Is Forgiveness Really an Option?
Sister
Jenny left work around 7pm. She didn’t like working late, but there had been too many patients for her to count, all of them had found a way to be difficult. She needed some tender loving care. Some of which she thought her husband would provide. Derrick seemed to be good at that. She got into the car and started the engine. She couldn’t wait to get home. Maybe she would treat him tonight. That though she would have to think about. She liked his treats too. At times she didn’t know who liked it more. She pulled out of the car park and thought.
She needed to get something for dinner. Maybe she should stop at Wal-Mart on the way home.
As usually Wal-Mart was packed to the top, she found it hard to push the trolley, though it was typical of Saturday shopping, even for the evening. She reached the check out and was about to pay when her phone rang. She reached into her pocket and answered whilst pulling the money out of her purse to pay with.
‘Hello?’
‘Baby..!’ was the reply she got, only from her sister. She looked at the number whilst carrying the bags to the car ‘Derrick’. So why was her sister using his phone to call her baby? Surely this was a joke. Her sister must be at their house and drunk. Thinking this she hurried into the car and drove home. She didn’t break the speed limits but got home within ten minutes she was quite impressed.
She went into the trunk and pulled out the shopping and after locking the car carried it up the steps and put the bags onto the kitchen side.
‘Derrick! Baby! I could do with some help!’
No reply, she went into the den to see if Derrick was in there. No. She looked through the French glass doors which lead out to the pool yard. He wasn’t there either. But Shane was, just sitting on one of the chairs looking out into the pool then to the beach and back again.
‘Shane.’ he looked up at his mom wondering what she wanted. ‘Where’s your dad? I didn’t think he was going to work today.’
‘He isn’t. He’s up stairs.’
Jenny nodded and went back into the house leaving Shane in the pool yard and sun where he seemed content to be. She walked up the stairs and heard voices in her and Derricks bedroom. She slowly walked across the landing trying not to make any noise on the wooden under boards. She reached the door and put her hand onto the handle and opened the door slowly.
Kara was sitting on the bed next to Derrick who was laying under the covers. Jenny walked over looking at them both. Kara’s hair was messed and Derrick had pinked cheeks and appeared to be tired. She sat next to Derrick but remained looking at Kara. She noticed her shirt roughly buttoned. She looked down at Derrick and kissed his cheek. Sweat.. So he had been sweating.
‘De baby, you’re hot. Are you feeling okay?’
Kara spoke before Derrick had a chance to open his mouth.
‘Jenny, thank god you’re back. He’s been sick all day. He called me at lunch to see if I could come over for some company. He sounded really crappy.’
Jenny nodded though it was clear she didn’t believe a word of what her sister was telling her. Why should she? Kara was a known compulsive liar who would lie to get herself out of any situation. She had never really cared what it meant for anyone else. She looked back to Derrick and saw he was shirtless. She rubbed his chest and kissed his head.
‘Baby, you’re sick? Why didn’t you tell me this morning?’
He closed his eyes and tried to think of an excuse. She hadn’t gone to work till 11 and by then he had been up. He saw her eyes catch onto the vodka bottle then felt her hand slip further down his chest, then under the covers and onto his stomach then she was rubbing his manhood. He gulped as she looked up at Kara. He could see her anger rising till like a volcano she erupted.
‘You! Get out of my house! You whore!’
Kara looked a mixture between hurt and shocked but after a firm look from her sister she got to her feet and headed out of the room closing the door behind her. Jenny listened carefully. She didn’t say another word until she heard the front door close and Kara drive away. Then she looked at Derrick and spoke.
‘You’re drunk, we’ll discuss this when you’re sober, that’s if you even remember what happened. Asshole.’
She left the room and went downstairs slamming the kitchen door. Derrick sat in the bedroom. He knew when she didn’t want him to follow her. Now was one of those times. He would be lucky if she wasn’t throwing his stuff into a camp fire for him to sleep in front of for the night. He had been in a mess before, been in trouble with everyone, including her. This time though he had really screwed things up. The strange thing is he couldn’t even think why. All he remembered was Kara coming to the door at about 4pm. He answered.
She had been wearing some fine clothes. She looked like Jenny.. Only…. Better. He had told her Jenny was at work and would be back later in the night. She had accepted that and was about to walk away. He should have let her, only. He was an idiot and asked her if she would like to stay for a drink and something to eat The polite thing for her to do was accept. So she did. It was going okay with them as just In-laws as such. He hadn’t been sober though. So him being him and drunk he had told her she had a nice piece of ass when she was about to leave.
