his head in his hands. Why had he done that? He loved her and missed her. She had asked him to move back in and he had said no. Its not that he liked living alone. He hated going back to that place. Seeing no one and hearing nothing. He would kill to be back here. Jenny walked out, carrying his favorate jacket. It was black, soft and had a picture of gothic angel on the back. She carried it over. He looked up at her and saw it. She passed it to him. ‘I haven’t seen this since...’
‘High school’ She broke in. ‘I took it from you in 12th grade’
he smiled and put it on. It still fit he couldn’t believe it. He hugged up to jenny snuggling his head in the hood. She hugged him back using her hand to slide under his cheek and make him look at her. She kissed him and he blushed. He held her hand and kissed it then slid out of the hug and walked by the pool.
Jenny got up and followed she walked by the side of him circling the pool. She wanted the jacket back but she didn’t know how to ask him. ‘Babe?’
He took it off anyway. She looked at him whilst he put it on the chair and walked back over to her. She waited till her was next to her then when he wasn’t looking her hand slipped and he went into the pool. She laughed then sat at the side putting her feet in. She knew he could swim it didn’t worry her. She looked at him. Still at the bottom. She began to question if he could swim. She wasn’t going to take that chance. She dived in and pulled him up. He wasn’t even gasping for breathe. She slapped him. ‘You ass! I thought you were drowning!'
He laughed at her. He didn’t really see why she was getting so worked up. He hugged her and kissed her. ‘Now baby. Your wet too and its cute. Your hairs floppy’ he ran his fingers through her hair and then his hand down her cheek. ‘besides you cant say its cold or anything,’ he swam to the edge. Getting out he looked at her.
She smiled sweetly and got out picking up his jacket from the chair and taking it inside. She put it on the sofa and went upstairs taking two towels and giving one to him who had followed her up. He looked around like he was in a new place.
‘You used to live here.’
‘Used to. Man Id kill to be back here.’
Jenny walked into the bedroom and said nothing. She came back out dry and carrying a change of clothes for him. She lead him into the spare bedroom where the bed was already made.
‘You can sleep in here. I just... I don’t want to be home alone. Not now anyway. Ill let you get changed in private’
He was about to object when she left the room and closed the door silently behind her. He took off his wet clothes and sat on the bed wrapping the towel around him. They used to be lovers now they were more like strangers. He couldn’t stand it. He dried then got into the clothes she had given him. He then opened the doors which lead out onto one of the balconies and hung his wet clothes over the edge. He looked out onto the view. Where were his cigs? Now was one of the times he needed one.
He went through the pocket of the jeans to find a wet packet of cigarettes. He sighed and went inside knowing there was nothing more he could do. He sat on the edge of he bed running the sheets through his hand. He closed his eyes and laid down. He wasn’t much of a bed sheets fan in this weather but after ten minutes he slid under them, put his head on the pillow and fell asleep.
He wasn’t disturbed till midnight. He was woken by the door opening. Jenny walked in and sat next to him rubbing his back whilst he was still half asleep. He rolled to look at her. She looked amazing. He hadn’t cared to close the curtains before he settled. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. More beautiful than she ever had. He gulped hard trying to keep the words and feelings down. He didn’t know what she would think if he said what he felt. She would probably slap him for part of it. Besides he didn’t know what she came in for.
She laid down resting he head on his stomach and rubbing his chest. ‘I needed someone to snuggle with. I was wondering. Could I sleep in with you?’
He didn’t say a word only moved the duvet from under her and allowed her to slip under it. She lay next to him not saying a word with her eyes open for about half an hour. She couldn’t sleep. She rolled over and hugged him hoping he was still awake. She needed some love, some one to show they care. It seemed that was all gone when he didn’t react. She took her hand off him sighing. She felt his hand take hers and pull her closer.
He rolled and took her in his arms. ‘I still love you.’ She said softly. He smiled and kissed her cheek and repeated the words she had just said to him. Her heart warmed. Maybe she had a chance of getting him back after all.
She pushed him onto his back and sat on top of him. She kissed his neck. Then his chest moving the t-shirt he was still wearing to do so. She sighed. ‘That shirts a inconvenience. Mind if I....’
‘Take it off? Be my guest. I’m sweating anyway.’
She smiled and he knew the look. ‘Oh you will be when I finish with you.’ She took the shirt off then kissed him passionately. She ran her hands slowly from his neck to his groin rubbing him slowly.
He moaned quietly then pulled her closer to him. He kissed her lips then cheek, then neck and breast. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if this is what he wanted to do. He had missed her, missed this and he was enjoying it so much. He hugged her closer so they were properly touching then moved on top of her rolling her onto the mattress.
Slowly she nibbled his neck making him jerk softly. This time she bit and again and again each time making the bite harder so she would get pull benefit. It didn’t take long before they were back to their old ways. Last time her and him had been living together and the last time he kissed her before he left she was scared of him. Scared of his strength. He didn’t look strong but she knew the muscle he had. She knew the strength. This time though he didn’t scare her. Not even nearly. She ran her hands down his back and rubbed him kissing the point on his neck where she had bitten.