She had come back and hugged him. Asked questions and turned him on. He was horny and things had just gone from there. Now though he regretted it. More than anything else on earth. He could loose the one person he truly did and had ever loved. He laid there for hours thinking. Thinking why he had done it and what was going to happen in the morning when he was sober. All he knew though is he was not looking forward to it. Why should he be? Jenny was going to yell at him and rightly so.
He put his head on the pillow and closed his eyes still thinking of what had happened and wishing it could have been Jenny. He fell asleep asking himself the same question he had all night. ‘Why did I have to go fuck her sister?’
It was well passed midnight before Jenny headed to bed. She was too annoyed at him. She wanted to sort out her feelings, what she felt, how she felt and mostly what she felt for him, what she thought of him. Right now the answer was not a lot. She wanted to slap him. Throw him out on the streets, but she still loved him. With all her heart. She couldn’t do that to the man she loved. Not when he was drunk and sleeping. She wasn’t even going to pack his bags for the morning. She didn’t intend to throw him out. Only to give him a hard time over it.
She climbed the stairs. Before going into her room and to bed she looked into Shane’s room. He was sleeping, quietly dreaming in the moonlight by his window. She walked over and kissed his head. He rolled and whined when she did. She then walked back over to the door and whispered a good night prayer then closed the door and walked into her own room.
She looked at Derrick sleeping then closed the door and walked to the wardrobe pulling out her pyjamas, slipping them on and putting the clothes she had warn that day on the chair to go into the wash the next day. She then walked over to the bed and climbed in. She rolled so she couldn’t see him. She didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to know he was there tonight.
Usually she would be holding him right now. Hugging him. But not now. Instead she would rather be on the sofa. She felt tears falling down her cheek. Why was she crying? She hadn’t done anything wrong. It hadn’t even hurt her that much. She had almost expected it. For her it had never been an ‘If’ situation, only a when. She had known him in high school. She knew he had slept around. She expected him to do it now.
It was 1am before she fell asleep still crying and thinking of how all this had happened. Why he had slept with her sister, of all people.
She woke up at 7am. Looked over to Derrick who was still sleeping. It was Sunday and usually at this time she would jog him and wake him up to tell him it was time for them to head off to church. Today though she didn’t. Only left him in bed to sleep off last night. She went into Shane’s room and woke him. She jogged him to wake him up and when his eyes opened and he looked at her she told him to get dressed for church.
She went back into her and Derricks room and got dressed into her church clothes as she called them. She looked back over at him. She walked over to his alarm clock and set it for 8am. That would give him ten minutes to get up and dressed before her and Shane got home.
She kissed his head and walked over to the bedroom door. This felt weird. They would all go to church together. She didn’t even know if he believed in a God. He had never really discussed his religious beliefs. She hadn’t cared though. He had come along for support for Shane and herself. Also, it got him out of the house and perhaps he did believe. She could always live in hope.
She left the room and went downstairs to see Shane waiting for her by the front door. He looked at her as she picked up the car keys and ushered him out of the house. She locked the front door and walked down the steps unlocking the car and getting into the drivers seat.
Shane climbed into the passenger seat and looked at his mom.
‘Where’s dad?’
Jenny breathed in, she didn’t want to tell her son that his father had been sleeping with his Aunt when he had been in the house. In fact, she didn’t want to tell him that at all.
‘He’s not well Shane sweetheart. He’s in bed. You can see him later.’
Shane knew she was lying to him. Even if his dad was ill he would get out of bed and go to church with them. Mom had always said there was no excuse for missing sermon.
Derrick heard the alarm going of like someone was screaming directly into his ear. He struggled to smack it and shut it up before it succeeded in its mission of exploding his head. He sat up and looked around the room. Jenny was gone. So she was going to kill him for sure. He had committed adultery with her sister and slept through church.
Besides, he didn’t need an alarm which she had set to tell him she was pissed at him. In fact he knew all so well. He didn’t even need a warning. When she went to bed after him and didn’t want anything to do with him that night and her wake up call was a alarm and no aspirin when she knew he had a hang over? That surely meant he was in a lot more than deep shit.
He climbed out of bed and over to the wardrobe pulling out some jeans, a t-shirt and a jacket. He got them on the put on some converse and went down stairs. He made a coffee and sat on the sofa just in time to hear Jenny pull in and Shane run up the steps yelling at the top of his lungs.
Derrick put his hood up and looked away. He was ready for anything Jenny was going to throw at him. Which could be a lot. The TV was the most likely he felt right now. Or maybe she had done that already seen as though his head felt like he had been put through the screen head first.
Jenny unlocked the front door and came into the house and then walked into the living room and looked at Derrick on the sofa. She clicked her fingers to capture his attention. He looked up and she indicated they should go outside. She took the coffee cup from in his hands and lead the way out into the pool yard. She sat on a chair and he sat on the one next to her after closing the French doors behind them.
‘De, you know what this is about?’
He nodded. She didn’t need to tell him, or remind him that she was pissed and was going to make the point of yelling at him. He knew that. He deserved it. Though he hadn’t exactly meant it to happen. It had and there was no denying it had. He had to live with that, he would take the shouting and carry on. So long as he was with her he didn’t care.
‘You have to stop drinking De. I mean it. If you’re gonna live with me and Shane you need to stop drinking, or at least cut down.’
He sighed. She had to pick at the one thing he couldn’t stop. He would prefer to give up smoking than drinking. Thinking about this he took a cig out of his packet and pit it. He dragged in slowly and exhaled the smoke just as slow. He needed this. Especially if Jenny was going to be digging at him about his drinking habits, or issues as she liked to call them.
‘Jen, its not as simple as that. You know…’
‘Its me or the alcohol…’
Derrick sighed. He didn’t want her to do this. He didn’t want to make the choice he was about to. But he had no choice. He stood up and went inside. Up the stairs and into his room. He pulled a case from on top of the wardrobe and began packing it.
Jenny followed him. She cried at what she saw. How could she let him get like this? So dependant on alcohol that he would choose beer over her and his son. She blamed herself though deep inside she knew she was not the one who was to blame. She started to cry. She loved him too much to let him go.
She couldn’t take it back though. It wasn’t safe for Shane to live with Derrick whilst he was drinking so much. Last night had been a perfect example of that. He didn’t know what he was doing when he was drunk. She couldn’t take the risk of going to work and coming home to find he had drunk a whole cabinet of Vodka and was beating the crap outta Shane. She wasn’t about to.
He hadn’t been to work all week because he had been too drunk. She couldn’t cope with that. He still got paid if he didn’t go to work but for how long?
After he’d finished packing he went out the bedroom door and down the stairs, kissed Shane good bye.
Jenny went down and stopped him when he reached the front door.
‘You sure this is what you want?’
‘Its what I need’
‘Well, when you feel you want help, you can come home baby, I still love you.’
He nodded and opened the door and set out of it then looked back and sighed.
She felt herself start crying. Why did he have to go? Why did he have to drink? When he walked out of the door she closed it behind him. She felt as though her whole life was falling apart. The perfect relationship, they had both been happy. But he couldn’t stop drinking for her? Well fuck him. She had Shane and truly, that was all she needed.
She needed to get something for dinner. Maybe she should stop at Wal-Mart on the way home.
As usually Wal-Mart was packed to the top, she found it hard to push the trolley, though it was typical of Saturday shopping, even for the evening. She reached the check out and was about to pay when her phone rang. She reached into her pocket and answered whilst pulling the money out of her purse to pay with.
‘Hello?’
‘Baby..!’ was the reply she got, only from her sister. She looked at the number whilst carrying the bags to the car ‘Derrick’. So why was her sister using his phone to call her baby? Surely this was a joke. Her sister must be at their house and drunk. Thinking this she hurried into the car and drove home. She didn’t break the speed limits but got home within ten minutes she was quite impressed.
She went into the trunk and pulled out the shopping and after locking the car carried it up the steps and put the bags onto the kitchen side.
‘Derrick! Baby! I could do with some help!’
No reply, she went into the den to see if Derrick was in there. No. She looked through the French glass doors which lead out to the pool yard. He wasn’t there either. But Shane was, just sitting on one of the chairs looking out into the pool then to the beach and back again.
‘Shane.’ he looked up at his mom wondering what she wanted. ‘Where’s your dad? I didn’t think he was going to work today.’
‘He isn’t. He’s up stairs.’
Jenny nodded and went back into the house leaving Shane in the pool yard and sun where he seemed content to be. She walked up the stairs and heard voices in her and Derricks bedroom. She slowly walked across the landing trying not to make any noise on the wooden under boards. She reached the door and put her hand onto the handle and opened the door slowly.
Kara was sitting on the bed next to Derrick who was laying under the covers. Jenny walked over looking at them both. Kara’s hair was messed and Derrick had pinked cheeks and appeared to be tired. She sat next to Derrick but remained looking at Kara. She noticed her shirt roughly buttoned. She looked down at Derrick and kissed his cheek. Sweat.. So he had been sweating.
‘De baby, you’re hot. Are you feeling okay?’
Kara spoke before Derrick had a chance to open his mouth.
‘Jenny, thank god you’re back. He’s been sick all day. He called me at lunch to see if I could come over for some company. He sounded really crappy.’
Jenny nodded though it was clear she didn’t believe a word of what her sister was telling her. Why should she? Kara was a known compulsive liar who would lie to get herself out of any situation. She had never really cared what it meant for anyone else. She looked back to Derrick and saw he was shirtless. She rubbed his chest and kissed his head.
‘Baby, you’re sick? Why didn’t you tell me this morning?’
He closed his eyes and tried to think of an excuse. She hadn’t gone to work till 11 and by then he had been up. He saw her eyes catch onto the vodka bottle then felt her hand slip further down his chest, then under the covers and onto his stomach then she was rubbing his manhood. He gulped as she looked up at Kara. He could see her anger rising till like a volcano she erupted.
‘You! Get out of my house! You whore!’
Kara looked a mixture between hurt and shocked but after a firm look from her sister she got to her feet and headed out of the room closing the door behind her. Jenny listened carefully. She didn’t say another word until she heard the front door close and Kara drive away. Then she looked at Derrick and spoke.
‘You’re drunk, we’ll discuss this when you’re sober, that’s if you even remember what happened. Asshole.’
She left the room and went downstairs slamming the kitchen door. Derrick sat in the bedroom. He knew when she didn’t want him to follow her. Now was one of those times. He would be lucky if she wasn’t throwing his stuff into a camp fire for him to sleep in front of for the night. He had been in a mess before, been in trouble with everyone, including her. This time though he had really screwed things up. The strange thing is he couldn’t even think why. All he remembered was Kara coming to the door at about 4pm. He answered.
She had been wearing some fine clothes. She looked like Jenny.. Only…. Better. He had told her Jenny was at work and would be back later in the night. She had accepted that and was about to walk away. He should have let her, only. He was an idiot and asked her if she would like to stay for a drink and something to eat The polite thing for her to do was accept. So she did. It was going okay with them as just In-laws as such. He hadn’t been sober though. So him being him and drunk he had told her she had a nice piece of ass when she was about to leave.
She had come back and hugged him. Asked questions and turned him on. He was horny and things had just gone from there. Now though he regretted it. More than anything else on earth. He could loose the one person he truly did and had ever loved. He laid there for hours thinking. Thinking why he had done it and what was going to happen in the morning when he was sober. All he knew though is he was not looking forward to it. Why should he be? Jenny was going to yell at him and rightly so.
He put his head on the pillow and closed his eyes still thinking of what had happened and wishing it could have been Jenny. He fell asleep asking himself the same question he had all night. ‘Why did I have to go fuck her sister?’
It was well passed midnight before Jenny headed to bed. She was too annoyed at him. She wanted to sort out her feelings, what she felt, how she felt and mostly what she felt for him, what she thought of him. Right now the answer was not a lot. She wanted to slap him. Throw him out on the streets, but she still loved him. With all her heart. She couldn’t do that to the man she loved. Not when he was drunk and sleeping. She wasn’t even going to pack his bags for the morning. She didn’t intend to throw him out. Only to give him a hard time over it.
She climbed the stairs. Before going into her room and to bed she looked into Shane’s room. He was sleeping, quietly dreaming in the moonlight by his window. She walked over and kissed his head. He rolled and whined when she did. She then walked back over to the door and whispered a good night prayer then closed the door and walked into her own room.
She looked at Derrick sleeping then closed the door and walked to the wardrobe pulling out her pyjamas, slipping them on and putting the clothes she had warn that day on the chair to go into the wash the next day. She then walked over to the bed and climbed in. She rolled so she couldn’t see him. She didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to know he was there tonight.
Usually she would be holding him right now. Hugging him. But not now. Instead she would rather be on the sofa. She felt tears falling down her cheek. Why was she crying? She hadn’t done anything wrong. It hadn’t even hurt her that much. She had almost expected it. For her it had never been an ‘If’ situation, only a when. She had known him in high school. She knew he had slept around. She expected him to do it now.
It was 1am before she fell asleep still crying and thinking of how all this had happened. Why he had slept with her sister, of all people.
She woke up at 7am. Looked over to Derrick who was still sleeping. It was Sunday and usually at this time she would jog him and wake him up to tell him it was time for them to head off to church. Today though she didn’t. Only left him in bed to sleep off last night. She went into Shane’s room and woke him. She jogged him to wake him up and when his eyes opened and he looked at her she told him to get dressed for church.
She went back into her and Derricks room and got dressed into her church clothes as she called them. She looked back over at him. She walked over to his alarm clock and set it for 8am. That would give him ten minutes to get up and dressed before her and Shane got home.
She kissed his head and walked over to the bedroom door. This felt weird. They would all go to church together. She didn’t even know if he believed in a God. He had never really discussed his religious beliefs. She hadn’t cared though. He had come along for support for Shane and herself. Also, it got him out of the house and perhaps he did believe. She could always live in hope.
She left the room and went downstairs to see Shane waiting for her by the front door. He looked at her as she picked up the car keys and ushered him out of the house. She locked the front door and walked down the steps unlocking the car and getting into the drivers seat.
Shane climbed into the passenger seat and looked at his mom.
‘Where’s dad?’
Jenny breathed in, she didn’t want to tell her son that his father had been sleeping with his Aunt when he had been in the house. In fact, she didn’t want to tell him that at all.
‘He’s not well Shane sweetheart. He’s in bed. You can see him later.’
Shane knew she was lying to him. Even if his dad was ill he would get out of bed and go to church with them. Mom had always said there was no excuse for missing sermon.
Derrick heard the alarm going of like someone was screaming directly into his ear. He struggled to smack it and shut it up before it succeeded in its mission of exploding his head. He sat up and looked around the room. Jenny was gone. So she was going to kill him for sure. He had committed adultery with her sister and slept through church.
Besides, he didn’t need an alarm which she had set to tell him she was pissed at him. In fact he knew all so well. He didn’t even need a warning. When she went to bed after him and didn’t want anything to do with him that night and her wake up call was a alarm and no aspirin when she knew he had a hang over? That surely meant he was in a lot more than deep shit.
He climbed out of bed and over to the wardrobe pulling out some jeans, a t-shirt and a jacket. He got them on the put on some converse and went down stairs. He made a coffee and sat on the sofa just in time to hear Jenny pull in and Shane run up the steps yelling at the top of his lungs.
Derrick put his hood up and looked away. He was ready for anything Jenny was going to throw at him. Which could be a lot. The TV was the most likely he felt right now. Or maybe she had done that already seen as though his head felt like he had been put through the screen head first.
Jenny unlocked the front door and came into the house and then walked into the living room and looked at Derrick on the sofa. She clicked her fingers to capture his attention. He looked up and she indicated they should go outside. She took the coffee cup from in his hands and lead the way out into the pool yard. She sat on a chair and he sat on the one next to her after closing the French doors behind them.
‘De, you know what this is about?’
He nodded. She didn’t need to tell him, or remind him that she was pissed and was going to make the point of yelling at him. He knew that. He deserved it. Though he hadn’t exactly meant it to happen. It had and there was no denying it had. He had to live with that, he would take the shouting and carry on. So long as he was with her he didn’t care.
‘You have to stop drinking De. I mean it. If you’re gonna live with me and Shane you need to stop drinking, or at least cut down.’
He sighed. She had to pick at the one thing he couldn’t stop. He would prefer to give up smoking than drinking. Thinking about this he took a cig out of his packet and pit it. He dragged in slowly and exhaled the smoke just as slow. He needed this. Especially if Jenny was going to be digging at him about his drinking habits, or issues as she liked to call them.
‘Jen, its not as simple as that. You know…’
‘Its me or the alcohol…’
Derrick sighed. He didn’t want her to do this. He didn’t want to make the choice he was about to. But he had no choice. He stood up and went inside. Up the stairs and into his room. He pulled a case from on top of the wardrobe and began packing it.
Jenny followed him. She cried at what she saw. How could she let him get like this? So dependant on alcohol that he would choose beer over her and his son. She blamed herself though deep inside she knew she was not the one who was to blame. She started to cry. She loved him too much to let him go.
She couldn’t take it back though. It wasn’t safe for Shane to live with Derrick whilst he was drinking so much. Last night had been a perfect example of that. He didn’t know what he was doing when he was drunk. She couldn’t take the risk of going to work and coming home to find he had drunk a whole cabinet of Vodka and was beating the crap outta Shane. She wasn’t about to.
He hadn’t been to work all week because he had been too drunk. She couldn’t cope with that. He still got paid if he didn’t go to work but for how long?
After he’d finished packing he went out the bedroom door and down the stairs, kissed Shane good bye.
Jenny went down and stopped him when he reached the front door.
‘You sure this is what you want?’
‘Its what I need’
‘Well, when you feel you want help, you can come home baby, I still love you.’
He nodded and opened the door and set out of it then looked back and sighed.
She felt herself start crying. Why did he have to go? Why did he have to drink? When he walked out of the door she closed it behind him. She felt as though her whole life was falling apart. The perfect relationship, they had both been happy. But he couldn’t stop drinking for her? Well fuck him. She had Shane and truly, that was all she needed.